Fake laughter is good medicine too.

I had mentioned a few posts back about my experience with the self development workshop that I went to. I learned so much about myself and was also taught many tools to use in the everyday world to keep myself on track. One of my favourite was a laughing exercise that you can use when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and works great for your kids too when they wake up with the grumpies.

The instructor said to make a habit when you get up in the morning of looking in the mirror and then making yourself laugh for three full minutes using a time of some kind. The term "fake it till you make it" works really well here because there is scientific evidence that your brain does not know the difference between a fake laugh and a real laugh. The same feel good endorphins are released and the same muscles are exercised and the even if the laughter is not genuine your brain and your body still gets the positive benefits.

Try this with your kids and it will not take long for you both to get into a happier mood. Laughter is not only good medicine, it is also contagious and just watching someone else have a good belly laugh can get you laughing and joining in on the fun.

Depression in Children

After a few days of feeling on top of the world my fifteen-year-old daughter seems to be down in the dumps today. Her first day on the job was very positive, so I was puzzled as to why she was feeling so blue. I was especially concerned because she was eating very little and seemed to be avoiding any contact with the family. I kept trying to find out what was bothering her but she refused to talk about it. I told her I couldn't help her if she didn't open up but she kept insisting that nothing was wrong. Well what can you do? As a parent it is sometimes very frustrating when our children refuse to talk about their problems. You sense that something is not quite right but you can't twist their arm to divulge.

Let your children know that they will always have a safe place to fall and no matter what happens you will always love them. Make sure they know that your door is always open if they want to discuss anything with you. My daughter knows she can come to me and I will support her but once again I cannot make her share if she doesn't want to. The best we can do as parents sometimes is try and be patient when it comes to our children, teenagers especially can be quite moody and most of the time it is just part of puberty. On the other hand if your teen seems to be down for more than a few days and refuses to talk about it, it may be time to get professional advice before it becomes full blown depression.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Teen Suicide

I was shocked to hear on CNN yesterday about the suicide deaths of three fifteen-year-old boys in a small town in Northern Ireland, all from the same school and all in the same month. Even more shocking is there is some evidence that the boys were part of an online suicide pact. As you can well imagine the town is in hysterics wondering if there are more deaths to come.

This just shows how important it is to know what is going on in our children's heads. Many parents have no clue that their children are depressed and contemplating suicide because kids are so good at hiding the pain. We all need to sit down with our kids and find out what is going on in their lives and if day to day stresses are getting the better of them. They want to please us and so may want to show us that they are handling things when that is not the case at all. Make a point to talk to your kids on a daily basis and look for signs that something may be bothering them. Sometimes there are subtle clues, we just need to look for them.

All the best

Monicka

Spanking

Cassie blogged a bit about spanking on Tuesday and I just thought I would add a bit more on that subject. The one and only time that I spanked my son he was five years old. I was having a very bad day and he was probably feeling my stress and refused to listen to me when I asked him to stop playing with some cards and get ready for bed. After asking him countless times he still refused to do what I had asked and so I raised my voice quite loud to show him I was serious and he picked up the cards and threw them at me. I lost my cool then and there and spanked him. He looked at me like I was a monster and then ran to his room crying hysterically. I felt so bad I went right to him and told him I was sorry and I would never do that again and I never did.

I realized that after the damage was done that there was a better way to discipline. I know at the time spanking seems like a quick fix and but in the long run it really doesn't fix anything. Sure it stops the child initially from doing something he shouldn't but studies show that children that are spanked are more likely to be aggressive, in fact a long term study in Ontario, Canada proved that spanking causes problems in adulthood including anxiety, major depression and drug and alcohol addiction.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Depression and Autism

Today is a very sad day for me. After having my friend Cassie here for the last few weeks I woke up this morning feeling like something was missing. Our friendship has become such an important part of my day and having her here in my country and my home was very special for me. I am literally having Cassie withdrawal. So yes I am a bit sad but I know that by tomorrow or Sunday I will be back to my old self. My daughter, who has Asperger's, sometimes, suffers from depression and I keep a close eye on her for any red flags. A bad day at school can sometimes exacerbate into full blown depression in the blink of an eye so if she seems like she is becoming withdrawn and spending a bit too much time in her room I make sure to check in with her to see what is going on. It is sometimes like pulling teeth to get her to talk about it but with a bit of encouragement or a game of hangman she will eventually tell me.


Depression is very common in autism and Asperger’s kids. Social withdrawal, lack of appetite and sleep disturbance is common in children on the spectrum and are also the core symptoms of depression, the disease can sometimes go undiagnosed and untreated. If you have any concerns your child may be depressed it is a good idea to talk to a professional as soon as possible.

All the best

Monicka