Newsletters

Hello All,

It has been awhile since I have blogged so I figured it was about time, so here goes...

Wow! Can you believe it is almost the middle of March and of course you know what that means. Yep, time for the next newsletter. I decided to clean up my readers list and give anyone a chance that didn't really want the newsletter in the first place, to opt out before I send out the next campaign. According to Mail Chimp, (the nice people who send my letter out for me) mail lists get stale very quickly. Some people even forget they signed up in the first place. So please if you really don't want it, don't send it to SPAM because it then becomes an abuse complaint and I am sent a compliance letter from Mail Chimp. So if you don't want it you know what to do, just click on the unsubscribe button and I will take you off the list. But on to other matters.

Spring is in the air, and maybe even thoughts of love for your tween or teen. The March issue is about kids crushes and what you as a parent can do to help your child if they develop a crush on that certain someone. We have all been there, but for your child this can be a very traumatic time and it is crucial that you do not treat the crush as a trivial matter, but rather offer lots of love and support - especially if the crush isn't reciprocated :( I think you will find the article very informative.



Anyway hope you have a great weekend!!

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Grandparents and Self Esteem

My parents have been staying with us for the last two weeks and while it was wonderful having them around I was not sad to see them leave. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly, but my biggest problem with them is that they never seem to respect the fact that I am no longer a child. My Mother insisting that I wear something less revealing, or I should be eating more vegetables. While on the other hand they spoil my kids rotten allowing them to have dessert even if they didn't clean their plate and all the rules that I set in my household seem to go out the window. It got me thinking, what happened to the overly strict, judgemental people that I grew up with?

Something magical seems to happen to our parents when we have children. Those overly strict, judgmental people that we know and love, seem to disappear into thin air. Our children really benefit the most from this amazing transformation because Grandparents are the epitome of unconditional love. Since love is the most important ingredient children need to develop self esteem and reach their full potential, and unlike frazzled , multi-tasking parents, Grandparents can often provide more undivided, non-judgemental attention.

Here's to Grandparents!!!

Happy Parenting

Monicka

The Power of Love

While I was half watching America has Talent the other day I happened to hear the heartwarming story of one of the performers an 11 year old boy named Casey or "Little C" who had been in the foster care system for most of his young life. He was not doing very well and rarely spoke. It was not until a woman decided to adopt him and give him the love and security he truly needed and the boy thrived. Knowing he was loved made all the difference and you could tell. He was happy and confident and a talented dancer to boot. Just shows you what love can do.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

The basics that a child NEEDS

Do you give your kids a safe family environment? I think that so many people take that for granted.
Do you bring up your kids in a family where they:

1. Know they are loved?
2. Know they will be taken care of?
3. Know they will be fed, and have somewhere to sleep?

If you do these things, give yourself a BIG pat on the back. It might sound like not a lot, but if a child DOESN'T get these things, he or she will suffer tremendously. So don't take it for granted. Congratulate yourself for giving your child a good start in life.

Believe me, I know what it is like to grow up without these things.

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

Love or Food?

A couple who are friends of friends had a baby a month ago - and have not yet named him. I was really shocked to hear this and worry that this is a sign that the parents have not bonded well with the baby and while he may well be getting all he needs physically, I strongly suspect that he is being neglected emotionally.

My friend, who doesn't have much experience with babies, commented, "Isn't a baby more interested in food at that age?" To be honest I was too flabbergasted to summon much of a meaningful reply, and still am.

No way should a baby have to choose between Love and Food!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Tweens, Teens and "Love Lifes"

My step-daughter was with us at the weekend, at 17 years old she is a bit of a stunner and frankly when she's all dressed up and made up she can look older than me! However we still sometimes forget and think she's about 3 years old and our little baby.
She was full of stories of her new boyfriend, Robin, and how romantic he is - cooking her a meal for Valentine's day, etc etc.

The "love life" of a teen - or "tween" for that matter is not always this great. Most of them have an upsetting time at one stage or another.

One thing to consider if you have a child at this stage - or indeed earlier in many cases - is whether you can do anything to help them develop a healthy body image.
Monicka wrote an awesome article about just this, which I thought some of you might find helpful, so here is the link:

Help your child to foster a healthy body image.
Happy Parenting,

Cassie

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!

When I was single I hated Valentine's Day I would look on with envy as I watched men and woman rushing to the shops to pick up last minute flowers, cards or candy for their significant others. Now that I am married I no longer dread February 14th; but I have not forgotten how in the past this day just seemed to make me feel extra bad for not having someone in my life to celebrate it with.

If you are single you can still celebrate this special day. Why not be your own Valentine. Do something nice for yourself, buy yourself some flowers or a new outfit just because; and treat yourself extra special today or get together with your single friends and do something fun. If you are a single parent do something enjoyable with your kids. Make up a batch of sugar cookie dough and let your kids cut out heart shapes and decorate them and then you can all enjoy the fruits of their labour while you snuggle up and watch a funny movie together or better yet read to them. Valentine's day is all about the love so show your kids in a special way that you love them by showing them that you truly enjoy spending time with them.

So you do have a choice. You can choose to wallow in your sorrows, envious of others or you can appreciate all the blessings in your life as it is; and show gratitude for the most amazing blessing of all, your children.

Happy Parenting

Love and Goal Setting

When goal setting with your kids, it is a good idea to encourage them to set goals in different parts of their lives. A sports-mad child might get excited about goal setting for sport, and it is a nice idea to ask him to think about setting other goals as well, in different areas of his life.

He can use goal setting to succeed and enjoy himself at school, and also in his family life.

Siblings often fight or argue - which is natural, after all they didn't pick their brothers and sisters and while for the most part siblings have loving relationships, sometimes the sparks can fly!

If you find this happens at your home, an idea for school-age kids is to ask them to make it a goal to behave nicely with their siblings. You can use a chore wheel (click on the link and scroll down to find the Chore Wheel Craft!) for consequences if there are any arguments, but more importantly make sure you praise and reward them when they manage to behave harmoniously for longer than usual! Maybe a treat or outing.

Another idea is to encourage siblings to have a joint goal of some kind if they have an interest in common - perhaps a goal to do with a family pet or shared hobby.

There are so many things you can use goal setting for with your family and your children, let's remember that as well as just "achievement" in the traditional sense of the world, we can use goal setting to achieve a more harmonious and loving family!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

The "Dangerous" Game of Tag

I could barely believe what I was reading in the paper today when I saw that a primary school headteacher in Lincoln, UK has banned children from playing tag during recess. Even worse, the children have been told they are forbidden from touching each other. Best friends aren't even allowed to link hands. The only time the children can touch a classmate is if they need to help a pupil who has fallen over.

This story really upset me, in particular as I had just finished writing an article about how important it is for babies and children to have plenty of loving physical contact in order to grow up feeling loved and secure. Naturally this is needed most from their parents, but affectionate and playful physical contact between children is a vital part of development.

I just hope the parents of the kids at Bracebridge Heath Primary School make a stand quickly, before this misguided head teacher does too much damage to the children!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Love and Support at Home and Away

Parenting should be a joint effort - or even better, a team effort. In so called "primitive" societies many mothers have all kinds of support and parenting help, not only from their husbands but from grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.

Nowadays not only do many families feel the lack of an extended family who are around for support on a day to day basis, but sometimes even the sacred bond between the two parents is disturbed, so that one parent is doing most of the parenting and not getting the support they need from their partner.

For any Mothers or Fathers who find themselves in this difficult situation, a couple of tips that might help a tiny little bit:

1) It is vital that you take care of yourself. Try to spend some time each day doing things that you enjoy. Relaxation exercises, a beloved hobby, talking to a friend on the phone, a nice bath, half an hour with a book. Make it a priority! To be a great parent, you need to take care of yourself too.

2) Don't get into pointless arguments with your spouse. State your needs clearly and calmly. Use phrases like "I need xxx" or "I can't do xxx and I need help." It's tempting to get emotional and to use blame, and sometimes it's well deserved! But it doesn't work well. Repeat your needs calmly and clearly, over and over if necessary, and make it clear that you expect your spouse to pull his or her weight.

Good luck to all you loving parents out there!

Cassie

A Soft Place to Fall

My 23 year-old daughter just met a fellow on an online dating site and they seemed to hit it off right from the start. After a few phone conversations they both agreed that they should meet in person. He had emailed a recent picture of himself to her and she forwarded it to me for my opinion. From what she had told me he seemed like he was goal oriented, and was close to obtaining a degree. It was a nice photo and I very much approved of this clean cut fellow with the enchanting smile. I gave him the thumbs up and started getting excited for her as she planned what she would wear for her first date.

Unfortunately the date was not to be as she called me last night, obviously very upset for having been stood up. I kept making excuses for him saying maybe something came up and he couldn't make it but she said he had his chance and he can go to you know where as far as I am concerned. My heart ached for her as she had really gotten her hopes up that maybe this guy was quality. I guess appearances can be deceiving sometimes.


As far as I am concerned it is that young man's loss because my daughter is not only beautiful physically, she is also an incredible person with a huge heart and wiser than her years. I felt so blessed that she called me when she was down and allowed me to try and console her. We as parents need to make our children aware that they will always have a soft place to fall and it is always safe to tell us anything. If they can get that message they will never feel like they are alone even if the rest of the world has let them down, we will always be there for them.

We all want the best for our children and try to bring them up knowing they are loved and that they are walking perfection in our eyes. We would love to keep them from all of the hurt and disappointment but sadly that is not often possible and they must sometimes experience pain and heartache in order to grow.

Happy Parenting

Mission KidsGoals -Loving Yourself as a Parent :))

Parenting is a difficult job at the best of times, isn't it?  Our children are so very precious, we want so badly to do it all perfectly for them!

It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that it's inevitable that we'll make some mistakes in our parenting. Mistakes that can harm our children's self esteem, for instance.
What to do?! It's such a dilemma. We could spend all day blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up for being imperfect. Much better though, to accept and love ourselves as we are and focus on those things we do RIGHT, and focus on doing more of those good things for our children.

So a little reminder for today - let's remember to love ourselves for all the wonderful things we do for our kids, love ourselves because we love them and they love us.
You love your kids! And just that deserves a big pat on the back, so please give yourself one right now!!!
Please check out this article on parenting stress for more ideas on loving yourself as a parent!

Hugs :))