Kids and Friendships continued

I have written many times about how some kids really have difficulty when it comes to making friends. Not all children are able to grasp the social skills needed so may look to their parents for tips on how to make friends. If your  child is a little shy there are simple things that you can suggest that he try to help with his social skills.

Smiling at people can be the start to making a new friend. A smile tells people that you are interested in them and it is a sure fire way to open the door to friendship. If your child is shy he may feel like lowering his head and not looking in people's eyes. Help your child to practice his smiling and eye contact with the rest of the family and if anyone notices that your child is not looking them in the eye, you can gently lift his head up and tell him to look at you with his beautiful peepers. After awhile this should become a habit.

If on the other hand that you are concerned that your child is taking too long to grasp social skills and is really having a lot of problems maintaining eye contact it may be a good idea to discuss it with your Doctor who should be able to refer you to the proper professional to help your child. Children on the Autism Spectrum in particular have problems with social skills and so more help may be needed.

For more ideas on How to Help Your Child Make Friends!


Happy Parenting

Monicka

Autism and autism-related disorders

Autism and autism-related disorders have been attributed to many causes, but so far there is not a proven causal factor.

A new UK study by Professor Simon Baron-Cohen of Cambridge University has shown that if unborn babies are exposed to higher than normal levels of the hormone testosterone during pregnancy, they may have an above average chance of being diagnosed with autism later on.

While the studies fall far short of proving a causal link, this theory merits further investigation. Earlier studies have also demonstrated that prenatal testosterone levels have an effect on brain development in animals.

Full story http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/09/11/sciaut111.xml

The Importance of Routine

The Importance of Routine

In the past my daughter Savannah, who has Asperger's, did not care much about her personal hygiene. Having a shower and washing her hair on a regular basis was not a huge priority for her. Most younger children and teens on the spectrum do not independently learn what they need to know about hygiene and self-care; so it is important as a parent to teach your child as early as possible the importance of keeping clean and tidy. For my daughter even brushing her hair was a struggle and she would get frustrated and not want to do it. Now that she is fifteen she has made incredible progress in all of these areas. The most important factor was not so much recognizing when she needed a shower or to wash her hair but rather to decide that she will shower every second day regardless of whether she needed one or not. This worked wonderfully and she would set her alarm for 6:30 AM learning from trial and error how much extra time she would need to comb out and dry her hair so as not to be late for school. This was not something that happened overnight and we all encouraged her by telling her how well she was doing with her hygiene routine.

About a week ago her Father in one of his bad moods asked Savannah if she could possible have her shower the night before school because the running of water that early in the morning was waking him up and he found it hard to go back to sleep. Luckily, I was in the room at the time and promptly set him straight on how important it was that Savannah has an established routine. I sometimes have to remind him that she has Asperger's and routine is very important to her. Anything that throws her out of whack such as choosing a different day to shower when she has kept to a strict every second day pattern would be very difficult for her and she could start to regress. After that he apologized to her and told her to shower whenever she wanted.

As her Mother and her strongest advocate I know that we all have to make sacrifices sometimes when it comes to Savannah. Whether it is putting up with early morning showers or biting our tongue when she may say something rude to us without meaning it to be. She is honest to a fault and that is one of the qualities I wouldn't want to change about her. She will learn in time and with practice that sometimes she needs to take the time to think, before blurting out that someone is a bit of a pig if they eat too much cake or even better find a nicer way to say it. As I have told her many times, it is not what you say, but how you say it.

All the best

Monicka

Exercise and Mood

In Friday's blog I touched a bit on depression and Autism. Since my daughter, who has Asperger's, tends to suffer from depression from time to time I have found that if I can get her to have a workout it really helps her immensely. I have definitely noticed that when she has regular physical activity her mood tends to be more even. Knowing this I try to keep her involved in extra curricular activities such as soccer or badminton.

Interestingly enough I found this article that supports vigorous physical exercise for kids with autism or autism related conditions.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Children and Medication "Do the Research"

The updated Kidsgoals website has been around for over a year now and it always amazes me when we get emails with comments and suggestions from our readers. You mean people are actually reading what we write? We do not take your comments lightly and will do our best to take your suggestions under consideration. One email from a lady who is upset because her Dr. wanted to put her son on Ritalin after he was diagnosed with ADHD in children really hit home to me. She wanted to know if we had any information of alternative methods that she could try before she agreed to put her son on medication. I remember when my sons' Dr. suggested that I put him on anti depressants to help with his social anxiety. I was ready to try anything to help my son, but my son, who has Asperger's, would have no part of it. He said he would try it on his own for awhile and if things didn't improve he might give the pills a go. Interestingly enough he never did go on the medication.

I honestly do believe parents need to do the research before they agree to put their kids on any medication. We so want to believe that our Dr's have all the answers but experience has made me believe otherwise. We as parents are the ones who need to be advocates for our children and find out everything about the medication your Dr. may suggest as well as other alternative resources. If we don't look out for the best interest of our children who will?

Happy Parenting,
 KidsGoals

Can't we all just get along??

Happy Friday Everyone

Cassie had a good rest last night and so far (knock on wood) seems to be coping with the jet lag really well. We had a nice lazy day at home, talking, drinking lots of tea and also watched a movie. I am really enjoying spending time with my best friend. Which brings me to the topic of today's blog,"Friendship and Asperger's"

I have read that most "Aspies" are not interested in forming any social connections, but I beg to differ. From everything that I have experienced with my daughter and other kids in her support group, is that they all would really like to fit in, the problem is they just don't know how. The movie Cassie and I watched was called Mozart and the Whale, which showed how important it is to connect with other people. No matter who we are we all need to feel like we belong. The characters in the film had problems forming friendships with others but find meaningful relationships with other Apies.

Anyone who refuses to give these kids a chance does not know what they are missing! Each child is unique and amazing in their own personal strengths and in the way they view the world. I truly believe that they are angels that are here to teach us all something. My fondest wish is that with all the airplay Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders (hate that word by the way) has received recently, that the world will have a more positive view of the children and adults who are on the spectrum, and that can only be a good thing.

I found this incredible poem and emailed the woman who wrote it for permission to post her url on our blog. It is titled, "Plaint of the Aspie" I think you will find it as enlightning as Cassie and I did.




All the best

Monicka

Non -verbal Communication

Happy Saturday Everyone

We all have good days and bad days and I am so blessed to have a very special friend that can always pick up on my moods without my saying a word. She can read me like a book, and all I have to do is listen to the tone in her voice and I will know if something is not right with her.

Sadly, a lot of children who are on the autism spectrum, such as my daughter are not born with this natural sense. Not to say that it can't be learned but it takes a lot of effort and I am always amazed when my daughter makes it a point to ask me if I am OK. My youngest son will pick up on my facial expression quite naturally, but my daughter needs to go out of her way to check in with how I am feeling. Eye contact is especially difficult for her but she always tries so hard to look people in the eye. Sometimes she is so intent on keeping eye contact with whomever she is listening to, it looks like she is looking right through you. Her speech therapist and I both advised her that it was OK to look away from time to time to give her eyes a bit of a rest and she is practicing that now.

I am thrilled with the fact that the talk shows are focusing on this disorder, which is increasing at an alarming rate. Up until now it was not given enough airplay and thanks to people like Larry King and Oprah that is slowly changing. Even Oprah said it was eye- opening for her and she was shocked that this was the first time she had ever featured a program on Autism in all the many years she was on television.

If you would like to know more about Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorders one of my favourite websites is, http://www.autismspeaks.org/

All the best

Monicka

Latest Autism Stats

Happy Wednesday Everyone

I was gobsmacked when I found out the latest stats for Autism or Autism Spectrum disorders in the the U.S. according to the Autism Awareness newsletter.

* 1 in 150 births
* 1 to 1.5 million Americans
* Fastest-growing developmental disability
* 10 - 17 % annual growth
* Growth comparison during the 1990s(3):
o U.S. population increase: 13%
o Disabilities increase: 16%
o Autism increase: 172%
* $90 billion annual cost(4)
* 90% of costs are in adult services(4)
* Cost of lifelong care can be reduced by 2/3 with early diagnosis and intervention(4)
* In 10 years, the annual cost will be $200-400 billion(5)

While the stats for Autism and Autism related conditions in Canada are still inconclusive according to the Autism Society of Canada website there are about 1 in 165 births and in the U.K. an estimated 1 in a 100 births.

The most shocking thing of all is that these numbers are increasing steadily and there is no apparent reason why. Kind of makes you wonder doesn't it???


All the best

Monicka

Asperger Syngrome

As someone with no previous experience of Autism or Asperger Syndrome, I wanted to share this book with you all, because now that I have an "honorary niece" who has been diagnosed with Asperger's, I was SO glad that Monicka recommended I read it.

The book is called "Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome", and is a very personal account by a wonderful young man called Luke Jackson.

In the book, Luke writes in detail about experiencing adolescence when you're a kid with Asperger's, and it is both fascinating and endearing.

If there is someone important in YOUR life who has Asperger Syndrome, I would urge you to read this book, especially if they are approaching teenager-hood!

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

Theme for April

April is National Autism Awareness Month (NAAM)—an awareness initiative established in 1972 by the Autism Society of America (ASA)—and ASA’s national headquarters and its network of nearly 200 local chapters across the nation are preparing to increase autism awareness throughout the month.

In support of this great cause the theme for the blogs and newsletters for the month of April will be concerning Autism and Autism Spectrum disorders. Autism affects me on a personal level because my now fifteen-year-old daughter, was diagnosed with the Autism Spectrum Disorder,P.D.D./N.O.S / Asperger's, when she was 13.

Cassie and I would love to hear from any of the other Mom's or Dads out there whose children are affected by Autism or Autism Spectrum disorders.

All the best!!!

Happy Parenting