Goal Setting

Day five of my blogging challenge, and the topic for today is "goal setting." I read this awesome book on willpower and it inspired me to set a goal of my own; which is to improve my writing by blogging on a daily basis for a minimum of thirty minutes. By following a few of the suggestions in the book, such as setting aside an allotted time to work on whichever goal you choose. In that allotted time you don't have to work on your goal, but you can't do anything else. You can sit there and twiddle your thumbs or look off into space but that is about the extent of it. Another suggestion is to hold yourself accountable by telling someone close to you of your intentions. That way they can check up on you from time to time to see if you are following through and give you gentle nudge if you start dragging your butt : ) Willpower is just like a muscle and if you start using it on a regular basis it will get stronger - the caveat being; like a muscle if you use it too much you can burn it out - so start slow in the beginning.

You can help your child to set small attainable goals, but nothing too lofty or they could get discouraged. As they start realizing the smaller goals they will gain confidence and be able to set even bigger goals. Speaking of bigger goals I read an article yesterday about the importance of not setting your goals too small, but that is only when it comes to goal setting grown ups. I will tell you what that is all about in tomorrows blog. So until we meet again...

To help get your little ones started on their goals I am including this link to our kidsgoals goal setting ladder.

Happy Parenting and Goal Setting,

Monicka

Goals & Due Dates

Hello to readers of the kidsgoals blog:

It has been a few weeks since I have blogged and March is almost over so figured it was about time.:))

I finally got my act together and sent out the March newsletter. I was dragging my heels a bit because the article I chose for the newsletter while relevant, was sadly the last article Cassie wrote for kidsgoals. It all just seemed so final, and made it difficult to go forward. I decided to give myself a bit of a nudge and a deadline and made it a goal to get it out before the weekend. I was going to give myself two days, but once I got started I could not stop and finished it in a few hours. Funny how that works sometimes.

I have been really bad about procrastinating lately as much as that goes against the grain of what kidsgoals is all about. How can I tell my readers the importance of goal setting, when I can't seem to follow my own advice. Remember kids learn by example and I have not been setting a very good example!

I believe I am back on track now and for the April newsletter I am going to give myself a deadline with very little wiggle room. I find that once I write down a deadline I have a better chance of following through with the work involved in bringing the goal to fruition. Remember it isn't a goal until you give it a due date!

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

More on Believing is Seeing

The last few years of my life have been nothing short of amazing. In less than three short years I have been to the UK twice and have been to Paris,and now just recently I have been to Bahrain in the Middle East. If anyone would have told me this was going to happen five years ago I would have told them they were nuts. It was not in my realm of thinking and I just stayed in my own safe little box never even dreaming this could be possible. Once I decided that I wanted more, everything started to unfold right before my eyes.

I am proof that believing is seeing and by teaching this concept to your children you will be giving them the tools to realize their goals no matter how big they are. It is also important to dream big because as these quotes state so succinctly,

"All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible" - Orison Swett Marden

"Big goals get big results. No goals get no results or somebody else's results" - Mark Victor Hansen

Please keep in mind that it is OK to start your kids off with smaller goals, because the more they start to realize the smaller goals, they will start to truly believe that the loftier goals can also be brought to fruition.

Happy Goal setting,

Monicka

Skills that can help your child set and achieve goals

There are certain fundamental skills that will contribute towards success in many and varied pursuits. You may wish to review this list of key skills and ideas and see which ones you think will be of benefit to your child in his endevors.

* Vocabulary improvement
* Good spelling
* Good listening skills
* Social skills
* Reading, or speed reading for older children
* Fluency in arithmetic
* A second language

When we encourage our children to build key skills such as those listed above, they gain an edge which can help them to achieve many of their goals in the future!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids - Concentrate on What You Already Have

The danger with some goals, particularly large or difficult ones, is that your child can become overwhelmed and start to think too much in terms of what he doesn't have.

"Focus on your goal" and "focus on what you already have" do not have to be contradictory, although it can seem so at first glance.

When you encourage your child to set goals, a powerful technique you can teach him is to make a list of all the things, resources, skills and friends or contacts that he ALREADY HAS that can help him achieve his goal.

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids - Planning to Succeed

Goal setting for kids should be FUN and not a chore. Making a plan and taking action are integral parts of goal setting and goal achievement. It's important to teach your child that sometimes the first (or second, or third...) plan that he makes will need to change - and that is OK, not a "failure" but simply a learning step.

For instance, I made a plan for some creative writing that I'm working on. I felt it was a good plan and was looking forward to working it. However, during the first week I found that the time of day that I had planned to write was not working for me. Rather than continue to try to FORCE myself to write at an unsuitable time of day because that was what my plan said, I went back and started with a new plan!

Encourage your child to see this kind of experience as an integral part of the goal achievement process, not as a set back. Only by taking action and learning can we refine our plans and lay out a path to successful, FUN goal achievement!

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Goal Setting and Patience

I few days back I posted about my goal to tame my new pet, a wild Field Mouse called HazelMouse.

I caught this mouse at work - she had come in from the nearby fields as it was so cold outdoors. Unlike house mice, which tend to live in human buildings all year round, field mice usually only come into our houses during the winter. In any case, this little mouse came into our office and found some chocolate on the desk and nibbled at it! So I baited a (mouse-friendly) trap with chocolate and caught her.

She has a special home in my drawer at work and a special mouse-house at home, and I take her to and from the office with me and spend time playing with her each day. She is healthy and active and enjoys her food.

The great thing about this goal is that it truly meant a lot to me. Unlike a lot of goals such as work or career or financial goals, that often mean a lot to our logical selves, taming my lovely mouse was a goal that meant a lot to my HEART. It makes me FEEL GREAT when I see my mouse happily playing, eating and grooming, and when she comes up to sniff at my fingers rather than running away, it really makes me happy.

Encourage your kids to set goals that really make them feel passionate, or happy, or some other positive emotion when they are pursuing the goal. Herein lies the path to HAPPY goal setting rather than just ambitious goal setting. Both are good, but helping our children to find happiness during the pursuit of their goals will empower them more than most things in life!

Already, HazelMouse will sit tamely and calmly on my hand and have a wash. True evidence of the power of happy goal setting along with a bit of patience!

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids – You Are Not Alone

Goal Setting for Kids – You Are Not Alone

Goal setting can be quite a lonely process if your child thinks he has to do everything himself without help or support from others.

When our children set goals, sometimes they are competitive and this can enhance the feeling of “I’m alone on this one” – but goal setting never has to isolate our children from the outside world and the support of his family, friends, teachers or peers.

When your child sets a new goal, encourage him to think specifically about who could help or support him as he takes action towards his desired accomplishment.

• Is there a friend of the family who has useful experience, contacts or resources?
• Is there a friend at school who might enjoy working on a similar goal so that your child can pool his efforts and resources with a partner?
• Can he ask for advice or resources from a teacher, a local club or society, or at his local library?

Humans are social creatures and we achieve our greatest potential when we work in tandem with our fellow man. Goal setting does not need to be lonely!

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal Setting and Set Backs ... continued

When guiding your child through the goal setting process, a useful thing to do is to help him think about what obstacles he might encounter.

Positive thinking is a key part of goal setting, and it is crucial that your child learns positivity and self-confidence by setting and achieving goals (of any size) over and over during his formative years. Thinking about what obstacles may arise is not about being "negative" - it's simply a way of acknowledging when you set the goal that all will not necessarily be smooth sailing and that is OK.

As we mentioned in yesterday's post, set backs are normal and if you help your child to realise that, you will take some of the pressure off him.

Your child can anticipate some things that might interfere with him getting his goal, and you can help him brainstorm ways to deal with them. For example, if your child has a goal involving PE at school, he could realise in advance that forgetting his PE kit could interfere with his goal - and you could help him set up a way to minimize this - putting up a hook near the door to hang his PE bag on for example, so that it is easy to remember when he leaves the house.

Your child can enjoy the creativity involved in overcoming obstacles on the route to his goal, rather than pressure himself for being human and therefore imperfect!

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

The Screen of the Mind..

I mentioned a few blogs back about an amazing experience that I had with a self-discovery workshop that I had taken in January. The workshop was specifically designed to teach each student how to get to the Alpha brain wave state using a special guided imagery technique. After the Alpha state is achieved the student is then asked by the instructor to imagine a white screen, just like a regular theater screen. The purpose of the screen is to run a movie in your mind about how you desire your life to be. I found this exercise to be very profound for me because I had many amazing insights. Some of the things that I thought I desired did not appear on the screen. The reason I am talking about this technique is I was thinking it could be an excellent tool to use with your children to help them realize their goals.

Explain to your child that the mind is very powerful and can help us to realize our goals. Most people only use a small percentage of their minds and this is a way to use more of our mind. By getting very relaxed, perhaps by listening to soothing music or a even a short-guided mediation CD, we are able to use parts of our mind that will help us to realize the goals that we set for ourselves. When your child looks very relaxed ask him to pretend he is in a movie theater all alone and he is looking up at a big white screen. He is going to be the one who runs the movie and it will be all about the goal he has set for himself .He can imagine what it would look like when he has the goal he desires. Ask him to imagine how it feels, what it looks like, but to not say a word just imagine the movie on the screen is all about his own personal goal and how wonderful it would feel to have it. Instruct him to imagine what he would be feeling like when he realizes his goal and to keep seeing that vision on the screen.

Once your child is ready he can slowly get up and leave the theater and instruct him to count backwards in his head from 20-1 and when he reaches one he is to open his eyes.

Now the fun begins. Ask your child to describe in as much detail as possible what he saw on the screen and what kind of emotions he experienced. You may be surprised at how clearly your child can describe the experience and how excited he will be while he is telling you all about it. Young children are very good at visualizing as they still believe in magic and miracles and as we get older this seems to get more difficult. The beauty is though, as with most things, practice does make perfect.

This technique works best for children who are about eight to twelve as once they hit the teens many kids will not be open to trying it, but of course with all things there is always the exception to the rule.

I tried this with my son a few times and he really enjoyed it and said he would like to learn more about meditation.

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal Setting for Kids
Teaching your kids how to set goals and encouraging them in their efforts is a life-long gift that should be started as early as possible.

The more times that a child sets and achieves a goal - however small - the more she is likely to believe in herself and develop a confident personality!

Happy Goal Setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal Setting with Kids - Step by Step

Justin's goal of saving for a laptop that Monicka blogged about yesterday was a great example of how exciting goal setting can be for kids.

Monicka mentioned the importance of breaking a large goal down into smaller steps and I thought that this aspect is really worth thinking about.

At the ripe old age of 34, I find that a year is now a relatively short time. But I have not forgotten a time when a month seemed impossibly long! Do you find the same, as you get older?

Be sure to realize that when you guide your child in goal setting, it is absolutely crucial that he starts to have small successes early on. For example, once Justin has figured out exactly how much money he needs to save, that can be broken down into very small increments. If he gets his allowance weekly and his Dad can take him to the bank to deposit a few dollars, he will get regular, frequent feelings of achievement.

Early successes are essential for your child to build up a positive association with goal setting.

Happy New Year and happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie

Kids, Goals and Confidence

Kids, Goals and Confidence

The most successful adults that I know are not necessarily those that try hardest with goal-setting, or that read the most motivational books. They are the ones that have an inner CONFIDENCE that they will get what they want.

Every baby is born with his or her own personality, and you can’t MAKE your child be self-confident. But the interactions that you have with your child at a very young age do have a significant impact on his confidence.

From the earliest age possible, try to:

1) Take a genuine interest in the events in your child’s life – ask what happened at school or nursery, and then really listen. This shows your child that he has worth because he feels worthy of your attention.

2) Offer plenty of praise and encouragement.

3) Praise effort, skills and attributes as well as successes.

4) Show your child that you have confidence in his ability to do for himself by allowing him to perform age-appropriate tasks for himself without you “helping”.

5) Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions, and then respect them. (See Monicka's recent blogs about how she has been helping her daughter Savannah make some important decisions!)

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Goal Setting and Math for Kids

Goal Setting and Math

Basic arithmetic and math is a vital life skill and it is definitely worth checking that your child is developing these skills effectively.

I was surprised when my step daughter Sam and I talked about percentages the other day and we were talking about how to figure out 20% of 60. I explained that 10% of 60 is easy - 6 - so just double that and Bob's your uncle (as we say here in England :) ... Sam was quite excited about that shortcut and it made me wonder whether her math teacher at school had been pressing ahead with the "curriculum" without checking that the kids were practicing and understanding the basics first.

There's an article by our friend Susan on the website, that you might enjoy, about Goal Setting for Math

Goal Setting for Kids - Step by Step Goals

If your child sets a GREAT BIG HUGE GOAL, and you are worried that it is too ambitious, there is no need to rubbish his idea or "bring him back to earth" by telling him some home truths.

Instead, why not say, "That's GREAT - now let's think about what steps to take to achieve that goal."

Simply helping your child break a big huge goal down into little steps will give him manageable mini-goals to focus on, that will be more achievable and won't overwhelm him or put him off goal setting because it seems "too hard".

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids - Practice makes perfect

Goal Setting for Kids - Practice makes perfect

If your child has a sports-related or skill-related goal, a great lesson is to teach him the value of disciplined practice.

If he has set goals that he is truly passionate about, then he will enjoy the practicing part! He won't mind getting up before dawn to go on a sports fishing practice trip, or practising his soccer skills even when it's cold and rainy.

If your child has set a sports or skill goal and then seems reluctant to put in the necessary time and effort to get good at it, maybe you should consider encouraging him to set some new goals - perhaps ones that can really bring out his passion.

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids - Believing in your child

What should you do if you are encouraging your child to set goals and he comes back to you excitedly with something like "My goal is to be the best basketball player in the world!"

You and I both know that the chances of your child achieving this goal are slim. But you don't want to dash his hopes, and damage his self-esteem, by telling him "You'll never do that!"

No, your job is to believe in him. If you can't believe he'll achieve his goal, at least believe that he will...

1. Do his best!
2. Learn the value of practice and discipline.
3. Learn the value of working towards a goal.
4. Achieve something worthwhile.

... and eventually most of our kids will figure out for themselves that they aren't destined to be the top world champion in their sport - and they'll realize that their real goal is something else. In the meantime, give your kid the support and belief in himself that he is looking up at you for!

Happy goal setting with your kids,

Cassie

Goal setting and getting outside comfort zones

"Every speaker has a mouth;
An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet."

-- Robert Orben

Speaking is such a valuable skill that it is a great thing to encourage our children to learn at a young age. Here are some other ideas for helping your kids to grow outside of their comfort zone:

Pushing the envelope - goal setting for kids

Getting Your Kids Organized for Goal Setting

Now that the kids are back at school, it is a great time to help them to learn to be organized both with their homework and with their goal setting! Here are some ideas to start you off:

1. Give your child a corkboard. Corkboards are fabulous goal setting tools! You can quickly and easily stick up photos cut out of magazines, sketches or notes to do with your goals. It's a place to keep anything that relates to your goal quickly rather than it hiding in a pile of papers on the desk.

2. Teach your child to break goals into sub-goals and tasks. One of the key skills for goal setting is breaking a big goal down into manageable "bites". If you teach your child to have a proper checklist or to-do list for each goal, it will seem much more attainable.

3. Have a special place for goal setting. Every child should have a place that they feel is their own where they can have peace and quiet. It's essential for effective and productive homework and that place is ideal for spending time planning how to achieve their goals as well.

Watch out for our parent newsletter article coming soon on Getting organized for Goal Setting.

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

Goal Setting for Kids

It's not a Goal Without a Deadline!

We can say from costly experience that a goal without a deadline rarely gets completed. A deadline generates the motivation necessary for you to get yourself to take action. It's also an excuse for a celebration!

Have fun goal setting with your kids, and always remember that every single time that you take your child through the process of :

1. Setting a goal

2. Taking some action

3. Recognizing the result that he achieves

... you are building on his innate ability to succeed in all kinds of ways in the future - throughout his childhood and as an adult.

Cassie