September issue on its way!

photo courtesy of morgefile.com

It is the first day of fall and the perfect time to send out the next issue of the kidsgoals newsletter. I have a good start on the September issue and I am gearing towards having it sent out before the end of the day. I am really proud of this months newsletter! It deals with children's self esteem and what you as parents and caregivers can do to help ensure your children develop a healthy amount. My dearest friend Cassie wanted parents to realize the huge role they played in this and it is why she created the kidsgoals website. I am dedicating this issue to her. There will also be a link to another article on "Positive Reinforcement" that I received a lot of positive feedback on.

Off topic for a bit...I have been a vegetarian since April 2011 and while the rest of my family have not quite jumped on the vegetarian bandwagon, they are at least willing to eat meat-free meals most of the week. When I find a vegetarian recipe that gets the thumbs up from the family I am over the moon happy :)) Check out the kid's recipe section where I will share with you a hummus recipe that my son and I have perfected. Hummus is a totally vegan snack the whole family loves - if you haven't tried it, I suggest you do. It packs a nutritional punch, has loads of fiber, is easy to make and bonus, it tastes absolutely delish!!

So... on that note I wish you all a safe and happy weekend! Look for September's issue of the newsletter in your inbox shortly. Please note - only subscribers to the Kidsgoal's newsletter will receive a copy, so if you haven't subscribed yet, what are you waiting for?? It is totally free and only takes a few seconds of your time.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Support and Friendship

Thank goodness for my dear friend Cassie. She is always there to make me start believing again when I am having doubts and to prop me up when I feel like I can no longer stand on my own two feet without help. Just recently she helped me through a rough patch where I was having a lot of doubts. Our friendship means the world to me and I would be lost without it. She offers me support and guidance and sometimes just lets me vent.

Friendship is also vital to your children. Most children especially teens will not necessarily confide in their parents or other family members if they are having problems, but will usually tell a good friend. Your kids need to know that you are there for them if they are ever in trouble but some kids just keep secrets from their parents and it is not because you are a bad parent. It is just what kids do. That is why it is so imperative for them to have a friend they can lay their troubles on.

If you think that your children may be having problems making friends it is a good idea to ask them if they are happy with the friendships in their lives? If you word it that way they will feel better about telling you if they are having problems rather than asking them if they have any friends, which will make them feel like something is wrong with them if they don't have any friends to speak of. There are many things that you can do as a parent to help in this area, but if nothing seems to work it may be time to talk to your child's teacher or even to seek professional help as it may be a self esteem issue, that needs to be dealt with. Check out this article on How to Help Your Child Make Friends!

Happy Friendships,

Monicka

Tips to end procrastination

In Monday's blog I wrote about the connection between procrastination and low self esteem and how negative feelings about yourself can affect how your child feels about himself. Today we are going to deal with ways to help you stop putting things off, which will not only benefit you, but also your children so can will become little people that will walk their talk.

If you tend to procrastinate because of fear of failure it is vital that you learn not to let the fear paralyze you; instead feel the fear and do it anyway. Try to concentrate on the outcome you want and picture that exactly how you want it to be. Fear is only false evidence appearing real in your mind, but it can keep you from moving forward because it is not a comfortable feeling by any means. If you can just nudge yourself past it a tiny bit, there are always lots of goodies on the other side.

If you have been avoiding things for quite awhile you may have a backlog of things piled up that are weighing you down and you do not know where to even begin. Take the time to write down each one and once that is done, prioritize them. What is most important to you or what needs to be done first or even what can I do first so that I can get the ball rolling. It doesn't matter how you prioritize your list, what is important is to make it doable for you. Now that you have done that do the first thing on the list. Don't think about it just do it, then move onto the next one on the list. You will find that as you start accomplishing things on your list you will start feeling better about yourself and before you know it the list will be fait accompli.

Finally don't delay. When you delay with your plans, worry and doubt start settling in and that can be detrimental to your self esteem. The best solution is to act on it without thought and just like any muscle you haven't used in awhile, the more you use it the stronger it gets and procrastination will be a thing of the past.

Happy Follow Through,

Monicka

Self Esteem and Procrastination

There is a definite correlation between how you feel about yourself or your self esteem and procrastination. If you avoid the things that you know you should be doing or have promised yourself you are going to do, you may not only be letting others down, but you are also letting yourself down. If you cannot count on yourself to follow through, who the heck can you truly count on?

Procrastinating has a domino effect on your self esteem. By not doing things you say you are going to do, you start to feel powerless and that nothing is ever going to get better. Your self confidence suffers and you feel like you cannot move forward in your life.

People tend to procrastinate for a myriad of reasons, some of which are fear of failure, and avoiding an uncomfortable situation. If your children see you constantly putting things off that you say you are going to do they are going to quickly start mirroring your behavior, so it is very important that you figure out what is holding you back.

The next blog will deal with how to do just that but for now, don't beat yourself up, instead do a bit of soul searching and see what is causing you to procrastinate and nine times out of ten it is not laziness.

Happy Following Through,

Monicka

A message in the lyrics.

Music is something I could never live without. There are times when a song will play and I am transported to another time and place. Music has the power to make us sad or happy or a myriad of other emotions. Think about your first break up and the song that you played over and over again driving your family and friends crazy. For me it was "Love Hurts" by Nazareth because the words discribed the way I was feeling better than I could myself.

Lately a song by Natashia Beddingfield has been getting a lot of airplay. The song is called "Unwritten" and the words make you want to leave your fears and worries behind and be happy to just be you. With this in mind I copied some of the lyrics for anyone who has never had the pleasure of hearing this powerful song. Google Unwritten lyrics or better yet listen to the song the next time it plays and think about YOU, and how you are special and no one in the world will ever be just like you. Play the song for your kids and let them get the message the singer is trying to get you to hear. Heck, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Happy Listening.
Monicka
Unwritten
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Natashia Beddingfield

Can too Much Praise Harmful to Children???

I have always believed in giving my kids all the praise I can, thinking as I am sure a lot of parents do that it would be good for their self-esteem. Now I am going to have to do a bit of rethinking about this because a recent study suggests that too much praise can actually do some harm and make a child afraid of failure.

As quoted by ABC News report "For the study, researchers divided 128 fifth-graders into groups and gave them a simple IQ test. One group was told it did really well and must be very smart. The other group was told it did really well and must have worked hard. One group was praised for intelligence, the other for effort.

Asked if they wanted to take a slightly harder test, the kids praised for their intelligence were reluctant. Of those praised for their effort, however, 90 percent were eager for a more challenging task. And on a final test the effort group performed significantly better than the group praised for its intelligence.

Many of the kids who had been labeled "smart" performed worst of all. The "hard workers" got the message that they could improve their scores by trying harder, but the "smart" kids believed they should do well without any effort. "

So the bottom line is that praising a child did not give them more confidence or make them perform any better.

It is actually better to be honest with your kids if they do not perform well. Praise should be more for their effort, their concentration and their strategies.

I don't know about you but for me this is easier said then done!!!!

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Put Yourself First???

The topic on the Oprah show today was "Putting Yourself First" The guest speaker said that our children learn how to treat themselves, not by the way that we treat them but rather the way they see their Mother treat herself. If you want your kids to love themselves then you have to show them that you love not only them but yourself also. It all goes back to the article I blogged about earlier this week about "Potential" and how we influence our children's self- esteem by how we feel about ourselves.

I have always put my kids and my husband first. It is something that I learned from my Mother and frankly it is all I know. I guess if we really want to do the best for our children then we need to look at the big picture and learn to do the best for us. Not always so easy to do though. :-)

All the best

Monicka

Self Esteem and Loving Affirmations for Children

Children's brains are more plastic than those of adults. Although recent research indicates that adult brains have much more ability to change and develop than was previously believed, it is still true that a child's brain is changing and growing very rapidly indeed.

So imagine how much of a wonderful effect positive, loving affirmations can have on these young minds.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Child self esteem and desire

There are lots of ways to build our childrens' self-esteem.

One place to start might be to help them have a goal - a strong desire for something, which you can then help them to believe in.

You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite. Before you can achieve anything, you must know what you really, really want.

A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person's desires - your child's. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to a significant degree, as young adults are swayed much more by their peers' opinions than their parents'.

So make the most of the early years by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child's further education and career much more than her innate ability.

How can you instil desire? Telling stories is a great way. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child's life and experiences as much as you can.

The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to instil in his almost-deaf son both a burning desire to hear, and a firm belief that his disability would actually bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time this boy left college, he had against the odds acquired a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time in his life. More remarkably, he had justified his father's belief by securing a marketing position with the hearing aid manufacturer to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.

Check out the KidsGoals article on child self esteem for more ideas!

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

Self- Esteem and Potential

I just read an article that was a little disconcerting, but it hit home just how powerful our thoughts are when it comes to our brain and how successful we become in life. According to a McGill university study; the brain scans of 92 people were recorded over a period of 15 years and the ones with negative self-esteem were starting to shrink away. Surprisingly, their brains became 20% smaller than those with more self confidence. They also performed significantly worse in memory and learning tests. There is also scientific evidence that low self-esteem is the source of chronic depression, lack of motivation, negative thinking and procrastination-- all things that keep us from realizing our dreams and goals.

This article made me realize how important it is that our children have a healthy self-esteem in order to reach their full potential. Whether we choose to admit or not we as parents and caregivers play a huge role in this. Since children learn by example, how we feel about our own self worth will be passed on to our children.

All the best

Monicka

5 Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party

Hello all!

Today Monicka and I have something very exciting to share with you - a Blog Party! It's hosted by a wonderful blog called "5 minutes for Mom" (but EVERYONE is welcome to the party) - just click on the cool logo on your right to visit the party.

We're looking forward to mingling with lots of other bloggers (Moms and others) so please join in the fun.

We also thought it would be a great opportunity to launch our new "Affirmations for Kids" CD, and give away 10 copies as part of the party. Watch out for more details about this awesome CD, Monicka's little boy Justin has been using it and it has given him a great boost to his self-esteem and confidence at school. We'll post more about that tomorrow!

cyberhugs,

Cassie

Tell your children how special they are...

Today let's meditate on these special words ... and remember to tell each of the children in our lives how special they are

"Children of the World" by Pablo Casals

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again . . . And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France.

When will we also teach them what they are?

We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move.

You may become a Shakespeare, a Michaelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel?

You must work - we must all work - to make the world worthy of its children. . .