Conversation and Friendship

By the time your child starts school he will most likely start to pick up on how to start conversations and make friends,thus building his social skills. Some children are better at it than others and find making friends easy. But for children on the autism spectrum making friends and having meaningful conversations can be very difficult.

Developing social skills will help your child to build his self esteem and these skills are imperative when he becomes an adult. You will be doing your child a great service by helping him while he is young to be a better conversationalist. Simple things such as teaching your child to use eye contact when speaking to someone and smiling can be a great start, so try and suggest this to your child if he is not doing it naturally.

If you have any concerns that your child's social skills are severely lacking and he is having problems making friendships with his peers, it may a good idea to seek professional help. Social skills do not come easily to some children and more guidance may be needed.

Happy Social Skills,

Monicka

Kids, shyness and social skills

Kids and Learning Social Skills

There seems to be quite a trend towards homeschooling these days. While I applaud parents who wish to provide the best, most enriching educational experiences they can for their kids, I worry about these children missing out on what, to me, is the most important and valuable thing about school - the development of social skills that our children NEED to learn while they are young.

My mom kept me out of school when I was little and to this day I struggle immensely in social situations.

Learning social skills really needs to be done at a young age and nursery, preschool and school are critical in this regard.

Some children are naturally more sociable than others, and as long as they are given the right environment they will sail through the learning cycle of making friendships. Other children have more innate shyness and may struggle even if they are lucky enough to be going to school.

If you have a shy child, you may wish to read Monicka's article with tips on how to tackle Childhood Shyness.


Happy parenting,

Cassie

Childhood Shyness and Making Friends

The summer holidays can be a mixed blessing for shy children, or children who have difficulty making friends. It can be very relaxing for a shy child to stay home with family - but on the other hand the summer holidays can be a a set-back in the on-going and very important process of developing social skills.

If you have a shy child, you may be interested in these articles:

Childhood Shyness

Helping Your Child Make Friends

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Social Interaction in the Playground, and Mobile Phones

I heard about an interesting study on the radio today that claimed that children's ability to interact socially in the playground is being damaged by them spending more time using mobile phones and other electronic equipment. They went so far as to say "our children are growing up without friends!" - which seemed an extreme view to take!

As one who met my best friend Monicka online, I can see both points of view - certainly children should be making friends at school and should be continuing to learn and develop their social skills and their ability to interact well with one another; however, electronic communication does have its place in developing and maintaining friendships in this shrinking world of ours. Without MSN, internet telephones and the web, Monicka and I could not possibly be so close that we feel 100% confident traveling all alone to each others' countries to visit!

I wish I had a link that explained this study in more detail, as I'd love to learn more. If any readers have heard the same report and know where I could find it, please leave me the link! I'd be very grateful!



Cassie

Kids and Body Language

Kids can vary a lot in their ability to interpret body language - and this in turn can affect their social skills.

Children on the autism spectrum will clearly have special issues with understanding body language and some patient guidance may go a long way, particularly with Asperger Syndrome children.

Why not take the time to talk about and play with understanding body language with your children? Explain to them what different body signs mean. Show them how they can look confident by standing with their legs slightly apart and their head erect, with direct eye contact.

You can play all kinds of role-play games with your kids to teach them social skills - and have a lot of fun together at the same time!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Goal Setting and Social Skills

Some children are natural socializers and fit in with other kids with ease - without even thinking about it.

But many are not so lucky. Shy kids, kids who have had to move a lot and in particular kids with some type of autism may find it difficult to interact with their peers.

For kids that have these kind of difficulties, it can feel sad, scary or even depressing to go to school, play with others at the park, or meet new people.

Goal setting can help with these problems as it can with many others. Encourage your child to take baby steps and set achievable goals. It might be a good idea to avoid goals that require a lot of input from others like "I'm going to have a best friend who will walk to school with me every day," or "I'm going to be voted president of my sports club," - rather, focus on what your child can achieve by taking baby steps towards better social skills all on his own. For instance, "I'm going to remember to give my three favorite people at school a big smile at least four times this week!"

Help your child develop his social skills with mini-goal setting like this and maybe in a year's time he really will be able to have the best friend he has been dreaming of!

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Schools, Goals and Competitiveness

As parents it can be tempting to encourage our kids to be competitive at school, sometimes at the expense of children learning and practising other skills such as how to get on with their peers.

Being competitive has its place of course, and can be a great asset to a successful track record as a goal setter. Success at school, too, is a fantastic thing to encourage and praise our children for.

But just as important - well, perhaps more important if we are looking at our children's long-term happiness, are social skills and friendships.

In February, why not take time out to set some social goals with your children. Your own goal could be to help your child become a master of social skills - because his ability to make friends will bring him pleasure and multi-faceted rewards for the rest of his life - much more so than being top of his primary school class in math or whatever.

Happy Parenting

Cassie

Friendship

I don't know where I would be without my friend Cassie. She appeared in my life at a time when I was at my lowest and I am thankful every day for having her in my life. Our friendship is a very special one, as you could not find two people more in sync. There are times she will say exactly what I am thinking. I would be lost without her.

Friendship is important for children too. Not only to provide them with someone to play with but it is also an integral part of your child's development. Friendships will help your child develop his social skills, problem solving abilities and self esteem.

Monicka