Raising Teenagers

I have noticed the last little while that my fifteen year old son has not had a lot of time for me. I seem to push his buttons without even realizing and he has been very vocal about it. For you parents who are starting to feel like you cannot seem to do anything right in your child's eyes, join the club. You would think that after raising three kids to adulthood I would remember that I went through this before. More so with my daughter who is now 28, than my eldest son, but I did go through this experience before and should remember that this too shall pass.

Teenagers seem to need their space from their parents and it is the first sign of independence and is actually not a bad thing as long as it does not get out of hand. Your child needs to feel like he has choices and needs to feel that his privacy is respected. I have tried to make it a habit to always knock on my son's door after being reprimanded a few times about respect and privacy. Thinking back I most likely had the same feelings toward my parents but dared not voice it. Back then most children were not able to speak their mind without a major whooping, but now luckily our kids can feel safe enough to tell us how they are feeling.

So remember times have changed when it comes to parenting, but teenagers have not. Of course if your teen is blatantly abusive and a little too vocal you may want to discuss it with a professional as sometimes anger is a sign of depression and you should never take that lightly especially if it seems out of character.

The secrets our teens keep.

I was shocked when a friend of mine told me that a co/worker friend of his, just found out that his nephew committed suicide. The boy was only nineteen and no one had a clue that he was troubled and so all the adults are blaming themselves for not recognizing that the boy was suffering from depression.

When I think of my own sixteen year old daughter, I always clue in pretty quick when depression rears it's ugly head because she spends too much time in her room and doesn't seem to want to eat much. I could not understand how no one had a clue what was going on in this kids life? For one thing the toxicology report found that he was high on drugs and his family did not know he took drugs. They did know that he drank, but to the best of their knowledge, not to an excess. He seemed like a good kid, hard worker at his job, and no one was the wiser as to the inner torment this kid was actually going through.

Parents seem to be the last people to know what is going on in the lives of their teens. The signals are not always there and sometimes they may be so subtle that a busy parent may totally miss the signs of depression. Depression is insidious and can sneak up on a teen before they even know what is happening.

The signs of depression are there if you look carefully for them. It could be as simple as a teen sleeping more than usual or having trouble sleeping. His appetite may change where he seems to be eating more and gaining weight or not eating and losing weight. This is not a cookie cutter disease and just because one teen experiences depression one way, another teen may have totally different symptoms. The bottom line is depression is a disease and not something to take lightly. If you have a suspicion that your teen may be suffering with depression, get some help. If you can't get your teen to talk, talk to your family Dr. and get some advice before it gets out of hand.

Monicka

Teenagers, Communication and Depression

During teenagerhood, our kids are susceptible to depression. Modern life with its stress  can take a toll through school, work, and relationship difficulties. Your teenager has an excellent command of language but may need help in using it to communicate, especially if he or she shows signs of withdrawal.

It is very important during the teenage years to make sure that you have sufficient calm, one-on-one time to provide lots of opportunities for your teen to talk with you.

Sometimes doing an undemanding activity together - sweeping the yard, going for a drive, or walking the dog - will allow your teen to feel more comfortable talking, when you are side by side and engaged in an activity so that he or she can talk without feeling too exposed.

If you suspect your teenager may be displaying signs of depression, you may wish to read Monicka's article on Depression and Teenagers, and be sure to seek professional advice if your concerns continue.

Happy parenting with your teen,

Cassie

Teenage Depression

From time to time Cassie and I are asked to review books from certain authors. We are always very happy and honored when asked. The latest book is on a subject that is very close to me, teenage depression. I have a fifteen year old daughter who has Asperger's and is very susceptible to this debilitating illness. I have read a lot about this subject and so was especially thrilled when the author of "A Relentless Hope Surviving the Storm of Teenage Depression", Gary Nelson asked me to review his book.

I can honestly say that it is one of the best books I have ever read on this subject. The book is not only for the parents of depressed teens, it is also written for the depressed teenager. The author has experienced this illness with his son and is extremely knowledgeable on the subject of depression in teens. The book is a very enjoyable read with a lot of humour throughout and it will give families of depressed teenagers much needed hope.

Please note we will be having a contest in the near future on our kidsgoals website, and will be giving away two copies of this excellent book to our lucky subscribers. Check the website regularly for contest details.

Happy Parenting

Monicka