How to Raise Smarter, Happier and Healthier Kids :)

Good morning all!

According to the June 2006 Time's article, you can help improve your kids grades, as well as their health and happiness by ensuring your family eats dinner together on a regular basis. According to the article, "Studies show that the more families eat together, the less likely the kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders, consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use." Wow, seems like a lot of benefits for a little nightly family togetherness. :-))

Of course you know that the dinner part or what you serve for dinner has nothing to do with the benefits, rather it is the conversations and communicating with your children that does the trick. If conversing with your younger child or teenager seems a bit alien to you, we at kidsgoals found this great way to get the ball rolling. Check out Raising Smarter Kids with PAZ Talk Cards Cassie and I are firm believers in making learning fun and these cards seem to fit the bill nicely. - "PAZ Talk Cards are designed to get your family talking in a way that everyone will enjoy. Designed to resemble 'trivia questions' from your favourite board games, each card asks a simple (yet important) question to get families talking." How cool is that!!!

Happy Parenting, :))

Monicka and Cassie

Dear all,

As parents, we know that many of our readers like to take the opportunity of Christmas to help our children learn about the importance of giving.

So we were excited by the ideas we found on this lovely website where you can create personalized Jigsaw Puzzles from your own photos .

On this site, you and the kids can upload your own pictures and design a photo jigsaw. For creative kids, you can even work with them to design a picture collage and turn that into a jigsaw. This idea makes a fantastic gift idea for grandparents and other relatives. And your children will enjoy putting a special effort in to create a truly unique gift!

Helping your child be a successful problem-solver

Helping your child be a successful problem-solver

Life is full of ups and downs! How can we help our children deal with these successfully? As parents, we are responsible for all the major decisions that affect our children's health and welfare throughout their childhood.

However, there are many areas where we can let our children learn to make their own decisions, and practice problem-solving in a safe environment.

DO:

* Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions
* Talk through with your child how you make decisions that affect him, and show that you value his input even if you have to choose an option he doesn't like
* Brainstorm with your child solutions to his every day problems rather than just telling him what to do - see if you can steer him to thinking up solutions himself.

DON'T

* Let your child make choices that might endanger him
* Overreact when your child makes a mistake or a poor choice. This is part of the learning process after all!

With your guidance, your child can learn the valuable skill of problem solving while he is still in the safe haven of your home - and will be better prepared for life's bigger problems after he has flown the nest!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Children, Emotions and Self-Esteem

Hopefully it is true to say that all good-enough parents are keen to help their children develop with a healthy emotional balance and a good self-esteem.

If you're one of these parents, it is definitely worth spending some time learning a little about HOW to help children develop in these positive ways. It's NOT about what school they go to, or about giving them more material things than you had when you were a kid.

It's much more fundamental than that. It's about how you communicate with your children on a day to day basis. How you expressly teach them that it is OK to feel ALL kinds of emotions. How you encourage them to allow both positive and negative feelings to come and go without trying to suppress them.

It's easy for a child to misunderstand. Imagine a small child having a temper tantrum. If we tell him it's not acceptable to hit people or to break things, he is likely to interpret this as it's not OK to FEEL anger. Of course it is OK to feel anger. He just needs to learn to express it appropriately rather than violently.

In extreme circumstances, if children feel that it is not OK to express certain emotions, such as anger or sadness, then the psychological effect is that they "split off" the part of them inside that holds those emotions. This is not a healthy emotional thing and can lead to low self esteem.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Kids and Exercise

As the exam season approaches for kids here in the UK, it might be time for us to spend a moment considering whether our kids are getting enough exercise. Studies suggest that there is a link between exercise and academic performance, possibly because aerobic exercise gets more oxygen into the brain.

Exercise also provides an outlet for pent-up energy and allows kids to focus more when it is time to sit down and study for their exams.

If possible, ensuring that a child gets aerobic exercise (exercises hard enough to make him "breathe hard") three or four times a week is ideal. If your kids are lucky enough to get this level of exercise at school - fantastic! If not, you could try to find a creative way to encourage exercise - perhaps a ball game in the park with a few friends.

Teenage girls are likely to be the biggest challenge. If our Sam is anything to go by, the only game with a chance might be basketball!

Good luck and happy parenting,

Cassie

Teenagers and Selfishness

I think it's normal for teenagers to go through a period of selfishness. As children mature, they need to learn about going out into the world and finding out who they are. They need to test the water when it comes to putting themselves first.

That's why I'm a bit concerned - I know this will probably sound odd - about just how CONSIDERATE my step-daughter Sam is. I wish she would learn to put herself first more often, even if it does inconvenience others once in a while.

A child's self-esteem is such a crucial thing to develop while they are still young, that the selfishness of teenagerhood seems to me a small price to pay.

Am I nuts? :)

cyberhugs,

Cassie

Self Esteem and Loving Affirmations for Children

Children's brains are more plastic than those of adults. Although recent research indicates that adult brains have much more ability to change and develop than was previously believed, it is still true that a child's brain is changing and growing very rapidly indeed.

So imagine how much of a wonderful effect positive, loving affirmations can have on these young minds.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Encouragement for Children

I blogged the other day about helping our Samantha (17), fill in a job application form. To her delight, she got a call the very next day after handing the form in, inviting her for an interview.

One thing that stood out for me was how very appreciative Sam was about how her Dad and I helped and supported her. It made me a sad to realise that she didn't get that kind of encouragement from her Mother - who unfortunately is not one to take an interest in a child's schoolwork, projects and suchlike.

I felt like telling Sam that encouraging and supporting and helping her is our JOB, as (step)parent/s, and is a joy and a privilege. I suppose it feels so much more so for me, having tried to conceive and failing for years - it makes you really appreciate what an enormous gift a child is.

So a thought for you, if you are reading this and have a child. How blessed you are to have that child in your life! What can you do today to show your special little one how much you appreciate that blessing?

Happy parenting

Cassie

The controversial "Mozart Effect"

The "Mozart Effect" is a term used to describe the positive effect that music - in particular some of Mozart's compositions - may have on learning.

There's a lot of debate and controversy surrounding this topic, and having looked at both sides of the argument I think that people are arguing simply because certain researchers are trying to make hyped-up claims and producing flawed experiments. For instance, one study found that rats learned to complete a maze more rapidly if they had been exposed to Mozart music in the womb and as babies (1). The researches then drew the radical conclusion from this experiment that the music had a direct effect on the structure of the brain. They then strongly advocated using music in schools to improve math grades.

Other writers seek to disprove the effect, and they too come up with compelling negatory evidence. (2)

I prefer to take a much more pragmatic approach! Certainly music can be beneficial in lots of ways. Whether or not it can actually "re-wire" our kids' brains to perform mathematical calculations more easily, there are certainly fun and useful ways we can use music in our lives and the lives of our children to enhance their mood, and we'll be investigating some simple steps you can take in the KidsGoals newsletter very soon!

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

References:
(1) Rauscher, Robinson and Jens (1998)
(2) For example K. M. Steele (2003)

Autism and friendship

Friendship is just as important to kids on the Autism spectrum as to any other child. But these special children can have lots of difficulty making friends.

If your child has a classmate with Autism, Aspergers or a related condition, you can help them by explaining a bit about autism and some of the ways in which autism-spectrum children differ. For example, explain that their autistic classmate might have difficulty understanding "social rules", and so might unintentionally sound rude. They probably don't mean it at all!

This article gives some other ideas about befriending an autistic person. Hope you find it as interesting as we did!

Happy parenting.

Cassie

Motivating your child

How do you motivate your child to, for instance, do his homework on time - and with enthusiasm?

We need to remember that a child's point of view can be very different to that of his parents'. He may think in terms of hours or days rather than months, terms or years.

When test results or reports come around, praise him plenty and that will help. But on a day to day basis you may need to take a much more short term view. For instance, help him to reward himself for completing his homework in a timely way by playing a favorite game with him afterwards, or by letting him help you in the kitchen.

Remember - the smaller the child, the more short-term mini-rewards are needed to keep him motivated!!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Motivating a Teenager to Study

At the weekend I was at the house of friends and they were discussing at length their dilemma regarding their 15 year old grandson, Louis. A bright child, he is more interested in socialising with his friends, playing on the computer and playing golf (at which he is extremely good, and has been picked for his county team) then his schoolwork.

The extended family are all now worrying about how to help Louis get sufficient grades at school to be able to go on to university. They have even gone to the rather extreme length of promising him money to do well - a straight bribe!

I listened intently but didn't participate in the conversation, until I was asked my opinion. Unfortunately it wasn't a very helpful opinion. I pointed out that first of all, if Louis' parents were not actively encouraging his efforts at school and spending plenty of time talking with him about his studies and encouraging him to set goals, there is a limited amount of difference that the extended family can make. And secondly, I suggested that the child that it might be more effective to focus on is their 5-year-old grandson, Cameron, who is young enough to really absorb and be excited by the whole goal setting process when it comes to school.

If it is important to you to see your child succeeding academically, I urge you to start as early as you can in showing active interest in his schoolwork and teaching him to set goals for studying!

Happy Parenting,

Cassie