Post Seventeen

I am running a bit behind on writing the blog, as I was out and about picking up things for Thanksgiving dinner which in Canada is this weekend. Although I am a vegetarian I will be the one in charge of the turkey and all the trimmings, even though I cannot partake in most of it. I have yet to find a good vegetarian meat alternative in the stores, although homemade seiten (wheat meat) comes close. I am hoping with the proper seasonings I can make a reasonable facsimile of a turkey, well in texture anyway. I am making the stuffing vegetarian though - love my stuffing!!!

This is also the weekend that my son dons his gorilla costume and entertains the masses. I am watching him carefully for signs of nerves, but so far so good. I am hoping that in time it will just become a routine and he will start looking forward to going. He was quite hot last time and said he had never sweated so much in his life! Doesn't sound like much fun, but he is willing to persevere because of the cash incentive. He wants to buy a new gaming computer as his laptop is hanging on by a thread. That is the beauty of setting a goal such as saving up for a computer, a car, a vacation, or anything else you truly want. You can look at the object of your desire in your minds eye and then then see what steps are needed to bring it to fruition.

One more thing to bear in mind is that when something is given to us with no effort on our part, we tend to take it for granted, but if you have to really work for something it becomes very valuable to you and you are more likely to take care of it.

Well, must get dinner on so will close this blog for now and hopefully will come up with a much more interesting topic tomorrow. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself after all the point of the whole experiment was to write consistently for thirty minutes minimum and I have done that.

Happy Weekend,

Monicka

Goal Setting for Kids - An Outcome IS A Success

When a baby tries to impact the world around him, this is the earliest form of goal oriented behavior. And his experiences will start to shape his self-belief - whether he believes his actions will produce results or not.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to "spoil" your baby and give in to his every demand. (I could (and often do!) argue that it's not possible to "spoil" a baby anyway).
For example, suppose your 6 month old is crying in his crib at nap time and demanding to be picked up. How you react is very important. If you completely ignore him, this experience indicates to him that he is helpless and cannot change the world around him, or your reaction, by his own actions. But if you were to walk into the nursery and speak to him, lay him down and stroke his head, then his action (crying) has produced an outcome and therefore has been successful. He may not have achieved his ultimate goal of you picking him up, but he has created a result and can learn from that.
Similarly, goal achievement for older children does not have to be all about getting the ultimate result that they want straight away from the first action they take. Teach your child that when he takes an action and gets a result, even if it is not quite the result he wanted, he can learn from that outcome and then take more action. This is how to empower your child for goal setting and achievement.

Self Esteem and Goal Setting

When you boost your child's self esteem you are giving her a powerful foundation for goal setting and achievement.
For ideas on building your child's self esteem, you might be interested in this parenting article:
Give Your Child the Gift of Self Esteem

Happy parenting,

Goal Setting, Patience, Kids and Mice

Goal Setting, Patience, Kids and Mice
This is my adorable field mouse. Her name is HazelMouse. My goal is to tame her so that she will come to me and sit in my hand. Unlike domestic mice which are bred to be easier to tame, field mice are much more skittish. I'm lucky to have caught HazelMouse while she is quite young. Already she will come up and sniff my fingers before dashing away and having a wash while she thinks about it! It's tempting to grab her but that would destroy all the good work I've done sitting still and being patient with her.

Kids too need to learn patience when it comes to setting and achieving goals. Good things are worth waiting for! But as parents it is vitally important that we remember that time is very different for a child than it is for us grown-ups.

Do you remember how the 6 week summer holiday felt like it went on forever? Similarly, it is really important for kids to have short term goals so that they feel they are achieving things and not just waiting for the good stuff for what seems like years.

Luckily for me, time is different yet again for mice. My HazelMouse probably feels like she has been getting to know me for years, whereas in fact it has only been a couple of weeks!!

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Accountability and Goal Setting

One of the best ways for you and your child to reach your goals, is something called "Accountability". What this means is that you are taking responsibility for bringing your goal to fruition, and you cannot blame anyone else if your goal is not realized.

Once your child has a defined goal in mind and is committed to making it a reality, get him to start talking about it. It can be the subject of conversation at the dinner table or better yet, get him to talk about his goal and how it is progressing first thing in the morning over breakfast. Make sure that your child has plenty of time to get his things in order first or he may feel rushed and not be able to devote enough time to talking about his goal. This is a great time to share how things are going with your own goals and to gauge your progress. By talking about it with your family,you are asking for support from the people that care about your welfare and are going to support you in your quest. Do not talk about your goal with people that are not your family or a close friend because they may ridicule you and try and sabotage your efforts.

Happy Goal Setting,

Monicka

Patience and Goal Setting

Patience is a virtue and one that is a big part of goal setting. You have to realize that most of your goals, at least the ones worth having, are not going to happen overnight. Now it would be nice to wake up 20 pounds thinner or with rippling abs but it ain't gonna happen, so relax and look at your goals as something definitely worth waiting for and teach this to your children.

The best way to teach your children this is to explain to them that each goal takes a series of steps and whatever they want to realize can be broken down into smaller goals that will eventually help them to obtain the big kahuna.

My son, for instance, has decided that he wants a lap top computer. Now since he only has a little over $90 in the bank he knows that he has to find a way to increase the amount until he has enough to buy his computer. I had him write down what it is he wanted, what it looked like and how he would feel when he obtained his goal.

He said wouldn't have to fight for use of the family computer when he had homework assignments or wanted to play his online games. He said he would feel very proud for having something that he worked for himself and happy that it was all his.

We then looked at how long, within reason it would take for him to save enough to get his laptop. It is very important to help your child to set a deadline as to when he wants to accomplish his goal. It must be doable but not so far into the future that your child loses all hope. Have him write down when he would like to reach his goal but let him know that nothing is written in stone and he may get it sooner or it may take a little longer so the deadline is just to give him an idea of how long it should take, but he is always welome to change it.

We then made a list of all of the ways he could earn extra money other than his allowance and he could also ask for cash as opposed to gifts for his birthday or other special occasions where he would normally get some kind of gift or treat. The next step is to find a picture of the computer he wants a put it somewhere where he can see it every day. I also suggested that he read out loud what he had written every morning and every night and then close his eyes and imagine how it would feel like to have his computer and to try and feel those emotions.

Goal setting is something that you can start with your child at an early age. Better yet set goals that you can accomplish together, make it a family affair if you can and get everyone excited about it by making it the topic of conversation everyday. For more goal setting ideas check out www.kids goals.com

Happy Goal Setting

Monicka

Kidsgoals Advice Column

Cassie and I often receive email from our subscribers for parenting advice. Now I am by no means a professional at parenting and have learned most of my tricks of the trade from trial and error. They say the proof is in the pudding and all four of my kids, two twenty somethings a sixteen -year- old and a ten-year-old have turned out to be so far (knock on wood) basically happy, well adjusted, independent and very goal oriented individuals.

Now I cannot take all the credit for these great kids as I did have help from the children's Fathers (married twice) but I would say as a mostly stay at home Mom, I did spend more time with them, so I will take most of the credit. I learned a great deal from each child and when something did not work with one, I tried something else with the next one until I found a way that seemed to work.

Cassie and I have mutually decided that for the next little while we will post these questions as well as the advice given on our blog so that someone who may be having a similar parenting problem may hopefully find some helpful advice.

Happy Parenting

From Cassie and Monicka

Believing is Seeing??

The old saying "I will believe it, when I see it" does not apply to goal setting. "If you believe it you will see it" is much more fitting.

Belief is a very powerful thing. If you really believe that you can achieve something, you will achieve it. This has been demonstrated many times over by researchers studying the psychology of successful people. The reason that it is true is that once your conscious mind accepts that you are able to achieve a goal, you no longer procrastinate or waste time in fruitless thoughts of "I can't do this" - you just get on with it.

Happy Goal setting

Monicka

Goals Must Have a Deadline

A goal without a deadline rarely gets completed. A deadline generates the motivation necessary for you to get yourself to take action. It's also an excuse for a celebration! It is a good idea however to give yourself ample time and take into consideration any possible distractions that may slow down your progress. The deadline also has to reasonable, for instance if your goal was to lose ten pounds in five days, it would be very difficult if not impossible to do so. Give yourself plenty of time to accomplish your goal and take into consideration that the deadline does not have to be cut in stone. It is perfectly OK to give yourself a bit of leeway, if it looks like you might not make the deadline. This is especially important for children as we do not want to put undue pressure on them.

Happy Goal setting

Monicka

Put it Down on Paper

One of the first and very crucial steps to goal setting is writing your goal down. This may not not seem like an important step. But it is! In fact, writing down a goal that you are committed to is the most important first step in the goal-setting process. You might say "I carry my goal around in my head." Well, it's absolutely necessary to carry your goal around in your head, of course. But having it down on paper could make all the difference. In fact, one of the most motivating things you and your child can do is to write out your main current goal, in as much detail as possible and including your reasons for wanting to accomplish it, and to do this every morning.
Writing your goal out is essential to programme it into the subconscious. Repeating this daily is one of the most powerful ways of generating higher and higher levels of motivation. When you have just got up in the morning is the most powerful time to do this, when your mind is at its most receptive. This is also the time of day when creativity peaks, so early morning is a particularly good time to discuss goals and new ideas.

Happy goal setting

Monicka

Goals Must be Believable

Goals Must be Believable
We have already looked at the fact that belief is important in goal achievement. If you study successful people, you will see that they have an absolute conviction that they cannot fail. Indeed, many of them deny that there is such a thing as failure. If the result they obtain is not what they wanted, they see that as a learning experience. However, many of us need to gradually build up confidence. If the first goal we set ourselves is too ambitious, we have difficulty believing that we can achieve it. So don't try to build Rome in a day, and don't encourage your child to set goals that are too demanding initially.

Happy Goal Setting
Monicka

Do It Now!!!

Cassie and I set a goal to blog everyday this year. In 2006 we tried the same thing, but it was pretty much hit and miss and more miss than hit as we blogged a total of 60 times. This year we have at this time blogged a total of 206 times. Blogging is something that must be consistent as it is easy to let it slip your mind and then realize at 11:14 PM as I just did, Oh sugar, I forgot to blog today!!! Oh well what can you do??? No body's perfect right??

Everyone procrastinates from time to time, but if you want to realize your goals putting things off is a sure fire way to NOT bring them to fruition. If your kids see you breaking promises to yourself they are more likely to follow suit. Procrastination eats away at how you feel about yourself, after all if you can't trust yourself to do what you say you will do, than who can you trust?

Don't sit there and beat yourself up if you don't follow through on something, that only makes you feel worse, try a new strategy instead, such as setting a realistic schedule that you will do your best to follow. Things come up, and we all get distracted from time to time, but if you can honestly say that you gave it a good shot than that is enough. There are days when I can whip up a blog in five minutes flat and other days I will struggle for hours for something to blog about but eventually I get it done, or Cassie will step in and spell me off and I will return the favour.

Procrastination is a learned habit and the more we put things off the harder it is to get back on track. Some people thrive on deadlines and do their best work under pressure, but that doesn't work for everyone.

Happy Goalsetting,

Monicka

A Powerful Visualization Exercise

Still on the topic of visualization, I came across an article in the "Mind Power News" which is widely regarded as the most powerful visualization exercise ever discovered. As quoted from the article:

"Relax with your eyes closed and focus on your breathing. Tell yourself that with each breath you take you are relaxing more and more.
Now imagine yourself as part of the entire universe. The easiest way to do this is to project your mind at high speed out into space... see the planets then solar systems rushing by.
See the universes rushing by until you have reached as far as you can go. When you look back you see all the matter of creation shimmering and pulsating in a large vibrant form before you. You can visualize this shape in any form you wish.

The suns and planets are your body cells, each filled with energy and power but awaiting your direction. You realize that you are part of the universe and the universe is part of you.
Then see this image exploding into your own consciousness. It is unbelievably bright and full of love. Realize that this is only one portion of a far greater unseen multidimensional structure spread out over dimensions that are on the fringe of your conscious awareness.
Feel the energy arriving from this entity then visualize this same energy passing into your mind and body. Let it fill your being then direct it physically to any place within your body that you chose."

If you are looking to realize a certain goal, then picture the goal as clearly as you can and transfer this massive vibrant burst of universal energy to the goal you wish to bring to fruition
Visualize the required event actually happening while you are connected with the universe and full of this life-force energy. "

Happy Visualizing

Monicka

Visualization Exercise

Cassie and I are firm believers in the power of visualization to help kids and adults alike to realize their goals. We believe that if your mind's eye can see the prize, you are more likely to achieve your goal. As A.L. Linall, Jr. so aptly put it "Visualization and belief in a pattern of reality, activates the creative power of realization"

An easy exercise you can try if you want to , is to take a picture of something and find a quiet place and really study the picture for ten minutes. Look at all the different things in the picture and then focus on one aspect of the picture, something specific. Look at the colours, shape and texture of the image and then close your eyes and open your eyes quickly over and over for about 30 seconds. Your mind will not be able to tell whether you are actually looking at the image or if you are imagining it. By practicing this you are teaching your mind to hold an image.

If you want to teach your mind how to visualize with words, look at the image and then describe it verbally in as much detail as possible-that way you can develop your mind's ability to visualize with words.

Since memories are images, sounds and sensations in your mind you can use your imagination to make up new experiences such as seeing a goal come to fruition. The hard part is keeping the image in your mind long enough so that you will accept it. Remember as with anything, practice makes perfect.

Happy Goal setting

Monicka

Summer Goal Setting for Kids

A year is a very long time for small children (and even older children), so helping them learn to set goals which can be achieved over the summer is a great way to introduce children to what for them is relatively "long term" goal setting.
For some ideas and tips check out this "Summer Goal Setting for Kids" article.

cyberhugs,

Cassie

Visualization and Goal Setting for Kids

Visualization is an incredibly powerful tool that we have at our disposal and can call on in a moment's notice! Get a clear image in your mind of what your goal will look like. Picture and experience in your mind everything that you want to realize. How does it sound, look smell, what positive things are others saying as you stand there proudly saying, "Look what I did!!! "

You will probably find that your kids are even better at visualization than you are, but keep practicing; I guarantee it will get easier. In fact you will find after awhile that the image in your head will seem so real to you that you may even get emotional about it, all the better. Emotion makes visualizing even more powerful so your aim is to clearly see yourself as if you have already accomplished your goal while emotionally experiencing the incredible joy and satisfaction that comes from bringing it to fruition. Many professional athletes do this on a regular basis as part of their training for that competitive edge. Now that's some powerful stuff. Can I hear a whoo hooo!!!

Happy parenting,

Monicka

Kid Goal Setting

Some things to bear in mind when helping your children set goals include:

1) Be careful when suggesting deadlines or time limits. When we get to the age where the months seem to fly by, it's easy to forget what time feels like to a child. Remember when two weeks seemed like an impossibly long time? Be sensitive to the age of your child when talking with him about time frames.

2) Have your children write their goals down – or help them with that if they are too young. Write down not only the goal itself, but also WHY it's important and what it will LOOK LIKE when it's achieved.

3) As much as possible, let your children be the ones to come up with the ideas for their own goals. If you need to make suggestions, be as sensitive as you can to their age and interests. Be especially sensitive about the "size of the goal". Children need to have big goals broken down into mini-goals so that they can see progress quickly, preferably on a daily basis. A goal to learn to spell five new words a week is better to focus on than winning the national Spelling Bee!

4) Work on the goal with your child – but don't take over! Make sure that your child can sense your interest and support, but be careful she doesn't think that you want to do it for her.

5) Set a good example by having written goals of your own and let your children see you working towards them regularly.

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Kids, Goal-setting and Setting up a Success Loop

Thinking about goals for grownups often brings to mind big things - a goal of a new job or career, a big financial goal, a new house or car. And how much self-believe a person has can affect their chances of achieving these big goals.

How do SMALL experiences for SMALL people either build or undermine a child's levels of self-belief, which they will then carry into adulthood?

If you simplify achievement as a sequence like this:

I want xyz -> I'm motivated to take action -> I achieve my goal

... then giving children the opportunity to repeat this sequence, over and over, with SMALL goals when they are very young, will build neural pathways that will give them more and more self-belief, so that as they grow they can confidently set bigger and bigger goals.

So don't think your child necessarily needs to set big goals - instead you can focus on providing them with small, simple experiences that help them experience over and over: I WANT -> I TAKE ACTION -> I GET.

For instance: Child: "I want to go to the park," -> Parent: "Good goal! To be able to go to the park, we need to clear up the breakfast dishes, put on our coats and boots, and walk to the park." Later: "We made it to the park! This is fun isn't it? We had a good goal!"

Or... Child: "I want xyz cereal," Parent: "Good goal! Let's make sure and eat all our abc cereal up, then we'll be able to go to the shops tomorrow and get xyz cereal."

And so on.

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Goals

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!

My daughter Savannah, who has Asperger’s, came home from school yesterday with a plan to save for a laptop computer. She already has a computer that works just fine, but decided that having a laptop would be so much better. I told her if she saved for half of it than maybe her Dad and her Grandparents and I would contribute the other half. I was surprised when she adamantly said, "No, I want to do this all on my own without any help!!!"

Frankly, I am a bit surprised that she wanted to do this all on her own. It just shows that she is growing up right before my eyes and is becoming quite the independent young lady. In the past she was not all that goal oriented, so this is a pleasant change.

Savannah's plan is to get a part time job this summer and also do extra chores in order to earn a little more for her allowance. One thing about my fifteen-year-old daughter that hasn't changed, is her determination. When Savannah makes up her mind to do something, she usually does it. Her little brother is all for her having a new computer and is cheering on her efforts, especially since he will be getting her old computer. :-)

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Talking about your goals

When you talk about Goal Setting with your kids, remember to get excited and show them with body language and facial expressions, as well as with your voice, how to get passionate and excited about things that are important to them.

So many of us adults lose passion as we grow older. Encourage your children to retain the enthusiasm of youth, and they will be more successful goal setters.

Watch your child to see how he communicates and what helps him understand. Does he understand better when you show him, when you tell him, or perhaps when he physically touches objects? Then you can help him by emphasizing that sense when you talk to him about his goals.

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie