Love and Support at Home and Away

Parenting should be a joint effort - or even better, a team effort. In so called "primitive" societies many mothers have all kinds of support and parenting help, not only from their husbands but from grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.

Nowadays not only do many families feel the lack of an extended family who are around for support on a day to day basis, but sometimes even the sacred bond between the two parents is disturbed, so that one parent is doing most of the parenting and not getting the support they need from their partner.

For any Mothers or Fathers who find themselves in this difficult situation, a couple of tips that might help a tiny little bit:

1) It is vital that you take care of yourself. Try to spend some time each day doing things that you enjoy. Relaxation exercises, a beloved hobby, talking to a friend on the phone, a nice bath, half an hour with a book. Make it a priority! To be a great parent, you need to take care of yourself too.

2) Don't get into pointless arguments with your spouse. State your needs clearly and calmly. Use phrases like "I need xxx" or "I can't do xxx and I need help." It's tempting to get emotional and to use blame, and sometimes it's well deserved! But it doesn't work well. Repeat your needs calmly and clearly, over and over if necessary, and make it clear that you expect your spouse to pull his or her weight.

Good luck to all you loving parents out there!

Cassie