What Doesn't Kill You...

First of all I have to say once again, I am soooooo proud of my son!!!! He did it! As nervous and scared as he was he donned that great big gorilla suit and went out there and gave it his all. I sat at home on pins and needles and sent him all the love and support I could muster, albeit telekinetically. I also found that by going to the hockey teams website I could listen to the game online which was a little frustrating because I knew with every pause in the play it would be that much longer for my son to stay in the suit. Finally feeling stressed to the limit I figured a good workout was in order and jumped on the treadmill for half an hour.

Long story short he came home exhausted but elated! Who would have thunk it? As miserable as it was wearing the costume and hardly being able to see he actually had a good time and wants to do it again next Saturday. He said it seemed really surreal, and while he was in costume he could look at this as if he was an actor in a play. So for 2.5 hours he was"Kong," mascot of the Salmon Arm Silverbacks hockey team. Sometimes it was a little annoying as some of the younger kids tried to jump into his arms or hang from him for a photo op and he had to pretty much grin and bear it. He also said he had never been so hot in his life and his gym shorts and t-shirt were soaked through and through as evidence.

This morning he was no worse for wear and I even noticed a subtle change in his demeanor -he walked a little taller and was in really good spirits. He even said he slept like a rock!

I so hoped that this would turn out to be a positive experience for him and from what I can see it was that and more. He proved something to himself and I truly believe seeds of confidence have been planted. I am so looking forward to watching his self-esteem grow in leaps and bounds as the hockey season progresses.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Forigiveness cont....

On Wednesday's blog I wrote a bit about the importance of teaching your children forgiveness, and how crucial it is to put past hurts aside so they can move forward. Forgiveness is powerful stuff and the discovery workshop I took last weekend emphasized just how important it was to forgive others who have let you down and hurt you, but in actuality the most important person to forgive is yourself. How many times have you let yourself or others down and then felt guilty about it. Teach your children that guilt is a very toxic emotion and one we need to rid ourselves because it keeps us from truly loving others and ourselves.

Kids can be so hard on themselves and tend to blame themselves when things are not right in the family and this chips away at their self esteem. It is imperative to sit down with your children and teach them how to set the guilt free and forgive and love themselves. I learned a very powerful exercise in the workshop I took, but teaching your children to drop the guilt and forgive themselves can be as simple as substituting guilt with motivation by emphasizing and calling attention to what your children are doing right, not what they are doing wrong. Praise them every chance you get and also make sure to give them lots of hugs!!!

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Empathy and Self Esteem for Children

We all know what empathy is, but did you realize that there are some really easy, simple ways you can incorporate using it in your day-to-day interactions with your child, to powerfully build their self-esteem?
Check out this article for ideas and real-life examples:
Empathy and Self Esteem for Children

Kids Crafts and Self Esteem

Kids Crafts and Self Esteem

Craft activities can be a great way to entertain your kids - cheaply and easily! Even the youngest child can enjoy art and craft activities, and the satisfaction of creating something unique is great for your kids' self-esteem.

When your child shows you something he has made or drawn, resist the temptation to ask "what is it?" - try instead "Tell me about this" - it will enable your child to talk very freely about his creation rather than just giving you a closed answer, and will also remove the pressure of feeling like he "must create something recognizable" - which isn't necessarily the point of art, as many grown up abstract artists will confirm!

Happy Craft making with your kids,

Cassie

Child self esteem and courage - toddlers

Building your child's self esteem by teaching him courage: The Toddler Years

When your baby starts to walk, this is a key stage in learning courage. He will inevitably take a few tumbles, and your reaction can play a big part in what he learns about dealing with mishaps, fear, bravery and risk taking.

It's all about finding a balance. Any extreme is dangerous. For instance, if your toddler falls and hurts himself, and you immediately rush to him in a panic, he will learn to react badly to setbacks.

On the other hand, if you don't react at all when he hurts himself, he learns that his cries for help are ignored and becomese insecure.

The best balance is to react with calm reassurance to any mishaps. When he takes a tumble, pause for a moment rather than reacting instantaneously. If he's not really hurt and looks to you for reassurance, you can simply say cheerfully, "oops! Try again!" On the other hand if he becomes very upset, it's important to react and give him as much comfort as he needs - but in a calm way. Let him cry for a while if he needs to, don't hush him, just be there to let him express his upset in the safe environment of your arms!

Happy self esteem building with your child!

Cassie

Courage and Self Esteem for kids

Building your kids' self esteem is a really important part of being a parent. Courage is an integral part of self esteem - the ability to push through obstacles and anxiety, to take action EVEN when you're scared.

It's easy to mislead kids about what exactly courage is. The danger is that in trying to teach our child to be courageous, they think that there is something "WRONG" in feeling scared, or expressing fear.

It's a good idea to encourage your kids to say when they are scared, and reassure them that it is OK to tell you that, and find ways to help them take action on their goals and tasks in spite of the fear.