What Doesn't Kill You...

First of all I have to say once again, I am soooooo proud of my son!!!! He did it! As nervous and scared as he was he donned that great big gorilla suit and went out there and gave it his all. I sat at home on pins and needles and sent him all the love and support I could muster, albeit telekinetically. I also found that by going to the hockey teams website I could listen to the game online which was a little frustrating because I knew with every pause in the play it would be that much longer for my son to stay in the suit. Finally feeling stressed to the limit I figured a good workout was in order and jumped on the treadmill for half an hour.

Long story short he came home exhausted but elated! Who would have thunk it? As miserable as it was wearing the costume and hardly being able to see he actually had a good time and wants to do it again next Saturday. He said it seemed really surreal, and while he was in costume he could look at this as if he was an actor in a play. So for 2.5 hours he was"Kong," mascot of the Salmon Arm Silverbacks hockey team. Sometimes it was a little annoying as some of the younger kids tried to jump into his arms or hang from him for a photo op and he had to pretty much grin and bear it. He also said he had never been so hot in his life and his gym shorts and t-shirt were soaked through and through as evidence.

This morning he was no worse for wear and I even noticed a subtle change in his demeanor -he walked a little taller and was in really good spirits. He even said he slept like a rock!

I so hoped that this would turn out to be a positive experience for him and from what I can see it was that and more. He proved something to himself and I truly believe seeds of confidence have been planted. I am so looking forward to watching his self-esteem grow in leaps and bounds as the hockey season progresses.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Teaching Children to do for Themselves

Having been raised by a Mother who thought it was too much work to allow me to cook or learn other skills because she never had the time. I found that when I finally married at the tender age of twenty that I did not even know how to boil an egg, let alone raise a family. Because of my upbringing I vowed not to follow my Mother's example and while I did let my children cook with me there were still a myriad of things I did not take the time to teach them so they could be more independent, which in turn would help build self-esteem. As I look back on my own childhood I received the message loud and clear that I was not capable enough to learn the things I wanted my Mother to teach me. It took a long time after that to build the confidence needed in order to feel like I was a capable wife and Mother.

After years of trial and error I can now do these things with my eyes closed, but still find myself repeating the same parenting pattern my Mother did from time to time with my own children. I guess what we experience as little children is so engrained in us it is a hard habit to break, but one we must, if we want our kids to become self-reliant and capable human beings.


I have been away from my family for just short of two weeks and I miss them dearly. The time we have been apart has given me a new appreciation for them, and I am sure that my husband is finding that having to take on the role that I am for the time being on hiatus from, is probably a bit of a rude awakening for him as well as the children. I do know that doing too much for my children has been their detriment as before I left for my journey I realized how little they really know how to do on their own. Something I vow to change on my return.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Giving Children the Confidence to Achieve their Goals

We may not realize it, but a child starts developing the confidence he will need to achieve his goals at a very, very young age.
How you react to a tiny baby will have a powerful impact on his belief, as he grows, as to whether he can successfully manipulate the world around him.
If a baby is ignored when he cries, for example, this can have a hugely disempowering influence on his personality - he may learn at this very early age a deep-seated belief that says (although he has no words yet) "It doesn't matter what I do, I can't change what happens to me."
On the other hand, every time that you react to an infant, or show a tiny child that he is capable and can do something for himself, you are nurturing the basic belief that he can take action and be successful.
After all, isn't that what goal achievement is all about?
Happy parenting,
Cassie

Kids, Goals and Confidence

Kids, Goals and Confidence

The most successful adults that I know are not necessarily those that try hardest with goal-setting, or that read the most motivational books. They are the ones that have an inner CONFIDENCE that they will get what they want.

Every baby is born with his or her own personality, and you can’t MAKE your child be self-confident. But the interactions that you have with your child at a very young age do have a significant impact on his confidence.

From the earliest age possible, try to:

1) Take a genuine interest in the events in your child’s life – ask what happened at school or nursery, and then really listen. This shows your child that he has worth because he feels worthy of your attention.

2) Offer plenty of praise and encouragement.

3) Praise effort, skills and attributes as well as successes.

4) Show your child that you have confidence in his ability to do for himself by allowing him to perform age-appropriate tasks for himself without you “helping”.

5) Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions, and then respect them. (See Monicka's recent blogs about how she has been helping her daughter Savannah make some important decisions!)

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Imaginary Friends

Many children have imaginary friends and most parents just ignore or humour their children when they talk about their invisable playmates, but according to a study from the Institute of Education, "The invisible pals offer companionship and emotional support, aid creativity, boost self esteem and create a 'sense of self'. Parents should not worry even if their child dreams up multiple companions, it said. "Imaginative children will create imaginary friends,' said Karen Majors, an educational psychologist at the institute who is carrying out the research. 'Companionship is a big part of it. They can be a way of boosting self-confidence."

We as parents all want that for our children!!!

Happy Parenting

Monicka