Not Enough Time

Most parents with small children can probably empathize with what I'm going through this past week or two. A scarcity of time! Things have been going mental at work, and on top of that we had an office move which meant I was working all weekend.

The saddest thing about being so busy is that I've had hardly any time to spend with my dearest friend and partner Monicka. It got me to thinking how sad it must be for both parents and kids when they experience such busy times - especially if the kids start thinking that the parents don't want to spend time with them.

I think that the important thing is to at least take the time to get down to a young child's level and explain honestly why we are in such a rush, and to reassure them that we still love them. All kids deserve at least this much, and it must be even harder for autistic children to understand, with the communication difficulties that they sometimes have. They might not understand from your body language that you're feeling frazzled and you might need to remember to spell it out - even for older kids!

Here's hoping for a less stressed week next week!

cyberhugs,

Cassie

When You Know Better

When my youngest daughter was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at the age of thirteen, my first initial reaction was relief. Not because I wanted her to have a label pinned to her for the rest of her life, but more so because I finally had somewhere to turn. I had always suspected my daughter was not quite like other children but until the diagnosis I did not have a clue how to parent her. Suffice to say there were times when I just thought she was being stubborn and was not as patient and loving, as I should have been. Having never dealt with this in my other children it was all trial and error for me and I regret to say I did not always do the right thing when it came to my daughter.

The night of the diagnosis, I wept uncontrollably and felt totally inadequate as a parent. What if I did the wrong thing and didn’t help her to develop to her highest potential? I knew our lives would never be the same and I had to learn new ways to parent her in order to help her thrive.

This was all a bit daunting and a huge responsibility but I found so much support and information available to me that I knew in my heart we were going to be OK. I realized is better to know than to be in the dark when it comes to having your child diagnosed with Autism or an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

My daughter at fifteen is thriving and we are developing a great relationship. There are still days when I catch myself and have to reevaluate how I communicate with her because she is a teenager and that in itself has its challenges.

My advice to any parents who have children who have Autism or fall in the Autism spectrum is to learn everything you can. There are special programs that will help your child and also a lot of support for you and your family. To quote Maya Angelou, “When you know better, you do better.” Knowing is half the battle and will help ensure that you do the very best for your child.

Happy Parenting
Monicka

Goal Setting and Social Skills

Some children are natural socializers and fit in with other kids with ease - without even thinking about it.

But many are not so lucky. Shy kids, kids who have had to move a lot and in particular kids with some type of autism may find it difficult to interact with their peers.

For kids that have these kind of difficulties, it can feel sad, scary or even depressing to go to school, play with others at the park, or meet new people.

Goal setting can help with these problems as it can with many others. Encourage your child to take baby steps and set achievable goals. It might be a good idea to avoid goals that require a lot of input from others like "I'm going to have a best friend who will walk to school with me every day," or "I'm going to be voted president of my sports club," - rather, focus on what your child can achieve by taking baby steps towards better social skills all on his own. For instance, "I'm going to remember to give my three favorite people at school a big smile at least four times this week!"

Help your child develop his social skills with mini-goal setting like this and maybe in a year's time he really will be able to have the best friend he has been dreaming of!

Happy goal setting with your kids!

Cassie