Sunday, September 30, 2007

Homework Help for Kids - Breaks


Homework help for kids - Breaks


The brain learns and remembers best the stuff at the beginning and at the end of study periods. So breaking up study into chunks is a good idea - it’s important to train your child to take regular breaks from homework to get the most out of it.


And even more importantly, to train them in the difference between “good” and “bad” breaks.What do I mean by a “bad” break? Well if your child sits in front of his homework fidgeting for half an hour then says “I’m giving up for a bit,” and goes and watches TV for the next 30 minutes, that is not good study hygiene and I’d call that a “bad” break!


Here are some points to bear in mind to encourage your child to take “good” breaks from homework:·



  • Use breaks, where possible, to reward yourself for completing a goal, either a milestone, like getting to the end of a section of questions, or a time-related goal like completing 15 minutes of intense revision

  • Make sure that very young children take breaks after brief periods of study, while older children can work for 30 or even 60 minutes, depending on their individual needs

  • Breaks only need to be a few minutes long – this is long enough to give the brain a chance to absorb what it has just learned and get ready for more!

  • Breaks should revitalize you for your next study period, not sap your energy! Watching TV is an energy-sapping break and should be avoided.

Good breaks might include:



  • A refreshing or soothing drink

  • A light snack

  • Some brief physical exercise to get the blood flowing – perhaps half a dozen star jumps

  • Stepping outside and taking some refreshing breaths of fresh air

Happy homework helping with your kids!


Cassie

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Homework Help for Kids - Reward Charts

Homework Help for Kids - Reward Charts

If a child has developed a negative attitude to homework for whatever reason, a reward chart could be a useful tool to help them get things back onto a good footing.

Every day that your child sticks to the new routine for homework, they should get a “point” on the reward chart.

For primary school children, make sure they are rewarded on the same day – with a pretty sticker and lots of praise, for instance – as well as a special end-of-week reward, maybe an outing to their favorite park, or a small toy.

Older children can delay their gratification a little more – so you could arrange for them to earn a “DVD and friends round” evening, or whatever does it for them, once they complete a week or two of their new homework routine. Tailor it to their age and their interests.

Happy homework help with your kids!

Cassie

Friday, September 28, 2007

Homework Help for Kids - Routine

Homework Help - A Helpful Routine

Rather than doing their homework at random times of the day, why not help your children to find the routine that suits them best? Some kids, just like adults, are at their best in the morning, and for these kids getting up a bit earlier and having a regular homework time in the morning before school can be nice.

Many kids will find an afternoon or evening homework routine more comfortable, and in this case it’s important to make sure that they have an opportunity to get rested before starting their homework, especially if they have been doing sports at school. If on the other hand they tend to be full of pent-up energy after school, then some physical exercise would be just the thing they need to wind down from school in a more energetic way.

In either case, a healthy, light snack is a good idea – it’s a long time between lunch and dinner, and the energy from food will help your kids with their brainwork.

Happy and successful homework help with your kids!

Cassie

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Help!! My child hits other children!!

Dear Monicka

The Kidsgoals newsletter is really helping me to deal with my children.
Your tips are really great .

I have a son who is 2 and half years old and has got in to the habit of
hitting others . I am a working woman and I am not able to spend time with him, to
understand his problem.


Can you please give me advice on how to deal with him?????

Regards

S


Dear S

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments about kidsgoals. Cassie and I
are always thrilled to hear from our readers.

I think your son is starting to discover his power and by hitting other
people he is trying to see what kind of reaction he can get. He is testing
the waters to see how others will react when he hits them. Because children
your son's age do not understand that other people may have other ideas
about his experimenting. He thinks that if he enjoys hitting, than everyone
else must be thrilled about it also. After all the only concept he has right
now is that he understands how he feels and not anyone else as they have yet to develope empathy.

Toddlers are totally fascinated when they hit and cause someone to cry or watch you get
upset. They get a reaction even if it is not always a positive one and they
may test it again and again to see if they can get the same result.
Children like to do things over and over in order to cause a predictable
outcome. Think of the child in the high chair that will drop his cup on the
floor many many times and watch you pick it up over and over again and
totally delight in the control he has over the outcome. That kind of gives
you an idea why any child will continue to hit.

He is learning as he goes, but sometimes it make take a little while to get
the message that even though he is enjoying hitting, other people are not so
happy about it. It can take a bit of time as there is a lot to learn when it
comes to understanding what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior and
how other people are feeling. Keep in mind that your son is learning how to
communicate with his peers. Being a parent you need to be as supportive and
understanding as possible while he is going through this development stage.

It is good to offer another way to him when he hits. Because he is trying to
communicate and get his point across you can take him aside and show him
gently that there is a better way. You can phrase it to him in a simple way
such as if he hits because he wants a toy another child has to say, "toy
please" or some other way he understands depending on your son's vocabulary.

Try and comfort whoever he hits and maybe have your child help by getting a
cold cloth or ice pack and hold it to the injured area so he sees that he
made an owie or boo boo (or whatever word you use with him when he is
injured) and it hurt and he needs to help the other child feel better.
Always tell him that he hurt someone and they are crying because of what he
did and also that they are not happy.

If possible try and anticipate when he is about to hit someone by making
sure whoever is watching him is keeping a watchful eye on him. If you can
stop the behavior in its tracks before the damage is done and show him
alternative ways to get his message across he will learn a lot quicker.

Hope that helps

Cheers, Monicka

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Dear Frustrated Mom

This letter came from a lady who really needed our help. She had struck her child and felt awful for doing it. Unfortunately this happens more often than not and while no one should ever strike a child, no parent is perfect but if you have problems controlling your anger around your child it is important to get help IMMEDIATELY!!

Hi.

I read about your site and subscribe to your newsletter.

My child does not listen. He is 8 years old. He wakes up late for school, I have to remind him to do almost everything and repeat instructions to him all the time.
He is a pleasant child but just NEVER listens and NEVER follows through with things unless he is told over and over again.
This morning, I slapped him across the face because I was so angry with him and he was left with a small blood nose. I feel awful and feel like the worst parent. what can I do to help myself and him. How can I be a better parent.
Please help.
I never want to hit him or yell at him again.

Dear Frustrated Mom

First of all I want you to take a few deep breaths and then tell yourself that you are not a bad parent but there are much better ways to deal with your son and when you know better you will do better. Forgive yourself and lets try a new approach with your eight –year- old. I want you to promise me that if it ever gets so bad that you feel like you might strike your son that you will walk away, leave the room and compose yourself for however long it takes until your anger has lessened to the point that you can face your boy with a level head. That said, let’s talk about what else you can do.

Being a Mom is not an easy job at the best of times and I am not going to offer you a quick solution as your child is not going to change overnight but if you follow my advice, you will soon find that your child has changed his behavior and for the better. It will be a bit of work but well worth it and the bonus is you will have a much better relationship with your child so it is a win/ win all around.

Your child is misbehaving and refusing to listen because he wants to get your attention and it doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative to him your attention is like a gift and he will use whatever means he has to make sure he gets enough of it. Because any attention is better than no attention from you, your son is not listening to you when you ask nicely time and time again. When you are finally at the end of your rope and you start to yell and get excited, he thinks Aha! Now I have Mom's undivided attention and this is how I get it. So what you have to do is show him that when he misbehaves he will not get the attention he craves so desperately from you. Instead, look for the times when he is being a good boy and lavish attention on him. Praise him for getting dressed or hanging up his coat without being asked. Hug him
and say, "You are an awesome kid for hanging up your coat, thank you so
much!!!" He doesn't have to do anything monumental to get your praise and
hugs, anything small will do and make sure he knows you are sincere.

Please keep in mind that this is going to take a bit of extra work on
your part because you have to constantly be aware of what your child is
doing. You will be surprised how fast your boy will clue in that when he
is good he gets lots of attention and hugs and when he misbehaves, not so
much. When his behavior is bad there must be a consequence, such as a
favourite toy or video game taken away for a day or he can't watch
television or play with his friend. It has to be something he will really
miss. At your child's age time outs don't seem to work. I find that by
losing something my children really likes for a bit they get the message
loud and clear that the behavior will NOT be tolerated and there will be
a consequence to their action. You must be firm and look them in the eye
but do not under any circumstances get excited or upset and yell. Use a
tone of voice that says you mean what you say and follow through on your
promise. DONOT let him talk you out of losing the privilege even if he
says he promises to do better if you don't take his toy or game or
whatever away. Make sure you walk the talk or he will learn how to
manipulate you and totally lose respect for you. You are his parent and
you are here to teach him that he will be rewarded for good behavior and
his bad behavior will have a consequence. It is important that you say
you are not pleased with the behavior but you still love him and NEVER call
him a bad boy. This method is called Positive Reinforcement and it works
like a charm if you work it. The change will not happen overnight but if
you are consistent you will be surprised at how quickly your son's
behavior will change for the better.

Please talk to a professional if you feel that your anger is getting the best of you. No one will think badly of you, in fact they will commend you for wanting to do what is best for your son. No parent is perfect and we all do things that we may regret later when it comes to our children. Try and spend some quality time with your child even if it is only ten minutes a day if it is quality that is what counts.

I really appreciate your email and I hope this helps. Cassie and I have
written two articles on the kidsgoals website that will give you even more
information about discipline and the positive reinforcement technique one
is called Effective Loving Discipline and the other one is Positive
Reinforcement.

Hope that helps. Keep in touch and let us know how it all works out for you.
All the best.

Happy Parenting :-)

Monicka

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Kidsgoals Advice Column

Cassie and I are always thrilled when we receive email from our readers. This email came from a lady that we will call V to protect her anonymity.

Dear Monicka

I have a eight year boy and I just can not get him to listen to me. I try
talking in a nice low voice I try encouragement and then there are days I
just yell because I just don't know what to do.....he is a bright boy but
wants to do what he wants when he wants...my other son did not fully mature
until he was 12.........do I have 4 more years to go or what??????????

From V

This seems to be a common problem with parents. They try talking softly asking nicely all to no avail, and before they know it they have reached the end of their tether and the only thing left to do is yell.

Dear V

Thank you so much for your email and question. Cassie and I love getting
feedback from our subscribers and will try and help with parenting advice
when we can. While parenting is never a one size fits all and some things
may work better than other things depending on the child, I think that in
this case the following advice may be just the ticket for your dilemma.

Being a Mom is not an easy job at the best of times V and
sometimes we find that yelling seems to be the only quick solution to
get your child’s attention. Keep in mind that this parenting technique
has consequences. What tends to happen is that initially the yelling
will work and then you will soon find that the yelling seems to be the
only way to get your son's attention and then slowly but surely your son
will start to even tune out the yelling. Kids want attention and to them
it doesn't matter if it is positive attention or negative attention.
What you have to realize is that attention from you is like a present to
your boy and he will use whatever means he has to make sure he gets
enough of it.

Because any attention is better than no attention from you, your son is
not listening to you when you ask nicely time and time again. When you are
finally at the end of your rope and you start to yell and get excited, he
thinks Aha! Now I have Mom's undivided attention and this is how I get it.
So what you have to do is show him that when he misbehaves he will not get
the attention he craves so desperately from you. Instead, look for the
times when he is being a good boy and lavish attention on him. Praise him
for getting dressed or hanging up his coat without being asked. Hug him
and say, "You are an awesome kid for hanging up your coat, thank you so
much!!!" He doesn't have to do anything monumental to get your praise and
hugs, anything small will do and make sure he knows you are sincere.

Please keep in mind that this is going to take a bit of extra work on
your part because you have to constantly be aware of what your child is
doing. You will be surprised how fast your boy will clue in that when he
is good he gets lots of attention and hugs and when he misbehaves, not so
much. When his behavior is bad there must be a consequence, such as a
favorite toy or video game taken away for a day or he can't watch
television or play with his friend. It has to be something he will really
miss. At your child's age time outs don't seem to work. I find that by
losing something my child really likes for a bit they get the message
loud and clear that the behavior will NOT be tolerated and there will be
a consequence to their action. You must be firm and look them in the eye
but do not under any circumstances get excited or upset and yell. Use a
tone of voice that says you mean what you say and follow through on your
promise. DONOT let him talk you out of losing the privilege even if he
says he promises to do better if you don't take his toy or game or
whatever away. Make sure you walk the talk or he will learn how to
manipulate you and totally lose respect for you. You are his parent and
you are here to teach him that he will be rewarded for good behavior and
his bad behavior will have a consequence. It is important that you say
you are not pleased with the behavior but you still love him. NEVER call
him a bad boy.This method is called Positive Reinforcement and it works
like a charm if you work it. The change will not happen overnight but if
you are consistent you will be surprised at how quickly your son's
behavior will change for the better.

I really appreciate your email and I hope this helps. Cassie and I have
written two articles on the kidsgoals website that will give you even more
information about discipline and the positive reinforcement technique one
is called Effective Loving Discipline and the other one is Positive
Reinforcement.

Hope that helps. Keep in touch and let us know how it works out for you.
All the best.

Happy Parenting :-)

Monicka

Monday, September 24, 2007

Kidsgoals Advice Column

Cassie and I often receive email from our subscribers for parenting advice. Now I am by no means a professional at parenting and have learned most of my tricks of the trade from trial and error. They say the proof is in the pudding and all four of my kids, two twenty somethings a sixteen -year- old and a ten-year-old have turned out to be so far (knock on wood) basically happy, well adjusted, independent and very goal oriented individuals.

Now I cannot take all the credit for these great kids as I did have help from the children's Fathers (married twice) but I would say as a mostly stay at home Mom, I did spend more time with them, so I will take most of the credit. I learned a great deal from each child and when something did not work with one, I tried something else with the next one until I found a way that seemed to work.

Cassie and I have mutually decided that for the next little while we will post these questions as well as the advice given on our blog so that someone who may be having a similar parenting problem may hopefully find some helpful advice.

Happy Parenting

From Cassie and Monicka

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Getting Your Kids Organized for Goal Setting


Now that the kids are back at school, it is a great time to help them to learn to be organized both with their homework and with their goal setting! Here are some ideas to start you off:


1. Give your child a corkboard. Corkboards are fabulous goal setting tools! You can quickly and easily stick up photos cut out of magazines, sketches or notes to do with your goals. It's a place to keep anything that relates to your goal quickly rather than it hiding in a pile of papers on the desk.


2. Teach your child to break goals into sub-goals and tasks. One of the key skills for goal setting is breaking a big goal down into manageable "bites". If you teach your child to have a proper checklist or to-do list for each goal, it will seem much more attainable.


3. Have a special place for goal setting. Every child should have a place that they feel is their own where they can have peace and quiet. It's essential for effective and productive homework and that place is ideal for spending time planning how to achieve their goals as well.


Watch out for our parent newsletter article coming soon on Getting organized for Goal Setting.


Cyberhugs,


Cassie

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Child At Play



This is a picture of my adorable nephew Jacob playing on the beach.



I love the way children are so welcoming. If you're willing to play with them they will be perfect hosts and entertain you for hours on end!

After we visited Jacob and his family, I missed playing with him so much I wrote this: Child At Play

Friday, September 21, 2007

Helping Your Child Make Friends

Having friends is an important way for children to learn social skills. We all want our children to develop lasting friendships but if your child is a bit shy and seems reluctant to make friends sometimes a little help from Mom or Dad is in order.


Click here to read the article on Helping your Child make Friends

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Parenting with Positive Role Models

Children - teenagers as well as youngsters - naturally look for role models to shape their attitudes and behaviors. As parents, it is important for us to make sure that they have plenty of POSITIVE role models.

There are enough negative role models surrounding our children - and much of the adult world, if not negative, is at best apathetic and mediocre. If we don't actively focus on positive role models, then these other ones can dampen our children's natural enthusiasm and optimism.

Ideas to help your child focus on positive role models.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Expectations and their effect on how children succeed

I read a magazine story today about a young woman who had grown up in a rough downtown estate. As a child, she attended a poor school where there was little in the way of encouragement and nothing - for her - in the way of friendship. She was a conscientious, studious child which she says made her as popular as "a bogeyman with typhoid".

This brave girl fought free of her roots and is now a successful writer. But what struck me the most in her story was the comment that what really scarred her about her childhood was "how little was expected of us." It reminded me of this poignant story about the effect of expectations on how well children do:

At the beginning of the year, the Principal called four teachers in to his office and told them, "Because of your outstanding performance over the years, we have selected you as the four very best teachers in this school. To reward you for your excellent teaching ability, we have chosen four classes of children who have been shown, in tests, to have the highest IQs in the whole school.

"To each of you we have assigned a class of these very bright children, for you to teach for the whole year. Now, we want you to teach using the exact same methods that you have used in the past. Neither the children nor their parents know anything about this streamlining, and we need to keep it that way, so nothing is to be said to the children about the fact that they have been selected to be in these special classes."

At the end of the year, it was found that the children in the four classes had not only outperformed the rest of the school, but were among the top performers in the whole district. The Principal called in the teachers, and, after commenting on how well they had done, asked them how they had found the children to teach.

The teachers enthusiastically described the children as very intelligent, very eager to learn and so on. Imagine their surprise to hear that the children had not in fact been tested for IQ, but were simply a random sample! And then imagine their disappointment when they found out that their own names had been drawn out of a hat - they had not been chosen as the best teachers after all!

The Principal’s expectations of the teachers, when he told them that they were the best teachers in the school, and the expectations the teachers had of the children, though unspoken, combined to give a dramatic result!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Child Eating Disorders

Child eating disorders are on the rise, and there is no evidence that the higher profile and awareness of issues such as anorexia and bulimia are doing anything to combat the problem.

As parents, we need to proactively build our children's self esteem and help them develop a positive body image.

Encourage children to find things to like about themselves, and also to notice that the people they admire and love are not necessarily physically perfect. Our human differences and imperfections should be celebrated, not hidden shamefully.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Autism and autism-related disorders

Autism and autism-related disorders have been attributed to many causes, but so far there is not a proven causal factor.

A new UK study by Professor Simon Baron-Cohen of Cambridge University has shown that if unborn babies are exposed to higher than normal levels of the hormone testosterone during pregnancy, they may have an above average chance of being diagnosed with autism later on.

While the studies fall far short of proving a causal link, this theory merits further investigation. Earlier studies have also demonstrated that prenatal testosterone levels have an effect on brain development in animals.

Full story http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/09/11/sciaut111.xml

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Goal Setting for Kids

It's not a Goal Without a Deadline!

We can say from costly experience that a goal without a deadline rarely gets completed. A deadline generates the motivation necessary for you to get yourself to take action. It's also an excuse for a celebration!

Have fun goal setting with your kids, and always remember that every single time that you take your child through the process of :

1. Setting a goal

2. Taking some action

3. Recognizing the result that he achieves

... you are building on his innate ability to succeed in all kinds of ways in the future - throughout his childhood and as an adult.

Cassie

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Goal Setting for Kids

Goals Must be Exclusive

The basic rule is "One goal at a time!" It is better to set oneself single-mindedly to achieving one goal first and then the other, rather than dividing one's attentions between two equally important goals. Like the old Native American saying “An eagle that chases two rabbits catches neither.”

Having said that, it is desirable to have goals in different aspects of life – school and hobbies for instance – as long as they don’t compete or interfere with each other.

In addition, your child’s long-term goal will often be made up of numerous short-term goals to be completed one after the other. Bear in mind that, for many children, a month may seem like "long term", while an adult's set of goals may be spread over the next five or more years. So don't expect your child to see his day-to-day goals as a means to accomplishing something when he's grown up! A few children really do have a very clear idea of what they want to do in life, but they are in the minority.

The main point is to make sure that you never have two goals that are competing with one another. For instance, your child might have a goal of improving at school, split up into different topics, with one topic covered by each day of the week. In addition, he might have a goal of getting better at his chosen sport. This would not compete with the time he needs to devote to his schoolwork, and the two are compatible.

So it might be better to state the one-at-a-time rule in clearer terms: "Do not have more than one goal competing with each other for time, concentration or any other commodity."

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Friday, September 14, 2007

Goal Setting for Kids

Goals Must be Believable

Many of us need to gradually build up confidence when goal setting. If the first goal we set ourselves is too ambitious, we have difficulty believing that we can achieve it. So don't try to build Rome in a day, and don't encourage your child to set goals that are too demanding initially.

My little friend Charlene, working towards her goal of getting better at math, understood this principle immediately. She had chosen to measure her progress by the number of "red circles" (wrong answers) that she got on her math worksheets.

"I would like to have no red circles at all,” said Charlene. "But I don't think I can do that."

Instead, Charlene planned to reduce the occurrence of red circles by 25% over three weeks.

Happy goalsetting with your kids,

Cassie

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Goal Setting for Kids

Goals Must be Measurable

When you are pursuing a goal, there is nothing more frustrating than not knowing whether or not you are getting any closer to attaining it. So it's important to teach your child to set goals for which he can clearly identify his starting point and his ending point, and for which there will be evidence, as he works on his goal, that he is progressing.

For example, if your child wants to improve his reading skills, ask him how he will know if he is on the right track - how is he going to know if he's getting better? The difficulty is that most modern primary schools give the children little feedback in the form of specific marks. Usually, children are assessed very subjectively: "James read well today" in the margin of his exercise book may give brief pleasure, but tells James very little about how exactly he is progressing. So really it's up to you, the parent.

One suggestion might be that you would ask James to read a chapter from a book he chooses, each week. You could then time him, and set 10 questions at the end to test his comprehension. The two of you could then create a graph showing James' reading speed and one showing his comprehension, measured as the percentage of questions answered correctly. Most children get very excited as they see the graph, over a period, getting closer and closer to the level that they have assigned as their goal.

Happy Goal Setting with your Kids,

Cassie

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Goal Setting for Kids

The more specific the goal, the clearer is the message to the subconscious brain.

To take a very mundane example, imagine that your child comes to you and says: "I wish I had a bigger bedroom!” You might respond by asking questions to find out exactly what the problem is - for instance, perhaps another bookshelf is required, or the closet needs an overhaul to create more space. Then you will have taken the first step in turning that wish into a goal.

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Cooking with Your Child - Ants on a Log!

Cooking with your child....


ANTS ON A LOG
(easy to prepare snack for the little ones)

INGREDIENTS:
Celery Stick
Peanut Butter
Raisins

PREPARATION:
A very simple snack idea! Fill the center of the celery stick with peanut butter. Place a few raisins on top to be your ants. Eat and enjoy!

Happy cooking with your kids!

Cassie

Monday, September 10, 2007

COOKING WITH YOUR CHILD- EASY BANANA BREAD

Easy and Fun Banana Bread to Cook with Your Child:

3 large mashed bananas
½ cup brown sugar
1 1/2 cup whole-wheat flour
½ tsp. Salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 egg
Walnuts (optional)

Add all to the bowl: mix: Put in loaf pan and bake at 350 F oven for 40-45 minutes. Test for doneness by inserting toothpick in centre when it comes out dry it is done. Enjoy.

Happy cooking with your child!

Cassie

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Think before you speak

During a conversation today about something traumatic that Cassie had experienced recently, it twigged something in me and brought back a memory that I had long since buried, or at least thought I had. The experience happened when I was sixteen and I have never told a living soul about it until today. While I was describing what happened to Cassie I realized that I was starting to feel very sad and even started to cry. It was as if I was reliving the experience all over again and my body was reacting the same way it did almost 30 years ago. Obviously it was hard wired into my psyche and retelling the story brought back not only the memory in vivid detail but also the pain.

Think about this when it comes to your children and how something you can say without thinking can be taken to heart and cause irreparable damage to a small child's self esteem. It can be the start of a seed that is planted and it may grow and fester in your child for years to come, maybe even into their adulthood like my experience did for me.

We may not always be able to protect our child from other people who choose to berate them and whittle down their fragile ego but we can help them to build up a suit of protective armor to help weather the storm of childhood. You have the power as a parent to help instill confidence by the words you choose. Think before you speak to your child or teen and if you happen to say something out of anger, remember nobody is perfect and we all things we wish we could take back. You may not be able to take it back but you can make sure that your child doesn't take it to heart by apologizing and explaining that what you said was spoken out of anger and you are very sorry you said it and you really didn't mean it. You can tell them that you don't like the behavior they chose and that is what caused you to get mad, but you still love them and always will no matter what!! Every child needs to hear those words, so take the time to say it. Don't let your pride get in the way and ruin your chance to change something that in a split second can make a world of difference to how your child learns to feel about himself.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Goal setting 101

I noticed that my now sixteen year old Aspergian daughter was looking quite perplexed as she tried to comprehend what her teacher expected her to do for a Earth Science Project. She was to create a 5 page brochure like they would have at a college or university promoting a certain field in Earth Science, and she chose geologist. She was waiting for me to help her and I suggested that she start with the title page which was supposed to be covered with pictures related to her chosen field of study. She kept asking asking me to help her start and I kept telling her to start working on the title page but she really didn't seem to know how to begin. Finally I sat down with her and helped her fold the brochure and slowly piece together where the pictures and information should go. She was surprised that once she saw it broken down page by page, how doable it really was.

That pretty much goes for any goal or project that you want to accomplish. If you look at the big picture like my daughter did, it can be a bit daunting. Once you break it down into smaller steps you will realize that it can be done. No matter what it is try taking it one step at a time. For instance if weight loss is your goal and you want to lose that last 10 -15 pounds, that may seem like it will take forever but start with something small like make a pledge to exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes 7 days a week. You don't have to worry about anything else except for the added exercise. You can switch the type of exercise so it doesn't get boring just as long as you exercise every day. According to scientific research it takes about 21 days to form a habit so in 21 days you are well on your way to a regular exercise habit, now you can say for the next 21 days I will eat more fruits and veggies, then once that habit has become established you can say now I will cut out all refined carbs and sugar products.. Once that too becomes a habit you can add another small goal for 21 days and before you know it you have accomplished your goal of losing 30 pounds.

Happy Goalsetting

Monicka

Friday, September 07, 2007

Money management for kids

Hello all parents,

With the start of the new school year comes the opportunity to give your growing child new responsibilities. Learning to handle money is a very important lesson, and if this is something your children are ready to start getting some experience with, you may be interested in some of the resources on the kids goals website:

An introductory worksheet on Money management for kids
Money management for kids article
Chores and allowances article

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Brilliant Solution to Child Sleep Problems

How about this charming story a KidsGoal's subscriber shared with us, regarding her solution to the "MOM! DAD! I can't sleep!" problem?

Shelly, aged 4, started insisting on her parents staying with her until she fell asleep after her big sister moved into a room of her own.

Soon growing tired of this routine, they came up with a rather unusual solution, in the form of a goldfish. A charming little aquarium was installed, and Nemo the Goldfish moved in onto Shelly's dresser. As an extra bonus, the fish tank had uplighters that helped Natalie feel reassured in the dark.

Not only did this ingenious idea solve the family's nighttime problems, but being responsible for Nemo taught Shelly lots of useful lessons, as pets do!

Check out article, The Family Pet, for more ideas.

Happy parenting :))


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Making Friends, and Keeping School Fun for Your Kids

If you have a young one just starting school, what a terrific opportunity to get them off onto the right footing as you teach them to enjoy going to school and regard it as play, not work.

Doing this can simply be a case of approaching each new day with a little extra enthusiasm yourself. If you can help your child go to school looking forward to the day rather than allowing them to pick up a bad habit that so many of us adults have, the "I hate Mondays" syndrome, then you will be potentially giving them a gift for life!

Friends can be a very special part of your child's school life, so if your child is a little shy or needs some help making friends, you might want to check out Monicka's tips:

Helping your child make friends

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Goal Setting for the New School Year

The start of a new school year is a great time to do some goal setting with your child.
Some things to bear in mind when helping your children set goals include:
1) Be careful when suggesting deadlines or time limits. When we get to the age where the months seem to fly by, it's easy to forget what time feels like to a child. Remember when two weeks seemed like an impossibly long time? Be sensitive to the age of your child when talking with him about time frames.
2) Have your children write their goals down – or help them with that if they are too young. Write down not only the goal itself, but also WHY it's important and what it will LOOK LIKE when it's achieved.
3) As much as possible, let your children be the ones to come up with the ideas for their own goals. If you need to make suggestions, be as sensitive as you can to their age and interests. Be especially sensitive about the "size of the goal". Children need to have big goals broken down into mini-goals so that they can see progress quickly, preferably on a daily basis. A goal to learn to spell five new words a week is better to focus on than winning the national Spelling Bee!
4) Work on the goal with your child – but don't take over! Make sure that your child can sense your interest and support, but be careful she doesn't think that you want to do it for her.
5) Set a good example by having written goals of your own and let your children see you working towards them regularly.

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Monday, September 03, 2007

Children and Language

It's commonly accepted that young children learn languages - foreign ones as well as their native language! - more easily than adults.

But did you know that studies have shown that children under the age of five actually have a strong disposition to learning by sounds - in preference to visual learning?

Says Vladimir Sloutsky, professor in Cognitive Science at Ohio University, "Adults generally prefer visual information if they have the choice. But if you want to get the attention of young children, sounds are generally more effective than pictures if the sounds and pictures have equal interest."

Happy talking with your children!

Cassie

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen

It is so hard to believe that my little girl is turning sixteen today. I have watched her grow into a a beautiful (inside and out) caring and talented young person. Life has not always been easy for her because of her Aspergers but she perseveres and tries to do her best no matter what.

She will be going into grade eleven and I know she is feeling a bit stressed about how she is going to fit in with the other students. Her teachers have always been supportive although she still has problems making friends with the other students. Luckily she has never been bullied by any of her classmates and they are friendly to a point but by the same token they do not reach out to her in friendship. She has been hurt by a so-called friend in the past and so is very wary about letting her guard down.

My biggest hope for her as she enters a new school year is that people will see her in a new light and appreciate her for the awesome person that she is. She has a huge heart and I know she would be a loyal and caring friend to anyone who gave her a chance.

Happy Birthday Sweet Savannah I am very proud to call you my daughter.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Problems Making Friends

Not all kids are good at making friends and sometimes parents may need to lend a helping hand. Have a talk with your child's teacher and see how your child is with his classmates or better yet ask if you can volunteer as a helper and observe for yourself how your child treats other children and more important how other children treat your child.

Some kids may have low self esteem or are quite shy and may need help developing their social skills. You can talk to your child's school to see if they offer special buddy programs for shy kids or programs to help build your child's self esteem and help to hone their social skills. If they don't offer anything like that they they may know where you can access such things.

It is important to talk to your child and ask how he is feeling with the friendships he has or if he feels like there are problems in that area. Your child usually won't volunteer such information so it is a good idea to ask lots of questions. You can even ask how your child feels about himself. If you have serious concerns about your child's lack of self esteem, it may be a good idea to talk to a professional.

For more ideas on How to Help Your Child Make Friends!

Happy Parenting

Monicka

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