Thursday, January 31, 2008

Update for UK Bahrain Trip

While I was away at the workshop, my dear, sweetheart of a friend Cassie covered my blogging duties, what a great person she is and she means the world to me. So for anyone interested I am going to post an update on my ticker because I didn't do it on Monday and give Cassie a break on her blogging for Thursday.

I am so happy that I get to see my dear friend and spend some quality time together. Unfortunately we do not get to see each other as much as we would like but our friendship is as strong as ever. Friendship is a give and take kind of relationship and it takes work just like a marriage, but it is so worth it because a good friend will love you unconditionally and other than your children who else can you say that about. I love my Cassie and my life has become soooooo much richer since I met her almost three years ago. That reminds me we have an anniversary to celebrate on February 18th woohooo!!!!

Friendship is also very important for children and if you are having concerns that your child is having problems in that area, now is the time to do something about it. It is OK to ask your children if they are happy with the friends that they have so they don't think that you are feeling sorry for them. More than likely they will come out and tell you if there are any concerns. Check out the article at http://www.kidsgoals.com/child-friends.shtml on helping your child to make friends.

Happy Friendship



Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Teaching your Children Forgiveness

I decided to take a self discovery workshop last weekend. I came out of it with a whole new perspective on life. I also realized that the demons from my past that I thought I had exorcised, were still hanging around and dragging me down. I learned how to really forgive and felt such an amazing feeling of freedom when I truly put all past hurts behind me.

Forgiveness is something that we need to teach our children too. Explain to them that forgiveness is not something you do for the other person, because the only one who truly benefits from forgiveness is the one who forgives. By holding onto past hurts we are only preventing our growth and success. The only way to remedy this is to truly let the person or situation that caused you hurt go, and be grateful for them and the experience and genuinely wish them well. When you can do this sincerely and from the heart, all the anger and resentment you have been carrying will magically leave you and you will be free to live your life to its fullest!

Happy Forgiveness

Monicka

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Fish Oils for Children


This article examines the link between fish oils and children's brain development, and answers some of the key questions you may have, like:

* What are the benefits of fish oil?

* Should my child be getting a fish oil supplement?

* Are there any dangers I should know about?


continue reading

Monday, January 28, 2008

Pets and Children


We have all heard of the health benefits that come from having a pet for the elderly, including preventing heart disease, lowering high blood pressure and combating depression. Caring for a beloved pet can also prevent isolation and loneliness for elderly people. Children also get great benefits from owning a pet. Studies suggest that children who have pets have stronger immune systems and are less likely to miss school because of sickness. In this article you will find information on the benefits of owning a pet as well as tips on how to choose the appropriate pet for your child.

Click here to read the article about Pets and Children

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Positive Body Image

As children reach adolescence they are very aware of the changes that are happening to their bodies. Girls especially are cognizant of how they look. Parents should realize that some of these feelings are natural and some attention to body size and shape is part of the normal growing process. But when a girl doesn't want to take physical education in school because of how she looks in shorts, this may be a warning sign of a poor body image.

Article for information and ideas to help your child to foster a healthy body image

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Manners and Social Skills for Children


 Good Morning all:)

I have only been tweeting for a short time now and I am slowly learning the lingo and the protocol, when it comes to tweets and shout outs and RT's etc. such as, it is just a common courtesy to say thank you when someone RTs' one of your tweets, or another tweeter mentions you. So just like anywhere else, having good manners and being polite to your fellow tweeters, goes a long way in the Twitter world :)


Many people agree that a lack of manners is a growing problem in our society, so helping your kids learn to be respectful is important, and in fact can give them a real head start over many of their peers when they graduate from school, college or university. Many young people these days have appalling manners and a very disrespectful attitude and tone of voice, which will NOT endear them to future colleagues at work!

At KidsGoals we believe that proper manners should be very important part of your child's education . When you teach your kids polite manners, you are teaching them good social skills that will take them far in life. We also believe that kids learn best when you make learning fun so check out our article on Manners for Kids

Just so you know KidsGoals is gearing up for the June newsletter and it's going to be great, so make sure to stop by and sign up for our free newsletter :)

KidsGoals would also like to wish a Safe and Happy Memorial Day to all of our friends in the US :)
Have an awesome Day!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Childhood Shyness


One of the things that we are both passionate about is helping children grow emotionally. And a very important part of their emotional strength is our children’s relationships with others. So we are going to be providing more and more resources to help you help your children develop their social skills.

In this article  Childhood Shyness we address the very important topic of shyness. If your child is shy, you may be wondering whether it is “just a phase” or something to be concerned about. What can you do for your child if he or she is showing signs of shyness? Hopefully our article will help!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Empathy and Self Esteem for Children

We all know what empathy is, but did you realize that there are some really easy, simple ways you can incorporate using it in your day-to-day interactions with your child, to powerfully build their self-esteem?
Check out this article for ideas and real-life examples:
Empathy and Self Esteem for Children

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Accountability and Goal Setting

One of the best ways for you and your child to reach your goals, is something called "Accountability". What this means is that you are taking responsibility for bringing your goal to fruition, and you cannot blame anyone else if your goal is not realized.

Once your child has a defined goal in mind and is committed to making it a reality, get him to start talking about it. It can be the subject of conversation at the dinner table or better yet, get him to talk about his goal and how it is progressing first thing in the morning over breakfast. Make sure that your child has plenty of time to get his things in order first or he may feel rushed and not be able to devote enough time to talking about his goal. This is a great time to share how things are going with your own goals and to gauge your progress. By talking about it with your family,you are asking for support from the people that care about your welfare and are going to support you in your quest. Do not talk about your goal with people that are not your family or a close friend because they may ridicule you and try and sabotage your efforts.

Happy Goal Setting,

Monicka

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Childhood Shyness

childhood shyness
Shyness can manifest itself for a myriad of reasons. Children are constantly being exposed to new experiences. Some children have trouble coping with anything new and tend to withdraw...

Check out our article Shyness in Children

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Child Eating Disorders


Child eating disorders are becoming increasing common. I've been particularly pleased to see that my step daughter, Sam, has started eating breakfast lately. As she only moved in with us aged 17, I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to try and force the issue, as her mother clearly had not minded whether she ate breakfast or not, but I always talked about breakfast positively and tried to set a positive example.

The clincher, I think, was when I said that it's a well known fact that people who eat breakfast are thinner than people who skip breakfast. I've noticed she's been eating cereal each morning ever since!

Might be worth mentioning to YOUR teen, if you're having problems in this area!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Child Eating Disorders Article

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Exercise for kids


Exercise for kids should be a high priority for parents these days. There are huge health benefits to getting a habit of regular exercise from an early age - not just for overweight children but for ALL children.

The generation of kids growing up today has, for the first time in many generations, a shorter life-expectancy than their parents. That fact alone should shock us into taking action and ensuring our kids get an appropriate amount of exercise!

Happy exercise with your kids!

Cassie

Friday, January 18, 2008

Sometimes it is best to say nothing.

In Thursday's blog I wrote about my frustration with my sixteen-year-old daughter, who did not want to continue working for the company that hired her after her work experience training program was finished. My husband and I both thought this was a really good opportunity for her to not only get some work experience, but also would be good in a social aspect as my daughter is Aspergian and has problems in that area. We finally gave up trying to convince her and dropped the subject, but she still continued to give us the cold shoulder.

Today was her last training day and I was expecting her to come home in a bad mood and was totally gobsmacked when she came in and told me she had decided to continue with the job but it was no thanks to my husband and I.

I guess when it comes to teens sometimes it is best to let them figure some things out for themselves. No matter how hard you try to convince them that something is a good idea and will benefit them, just because you want them to, may be all they need to reject the idea altogether.

I am over the moon that my daughter wants to continue with her job and will support her if and when she wants to try something else after she gets a bit more experience. I have learned the hard way that sometimes it is just better to say nothing and let your teen figure things out on their own.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Thursday, January 17, 2008

It's a frustrating job,but someone has to do it.

The person that came up with the quote "Raising a teenager is like nailing jello to the wall," was right on the money! Case in point; My daughter Savannah, who is in grade 11 started a work experience program yesterday. Because she has Asperger's her teachers were trying to find something that she would be able to do without having to have too much social contact with the public at the start, but could eventually work her way up to it, if she so desired. We were lucky to find just that kind of position and she was offered a spot a local Tim Horton's to do prep work and a bit of cleaning. It is kind of a coffee/donut/soup and sandwiches kind of place but extremely popular here in Canada. Yesterday was her first official training day and I could not wait until she came home to find out how she did and if she liked the job. I was thrilled when she walked through the door with a huge smile on her beautiful face saying she really liked the people and the day went really well. I was so proud of her and gushed about her to my Mother and my eldest daughter Kayla.

Something must have happened between yesterday and this morning, because my daughter woke up this morning and she was not a happy camper. I tried to cheer her up and commented on how cute her outfit looked on her and no sooner did I get the words out of my mouth she told me in no uncertain terms that it was just a three day work experience and she didn't want to work there. When I tried to question her as to why she changed her mind seemingly overnight, she clammed up and left for her job without saying a word to anyone in the family.

I know my daughter and try and give her as much support as possible because of her difficulty with social aspects, which is very common with kids on the Autism spectrum. The frustrating part of this is that she basically has been given a chance to work in a place where they are willing to be patient with her training as the owner's nephew also has an Autism Spectrum disorder. They are open to hiring special needs teenagers in order to give them a chance to get some real experience in the work force. My question is how to explain to my daughter what a great opportunity this is without making it sound like they feel sorry for her. She had this silly idea in her head just before the New Year, that the only reason anyone would want to talk to her was because they pitied her because of her Asperger's. Working with her speech therapist we were finally able to convince her that if someone spoke to her it was because they wanted to, not because they felt sorry for her. She seemed to finally get the message loud and clear and was starting to acknowledge her peers if they said hi to her, whereas before she would simply ignore tham, which was not gaining her any favor in their eyes. Teaching my daughter social skills has been a very long process and I was hoping that she could use this opportunity to meet new people and even make a few friends. Now this is not too be. I know my daughter and she can be extremely stubborn once she makes a decision about anything.

My daughter can be very frustrating at times like all teenagers, but I have to give her a little more slack than with my other children because of her struggles. With my daughter you cannot get upset with her because she will go from 0 to 100 in one second flat and lose her cool with anyone who tries to tell her she is not making a sound decision. She will then shut off sometimes for days and go into her own little world and refuse to speak to anyone. What is a parent to do? Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. I can hope she will come to the realization all on her own that she has been given an awesome opportunity and will want to continue working for this business on a long term basis, but I know my daughter and I will not hold my breath. All I can do is support whatever decision she makes whether I agree with it or not. It is not easy being the parent of a teenager at the best of times, but raising a teenager who has Asperger's can be twice as frustrating, take my word for it. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter with all my heart and would not want to change her for the world because she is my greatest teacher and my angel on earth and well worth any extra effort it may take to parent her.

Have you hugged your teen today???

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Keys to help your kids realize their goals.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to teach your kids to have a clear and concise plan when it comes to goal setting. A good way to start is to have them write everything down, they can be as wordy as they want when they are planning because details will help get your kids excited about their goals and putting emotion into it is a big part of realizing a goal. Once they know exactly what they want to realize, have them write out a clear and concise description of what they truly want as a goal and why they want it. This should be no more than two sentences if possible.

Now, you can explain to them that they need to set a deadline or time limit, because without that it is not a goal, it is only a dream. The deadline should be doable but also challenging and it should not be written in stone, teach your kids to always allow for a little wiggle room.

Finally, it is a good idea to set goals yourself and let your children know that you are working on a special goal and explain how you can support each other in bringing all of your goals to fruition.

Happy Goal setting,

Monicka

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Child Listening Skills

Child Listening Skills

Kids are learning all the time. During the early years, the opportunities that children have to learn various social skills are critical to their success and happinness later in life.

So, any opportunity that we as parents have to enable our kids to learn valuable social skills is worth grasping. Rather than just assume that your child will pick up good social skills by luck, why not consider actually taking and TEACHING your child certain important social skills?

Here is a valuable article on how you can help your child to improve his or her listening skills. The ideas in this article will stand your children in good stead throughout their lives!

Child Listening Skills

Monday, January 14, 2008

Take some time for yourself

I decided that since Monday is my usual blog day I will use that day to update my vacation ticker. I am really looking foward to this vacation as sometimes a Mom just needs to get away in order for the family to realize how much they depend on her. Since I was the one to always put myself last I decided that from now on I would put myself first. I have learned the hard way that in order for Mothers to give of themselves they have to start giving to themselves. Now this may seem like a selfish thing to do. but if every Mom realized how much they give to their husbands and children always sacrificing themselves for the good of the family sooner or later the well runs dry. In order to provide all the love and nurturing that we do for our family we need to make ourselves a priority and start filling up the well with things that we love. No one else is going to do it so we need to do this for ourselves.

The first time I left for the UK sans hubby and children I felt guilty, thinking that my family won't be able to cope while I am gone and they are going to suffer nutritionally and no one will have clean clothes to wear, but after awhile you start to realize that they will be just fine without you and when you come back you will be surprised how much they will appreciate you. Sure I came home to a messy house and a massive pile of dirty laundry but no one was too worse for wear. Your family can cope better then you think and you may find that this will be a good learning experience for them and will teach them about responsibility. Now I am not saying that you should leave when your kids are really young with your hubby when they are babies or preschoolers, but my two are sixteen and eleven and very responsible and Dad is very good at opeing a tin of beans and making toast. I know not everyone can just fly off for a vacation but even an hour to yourself to have a bubble bath or get into a juicy novel that you have been dying to read will be very therapeutic and will help to fill the well, make it a priority and the whole family will benefit because you will be refreshed and renewed and will be a better Mom than ever and that is very unselfish.




Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Choose your battles when it comes to teenagers.

I find that the relationship between my sixteen-year-old daughter and my husband has become strained lately. They seem to be able to push each other's buttons and cannot seem to have a civil conversation without it ending in an argument. I know that teenagers are very sensitive to criticism and even telling her to clean her room because it is getting a bit messy, is a touchy subject. You can ask until you are blue in the face and even threaten to take away computer privelages but all to no avail. I decided to choose my battles and if my daughter wanted to live in a messy room it was her room to do with as she may just as long as she kept the door closed so we couldn't see it. I then let the matter rest. My husband on the other hand continued to bug her about her messy room. This led to battle after battle with both sides never getting anywhere and causing lots of unrest for the rest of the family.

I finally had enough and sat down with my husband and told him that he was lucky that the biggest problem he had with his teenage daughter was that she had an unkept room. When you look at all of the kids her age that are smoking, doing drugs and even dealing with pregancy, we were pretty blessed to have a daughter who may be a bit obstinate at times but otherwise was a pretty good kid.

Think about this when your teenager does something you do not approve of, such as wanting to have blue hair or deciding they want to paint their room black. Is it really such a big deal? Is it really worth upsetting the whole house over something trivial. If it is not life threatening for the child or anyone else, let it go. It doesn't hurt to mention that you would like things to be different, but if the teen has his mind set, let it go. Save the battles for the big issues and don't sweat the small stuff.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Helping Your Child Make Friends

child friends
For some children, making friends comes naturally. These lucky kids are sociable individuals who have no trouble interacting with others. I always imagined that my husband Kevin was that kind of child - as an adult he can comfortably interact with anyone he meets, a gift he takes for granted as he has no concept of how it feels to be shy or poor at socializing. It was interesting for me to see how alike his daughter is - when she moved in with us aged 17, she made lots of new friends in no time. Perhaps there is a strong genetic element as they are very similar in their interactions with others.

For children who have a more shy, retiring or introverted personality, they may need more help in making friends. Check out this article on How to Help Your Child Make Friends for some ideas on making play dates successful and other ways of helping your child develop social skills and friendships.

Friday, January 11, 2008

How to Teach Your Child to Concentrate

child concentrating
Most children naturally possess the gift of concentration but sadly it is often lost in the process of growing up. Perhaps because we continually try to get them to concentrate on things that we want them to concentrate on rather than on the things that they want to concentrate on!

Successful people in all fields have the ability to concentrate - to "get in the flow" - at will. Watch a great sportsman, artist, writer or craftsperson at work and you will soon see that this is true.

How can we help our children learn concentration as the important skill that it is, rather than something that happens only when they are engrossed in play, computer games or worse, TV? How can we teach them the value of this skill so that they can use it to their benefit in school and in later life?

This article will give you ways to communicate to your child the importance and a true appreciation of how they concentrate, and how they can use the skill at will to make their lives more enjoyable, productive and successful:
How to Teach Your Child to Concentrate

Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Hobby for Your Kid


As we race ahead into a new year with all of its fresh challenges and fun to be had, you may be thinking about a new hobby for yourself and/or your kids.

For some ideas, check out this article: A Hobby for Your Kid

Happy New Year and Happy Parenting!

Cassie

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Reading to Kids


We all know the benefits of reading with our kids, I think the key is to develop a routine that doesn't put too much pressure on you, so that both you and the children can enjoy reading together to the max!

Here are some ideas for doing just that:

READING JUST FOR THE JOY OF IT

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Sleep and Success in School

Getting a good night's sleep is a key success factor to help your child do his best in school.

One of the really KEY elements in having your child sleep well is to restrict any exposure to screens after a certain time in the evening. An absolute MINIMUM of one hour before bed where no PC or TV is allowed is essential if you want your child to get the best possible sleep.

Screen work does not just have a bad effect on sleep because it is interesting and keeps your child awake because he's enjoying the film or the computer game. The frequency of light from a screen causes brain alertness on a fundamental level and will reduce the quality of sleep if a child is exposed to it close to bed time.

Happy sleeping and school success!

Cassie

Monday, January 07, 2008

Early to bed.....

Well, Christmas holidays are over and the kids are back to school. It was really tough getting them to go to sleep early last night as my two were still in late night holiday mode on Sunday night and so I had two sleepy heads at the breakfast table this morning. Well at least they should be tired enough to hit the sack at a reasonable time tonight.

I know that Cassie believes in proper sleep hygiene for everyone but how many of us know why we need to sleep? I did a bit of research and this is what I found.

Sleep helps the body to recuperate from the day's activities and restores the bodies energy supplies. This is also the time that the body repairs itself. Sleep also restores our mental energy, all that thinking we do all day uses up our stores and while we sleep that energy is restored for the next day.

Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that not getting enough sleep affects our thinking, we may still be able to do the things that are required of us but not as efficiently and definitely not as quickly. So take my dear friends advice and get your kids to bed earlier they will thank you by getting better grades.

Happy Zzzzzzzs,
Monicka



Sunday, January 06, 2008

A New Year With New Goals

I have set a few goals for 2008 and I am going to follow a set plan to realize them. One of my goals is to finish the course I am working on before I leave for the UK. To do this I am going to have to set aside a block of time everyday where I do nothing but work on my course and study for the exam. It takes a lot of discipline to give up some of the frivolous stuff such as watching TV or spending time surfing the web.

One of the best ways to help you to accomplish your goals is to hold yourself accountable. Tell a supportive friend what you need to do and have them check up on you from time to time to see if you are in fact following through. You can ask your kids if you can help them to keep on track but don't become pushy or they will lose interest. Sit down with your child and make a plan on how you can be supportive without becoming a nag.

Happy Goal Setting,
Monicka


Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Importance of Friendship for Your Children

This is going to be an awesome year for me because in a few months I will be leaving for the UK to see Cassie. We have developed a very close friendship in the almost three years we have known each other. We met online on a forum and hit it off and in 2006 I flew to the UK and met her in person. She returned the favour in April of 2007by coming to visit me in Canada and now I am once again off to spend time with her in England.

Even though we are not able to see each other in person very much we have continued to develop a strong friendship and we usually chat everyday on msn. All I can say is thank God for technology for without it we would never have met.

Cassie is an integral part of my life, as she supports me and lets me vent when I need to and is always willing to lend a helping hand if need be. Friendship is important for your children too and if you have concerns that your child may be having problems making friends there is a lot that you can do to remedy that situation. Check out our website at kidsgoals.com for parenting tips on helping your children to make friends.




Happy Parenting,
Monicka

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Goal Setting with Kids - Step by Step


Justin's goal of saving for a laptop that Monicka blogged about yesterday was a great example of how exciting goal setting can be for kids.

Monicka mentioned the importance of breaking a large goal down into smaller steps and I thought that this aspect is really worth thinking about.

At the ripe old age of 34, I find that a year is now a relatively short time. But I have not forgotten a time when a month seemed impossibly long! Do you find the same, as you get older?

Be sure to realize that when you guide your child in goal setting, it is absolutely crucial that he starts to have small successes early on. For example, once Justin has figured out exactly how much money he needs to save, that can be broken down into very small increments. If he gets his allowance weekly and his Dad can take him to the bank to deposit a few dollars, he will get regular, frequent feelings of achievement.

Early successes are essential for your child to build up a positive association with goal setting.

Happy New Year and happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Patience and Goal Setting

Patience is a virtue and one that is a big part of goal setting. You have to realize that most of your goals, at least the ones worth having, are not going to happen overnight. Now it would be nice to wake up 20 pounds thinner or with rippling abs but it ain't gonna happen, so relax and look at your goals as something definitely worth waiting for and teach this to your children.

The best way to teach your children this is to explain to them that each goal takes a series of steps and whatever they want to realize can be broken down into smaller goals that will eventually help them to obtain the big kahuna.

My son, for instance, has decided that he wants a lap top computer. Now since he only has a little over $90 in the bank he knows that he has to find a way to increase the amount until he has enough to buy his computer. I had him write down what it is he wanted, what it looked like and how he would feel when he obtained his goal.

He said wouldn't have to fight for use of the family computer when he had homework assignments or wanted to play his online games. He said he would feel very proud for having something that he worked for himself and happy that it was all his.

We then looked at how long, within reason it would take for him to save enough to get his laptop. It is very important to help your child to set a deadline as to when he wants to accomplish his goal. It must be doable but not so far into the future that your child loses all hope. Have him write down when he would like to reach his goal but let him know that nothing is written in stone and he may get it sooner or it may take a little longer so the deadline is just to give him an idea of how long it should take, but he is always welome to change it.

We then made a list of all of the ways he could earn extra money other than his allowance and he could also ask for cash as opposed to gifts for his birthday or other special occasions where he would normally get some kind of gift or treat. The next step is to find a picture of the computer he wants a put it somewhere where he can see it every day. I also suggested that he read out loud what he had written every morning and every night and then close his eyes and imagine how it would feel like to have his computer and to try and feel those emotions.

Goal setting is something that you can start with your child at an early age. Better yet set goals that you can accomplish together, make it a family affair if you can and get everyone excited about it by making it the topic of conversation everyday. For more goal setting ideas check out www.kids goals.com

Happy Goal Setting

Monicka

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year Goal Setting with Your Kids

Happy New Year to all kids and parents!

A fresh year and some fresh goal setting with your kids! What a great opportunity to set some exciting goals for yourself, and show your children how to do the same. Children learn by example and what better example can you set than by showing them how to set goals?

For ideas of things to help your children set goals include, check out "IDEAS FOR SETTING NEW YEARS GOALS WITH YOUR KIDS"

Happy parenting,

Cassie

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