Kids and Exercise

As the exam season approaches for kids here in the UK, it might be time for us to spend a moment considering whether our kids are getting enough exercise. Studies suggest that there is a link between exercise and academic performance, possibly because aerobic exercise gets more oxygen into the brain.

Exercise also provides an outlet for pent-up energy and allows kids to focus more when it is time to sit down and study for their exams.

If possible, ensuring that a child gets aerobic exercise (exercises hard enough to make him "breathe hard") three or four times a week is ideal. If your kids are lucky enough to get this level of exercise at school - fantastic! If not, you could try to find a creative way to encourage exercise - perhaps a ball game in the park with a few friends.

Teenage girls are likely to be the biggest challenge. If our Sam is anything to go by, the only game with a chance might be basketball!

Good luck and happy parenting,

Cassie

Kids, Goal-setting and Setting up a Success Loop

Thinking about goals for grownups often brings to mind big things - a goal of a new job or career, a big financial goal, a new house or car. And how much self-believe a person has can affect their chances of achieving these big goals.

How do SMALL experiences for SMALL people either build or undermine a child's levels of self-belief, which they will then carry into adulthood?

If you simplify achievement as a sequence like this:

I want xyz -> I'm motivated to take action -> I achieve my goal

... then giving children the opportunity to repeat this sequence, over and over, with SMALL goals when they are very young, will build neural pathways that will give them more and more self-belief, so that as they grow they can confidently set bigger and bigger goals.

So don't think your child necessarily needs to set big goals - instead you can focus on providing them with small, simple experiences that help them experience over and over: I WANT -> I TAKE ACTION -> I GET.

For instance: Child: "I want to go to the park," -> Parent: "Good goal! To be able to go to the park, we need to clear up the breakfast dishes, put on our coats and boots, and walk to the park." Later: "We made it to the park! This is fun isn't it? We had a good goal!"

Or... Child: "I want xyz cereal," Parent: "Good goal! Let's make sure and eat all our abc cereal up, then we'll be able to go to the shops tomorrow and get xyz cereal."

And so on.

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Talking about feelings

A good tip that I heard and wanted to pass on to any parents dealing with kids who are having emotional tantrums!

It's basically to remember that you can empathize and even sympathize, without "giving in" and letting your child "get his own way."

Often small children over-react to things such as "you must finish your dinner before you can have your pudding," or "please share the toy with your sister/brother," etc - and a lot of it can simply be pent-up emotions that the child needs to let out.

So if a child is sobbing and over-upset, you can try to deflect both your and his attention away from the incident at hand by getting down onto his level, and expressing your understanding of his emotions. "You seem to be feeling very upset / angry," ... you can stay close and show with your body language and your voice that you love your child, without necessarily giving in to what he is demanding.

Try to remember that it is healthy - and essential for normal psychological development - for your child to express the full range of emotions - including anger and sadness as well as happiness. And your role is to be supportive, loving, and gently guide your child into appropriate ways to express ALL his emotions!

Happy parenting,

Cassie