Getting Kids into School Mode

It is hard to believe but in a few days school will be starting again much to the chagrin of our children. Getting your kids back in gear for school may seem like a daunting task but it does not have to be. Try and get them to focus on the positive such as new clothes for school and the chance to see classmates they haven't seen since summer. as well as meet new kids which may lead to new friendships.

It may be a bit of a drag for your child to be back on a schedule and have to go to bed earlier and get up earlier,but try and get them to see the benefit of getting more rest and how that will help have more energy and a better chance of doing well in their studies.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

The Dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup and Other Additives- Are you reading the labels?

With the growing problem of childhood obesity many parents are starting to get very concerned about what they are feeding their children. There is now a definite link between what we feed our kids now and how it will impact their health in later years. An overweight child has an increased chance of becoming an obese adult and along with that a myriad of other serious health problems.

One of the biggest concerns lately has been the use of high fructose corn syrup and its possible link to diabetes and high cholesterol. It is used as a sweetener in soft drinks, frozen desserts like ice cream and popsicles, fruit drinks and other processed foods. It is preferred by manufacturers because it provides the sweetness of sugar but it is a heck of a lot cheaper.

We know that we should limit the amount of sugar in our children's diets by lowering the amount of soft drinks, candy and other treats we give our children, but high fructose corn syrup can even be in something as innocent as spaghetti sauce or even low fat fruit flavoured yogurt, so it is a good idea to become a label reader. Stay away from products where high fructose corn syrup is listed in the ingredients if at all possible.

Another additive to keep an eye out for is soy - apparently it is now even being added to popsicles (ice lollies)  While the jury is still out on whether soy is good or bad for us - just google the word soy and you will find a cornucopia of articles either calling it a super food or saying it is poison - what's up with that???  Quoting a Globe and Mail article" a reader asks...

"I’ve heard that soy is good for you - but I've also read that’s it’s harmful to eat too much soy. Is it really bad from me? What should I believe?"

"You're right: You’ll find plenty of information on the Internet touting the health benefits of soy. But among the soy advocates there are also critics who warn that too much soy is harmful to infants, interferes with thyroid function, and may cause cancer."

So who are we to believe??? One thing for certain is soy is listed as one of the top eight allergens of children and if your child has an allergy to peanuts, there is a good chance they are allergic to soy also.  So all Moms and Dads must become avid label readers! - Keep in mind manufacturers are adding soy to thousands of everyday foods, cosmetics and industrial products such as inks, cardboard, paints, cars and even, get this mattresses :( Here is an article by Dr. Mercola to get more info on the downside of " unfermented" soy.

Bottom line whether you believe soy is healthy or not you have to agree it doesn't belong in popsicles and neither does high fructose corn syrup!!!

So... to leave things on a good note, we found this delicious healthy popsicle recipe (thanks T for the link)  sans the soy and high fructose corn syrup - enjoy :)









Happy Parenting

Spend Time With Your Kids

Spending time with your kids doesn't have to be a big deal. You don't have to spend a lot of money or do anything out of the ordinary. Kids love to be with you and even if it is just for half an hour a day, you have to remember it is quality not quantity that really counts. Try sitting down with them and talking about their day when they get home from school. or cuddle up and read a book or watch a program they enjoy.

Show them that you are really interested in being with them and never do it out of guilt because they will read you like a book. By showing your child you actually enjoy being with them and they count you are giving them a big boost to their self esteem and showing them that they have value.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Self esteem for children

If your child is good at something - and ALL children are! - then it would be a fantastic boost for his self esteem if you were to arrange for him to perform or "show off" in front of an appreciative group.

A local boy in the town of Bicester, near where I live, did just that last week and was reported in the local press. Michael, aged 7, is a talented pianist and was invited to perform at the Bicester senior citizens' club. The old folks loved Michael's performance. The center manager commented, "Michael was just delightful as well as a wonderful musician."

Michael's mother said he loved playing for the people, and commented how good it was for him to have the opportunity to perform in front of a group rather than just at home for his family.

The folks at Bicester center loved Michael's playing so much, they have asked him to come again.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Cooking with your child

The benefits of cooking with your child include:

• Provides quality bonding time with our children
• Builds positive self image
• Encourages self-discipline
• Rewards hard work and diligence
• Promotes eye-hand coordination
• Cultivates a love of learning
• Fosters cooperation with others
• Encourages their imagination

Here are a couple of nice easy recipes to cook with your child and to encourage them to increase their fruit intake!

APPLE CRUMBLE
4 cups apple slices, peeled
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup oats, rolled (raw)
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup butter

Put apples in shell baking dish and sprinkle with lemon juice. Combine dry ingredients, add melted butter and mix until crumbly. Sprinkle crumb mixture over apples. Bake at 375°F for 30 minutes or until apples are tender. Makes six servings. Serve with crème fraiche yoghurt or whipped cream.

STRAWBERRY BANANA SMOOTHIE
Quick and healthy snack that teens can make in a flash

1 large banana
2 handfuls of ripe strawberries
4 heaping Tbsp of unsweetened applesauce
6-10 cubes of ice

Add ice and the applesauce first (applesauce provides the liquid necessary in the crushing of the ice). Crush the ice until substance is smoothie-like, and then add the other ingredients. Enjoy!!!

Happy cooking with your child!

What Makes Young People Happy?

Have you ever wondered what really makes young people happy?? Could it be money, or the latest fashion or a new car or the newest technical gadget?? Well actually, it is none of the above. Apparently what makes your teen the happiest is spending time with their family.

According to the results of a survey conducted by Associative Press and MTV, asking teens and young adults 13 to24, 100 questions, when asked the open-ended question, what makes them most happy? Nearly three quarters of them said their relationship with their parents makes them the happiest, followed by spending time with friends and finally with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

That should be a lesson to all of us when we think our teens and 20 something children don't want to be around us. Nothing could be further from the truth. So that is today's lesson. Spend time with your teens and adult children. They really want to be with you.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Teenage Depression

From time to time Cassie and I are asked to review books from certain authors. We are always very happy and honored when asked. The latest book is on a subject that is very close to me, teenage depression. I have a fifteen year old daughter who has Asperger's and is very susceptible to this debilitating illness. I have read a lot about this subject and so was especially thrilled when the author of "A Relentless Hope Surviving the Storm of Teenage Depression", Gary Nelson asked me to review his book.

I can honestly say that it is one of the best books I have ever read on this subject. The book is not only for the parents of depressed teens, it is also written for the depressed teenager. The author has experienced this illness with his son and is extremely knowledgeable on the subject of depression in teens. The book is a very enjoyable read with a lot of humour throughout and it will give families of depressed teenagers much needed hope.

Please note we will be having a contest in the near future on our kidsgoals website, and will be giving away two copies of this excellent book to our lucky subscribers. Check the website regularly for contest details.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Finding Your Child's Passion :))

The other night I watched a docudrama about Jean-Francois Champollion the French Scholar Linguist who was the first person to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics. Even as a child of eleven Champollion had dreams of visiting Egypt and discovering the secrets of the ancient Egyptian writings.

I was thinking as I watched the program how dedicated Champollion was to his goal and the white hot passion he would have had to have to keep the dream alive for so many years. Sadly, Champollion died in his early forties but his dream to visit Egypt came to fruition. He was known as the Father of Egyptology and is best known for deciphering the Rosetta Stone.

In most cases as a child ages he starts to lose passion for the things he loves. We as parents and caregivers need to ask ourselves what we can do to keep that passion burning in our children's hearts and minds? Maybe not to the extent of Champillion but research from the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of "Flow" finds a direct link between passionate interest and true happiness. So it is important to help keep your child's dreams alive.

Watch your child when he is playing. See what he is drawn to and what makes him happy, keep in mind these will change as he gets older. Try exposing him to different cultures, museums, art, sports and other activities. Look at your child's strengths and interests. Let your child be an individual by not making him participate in the same activities that his siblings are involved in, unless he really shows enthusiasm for it.

Finally, it is very important not to impose your dreams on your children for that is a sure fire way for them to lose interest

Teaching your child skills for success

Your child is going to learn a lot at school - English, Math, Geography and much more. But there are a lot of SOFT SKILLS that don't get taught very much - or in some cases at all - in any structured way at schools.

Some of these include:

Goal setting
Problem solving
Listening
Visualizing Goals
Managing their emotions and emotional state
Focus/Concentration
Using their Imagination


... I'm sure you can think of others. All of these soft skills are extremely useful and can be learned much more successfully by a young child than if they wait until they are adults.

The KidsGoals website is all about helping you teach your children skills for success. If these kind of topics interest you, please consider signing up for our Parenting Newsletter in which we address many of these topics.

Happy Parenting,

Cassie

Positive Parenting Talk - Positive Vocabulary for your Child

Have you ever noticed how many more negative than positive words we tend to use in our daily language? For instance, I bet you could think of 10 different ways to say you're in a bad mood today, "annoyed", "fed up", etc etc etc. But people tend not to use such a large variety of words when it comes to positive emotions.

So today's idea is to help your child to develop a wide variety of vocabulary to describe positive emotions. You can simply get a list of words and then use them as a spelling practise!

Here are a few suggestions to start you off:

blessed
blissful
blithe
cheerful
chipper
chirpy
contented
delighted
ecstatic
elated
exultant
glad
gleeful
gratified
jolly
joyful
joyous
jubilant
lively
merry
mirthful
overjoyed
perky
pleased
sparkling
sunny
thrilled
tickled pink
upbeat

Happy parenting,

Build Your Child's Self Esteem - Accepting compliments

A lot of people with low self-esteem have problems graciously accepting compliments. You can help your child develop this skill with a game that is a variation on "Spin the Bottle".

Here's how it works - you sit in a circle and spin a bottle. When the bottle stops, the spinner's job is to say something nice about the person the bottle is pointing at. With very young children you might want to prompt them with one or two little formulas such as "I like [name] because he/she..." or "[name] is really good at..."

The child being complimented just says Thank you (no rebutting of the compliment allowed!) and then it is their turn to spin the bottle.

If the bottle ends up pointing directly back at the spinner, the rules are still the same, the spinner has to say something nice about themselves ("I like me because...", etc) and then they get to spin again.

Happy parenting

Cassie

Build Your Child's Self Esteem

Some ideas to help build your child's self esteem: Know what I'm good at.

Have you noticed how so many of us think we are good at less and less things, the older we get? If you try asking a group of kindergarteners, "Who here can draw?", I'll bet you most of the hands will go up.

Not so likely if you ask the kids at secondary school - and adults?! - even less!

To help conserve this early "optimism", talk to your child often about things he is good at. Help him to understand that it is okay to say he is good at things, and ask him often to think about and talk to you about what he enjoys doing and does well!

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Exercises for babies / kid exercise

If you like sarcastic humor, you might have a giggle when you read this book review: http://www.artybees.co.nz/bizarre-book-pages/everyhome-exercises-for-your-baby.htm

I happened across it while randomly surfing the internet and it brought back memories for me! I remembered finding this very book in the library when I was 13 years old and my brother was just a baby. I thought it was super and used to do daily little exercises with him, "bicycling" his tiny legs and helping him do mini-situps!

The person writing the review has a very good point right at the end though: "If you have ever had kids or even babysat, you'd know you generally can't keep the little guys still, all you have to do is turn your back for one moment and they're gone."

Gotta laugh!

For less tongue-in-cheek ideas on exercise for kids and babies, you might be more interested in Exercise for Kids on the Kids Goals website.

The Early Bird verses the Night Owl

Cassie and I are the best of friends and our personalities are very similar, which makes working with her on kidsgoals a breeze. We are both like minded and never seem to disagree about anything. There is only one thing where we are not quite on the same wave length, and that is our sleeping patterns. Cassie is definitely a morning person and is usually in bed by 9 PM or earlier and up at 6 AM, while I am a definitely a night owl and I am lucky to make it to bed by midnight. Luckily my husband is also a night owl and my children during the holidays prefer to go to bed later and sleep in the next day.

When Cassie visited me in Canada I followed her lead and started going to bed when she did and also to wake up when she did. It was nice because the days seemed to last longer and since she was only here for two weeks I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Alas, when she went back to the UK I went back to my old habits rather quickly. Cassie is very rigid when it comes to her sleep hygiene and I know she is appalled at my lack of it.

Recently I came across an article in "Psychology Today" that it may be better to be an early bird. According to the article people who are early to bed and early to rise are more agreeable than their counterparts. Not to mention according to a study by Pennsylvania University, adolescents who stay up late and then sleep in are more likely to have behavioral problems.

So Cassie my dearest friend you are right on the money after all!!! I probably won't ever be a morning person naturally, but for the sake of my children, I am starting to think that a better sleep schedule for this family may be just what the Dr. ordered. Not to mention the new school year will be starting up soon and the quicker I get my kids used of a regular sleep routine the easier it will be on them and me.

Happy Parenting,:-)

Monicka

Kids Crafts

A fun craft for kids, GRASS MONSTER, by Justin (age 9)

(To see Justin’s diagrams for this craft, please visit http://www.kidsgoals.com/grass-monster-craft.shtml)
What you need:

• Grass seeds
• A mug
• A sock
• A bit of dirt
• A rubber band
• 4 buttons
• Pins
• A plate of water

Instructions
1. Place the sock over the mug
2. Put the grass seeds in the mug
3. Put in the dirt
4. Carefully take out the sock
5. Tie a rubber band on the top of the sock
6. Snip a piece off the top of the sock
7. Place the buttons on with some pins
8. Put the Grass Monster on the plate and wait for it to grow

Please visit the link for more great kids' crafts!

Back to School Sleep Hygiene for Kids

School time is fast approaching. Have you started preparing your children for the earlier starts that they need to make during term time?

Some top tips to help you help your kids re-adjust their sleep ready for a fresh school year:

• Start moving sleep back to normal at LEAST 10 days before school is due to start.
• Stick to a proper sleep hygiene 7 days a week - don't allow your kids to stay up later than normal on the weekends. It confuses their body-clocks.
• If you haven't already, create a pleasant and relaxing bedtime routine Reading is always good, and something you can do together no matter what the age of your children.
• Keep the bedroom cool and quiet, with dim lights.
• No PC, TV or video games in the bedroom
• Don't allow use of TV or computer in the hour leading up to bedtime.

If you follow these good sleep hygiene suggestions, your kids have a great chance of building up some refreshing sleep ready for an energised start to the school year!

Happy sleeping,

Cassie

Dreams and Babies

In Mondays' blog I talked about how important dreams are to our health and well- being. Babies also benefit from dreaming and studies have shown that babies spend 66% of their sleeping time in REM state and premature babies spend 80% of their sleep time in dream state. Researchers believe that there may be a correlation between the dream state and brain development.

Many new parents find out soon enough that their babies sleep cycles are much shorter than an adults and it takes time for those cycles to get longer and for your baby to learn how to fall back to sleep on his own if he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Dream On

Cassie and I love to analyze each others dreams. We have a dream dictionary and we try and find out what our dreams are trying to tell us. Whether you believe dreams are significant or not research has shown that people who are deprived of the dream phase of sleep or (REM) will become irritable and feel anxious. In one study volunteers were woken up before they entered the dream state and then were allowed to fall back asleep. This was repeated through the night. All the volunteers were allowed to sleep the same amount of hours they normally did. The next day the volunteers were observed as being disoriented, depressed, crabby and quick tempered and some ate more than ususual. As the study continued the subjects became even more agitated and showed lack of concentration and even memory loss.


Dreams are necessary for our well- being and health but in order to dream we have to also get adequate sleep especially children and teens.

Happy Dreaming

Monicka

Teens and Sleep

Many parents allow their teenage children to set their own bed time, or at least to go to bed later than the younger children in the family. But did you know that teenagers in fact need at least as much sleep as their younger siblings? Check out the article on Teens and Sleep which outlines the serious implications for a teenager of not getting enough sleep, and highlights from modern research what the most important things are that you can do to assist your teen in getting a good night's sleep.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Break it down

When your child gets frustrated about how long a goal is taking to achieve and wants to give up, the best advice you can give him is to break down his big goal into smaller more obtainable goals. No matter what your child is trying to accomplish, whether it's writing a book. learning a new sport or saving for a new video game the key to achievement is his ability to break his goal down into smaller manageable goals. If you can get your child to focus on one small step at time rather than what is far off in the distance he will have a much better chance of realizing his goal.

Happy Goal setting

Monicka

Raising a Reader

As a child I spent many enjoyable hours reading for the joy of it and I had hoped that even with video games and computers available to waste away the hours, that my kids would develop the same love of books that I had as a youngster.

My youngest son and I are both avid readers, and I really enjoy the discussions we have about the books we are reading. He will ask me what is happening in my book and then he will tell me about the novel he is reading at the time. When we received the last Harry Potter book, "Deathly Hallows" in the mail we were both anxious to get right into it but to make it fair, agreed to take turns reading it. I would read it at night and he would read it during the day. During this time my daughter Savannah, who has not shown a lot of interest in reading in the past, kept asking us what was happening to Harry and company and my son and I refused to tell her? We advised her to read it for herself. In fact in order to really understand what was happening in the Deathly Hallows book I suggested that she should read the previous one, "The Half blood Prince". I was gob smacked when out of curiosity she actually picked it up and started to read. In fact she became so engrossed in it that she finished the 600+ page book in less than a week and to my delight has moved onto the Deathly Hallows.

Do whatever it takes to raise a reader. By showing your kids how much you love a good book you have a better chance of them wanting to follow suit. Let them see you reading and really enjoying yourself. Discuss what you are reading with them and encourage questions. If your children are too young to read you can read to them and make the book really interesting by changing your voice to suit each character or really emphasizing the exciting parts.

Happy Reading

Monicka

Stimulation for your child's imagination - The Natural History Museum

We are very lucky to have a wonderful Museum in London called the Natural History Museum. Hopefully lots of parents are taking their kids to visit it during the summer holidays, and entry is free!

If you're not in the UK, then the Natural History Museum website is still worth a visit, and contains all kinds of fascinating things to discuss with your children and stimulate their imagination - such as the drake equation - what are the chances of other civilisations existing in our solar system? Even you parents might get lots of stimulation!

Happy parenting

Cassie

"Every Child Matters" (and our own parenting newsletter!)

I was happy to see this press release about £456M of funding being dedicated by the government here in the UK to support projects dedicated to childrens' wellbeing.

In our own small way, the Kids Goals website and parenting newsletter too is committed to helping children be strong and successful. There is so much that parents can do to help build their childrens' self esteem and improve their chances of a happy life.

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Childhood Shyness and Making Friends

The summer holidays can be a mixed blessing for shy children, or children who have difficulty making friends. It can be very relaxing for a shy child to stay home with family - but on the other hand the summer holidays can be a a set-back in the on-going and very important process of developing social skills.

If you have a shy child, you may be interested in these articles:

Childhood Shyness

Helping Your Child Make Friends

Happy parenting,

Cassie

Grandparents and Self Esteem

My parents have been staying with us for the last two weeks and while it was wonderful having them around I was not sad to see them leave. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly, but my biggest problem with them is that they never seem to respect the fact that I am no longer a child. My Mother insisting that I wear something less revealing, or I should be eating more vegetables. While on the other hand they spoil my kids rotten allowing them to have dessert even if they didn't clean their plate and all the rules that I set in my household seem to go out the window. It got me thinking, what happened to the overly strict, judgemental people that I grew up with?

Something magical seems to happen to our parents when we have children. Those overly strict, judgmental people that we know and love, seem to disappear into thin air. Our children really benefit the most from this amazing transformation because Grandparents are the epitome of unconditional love. Since love is the most important ingredient children need to develop self esteem and reach their full potential, and unlike frazzled , multi-tasking parents, Grandparents can often provide more undivided, non-judgemental attention.

Here's to Grandparents!!!

Happy Parenting

Monicka

Raising a child with no TV

I absolutely loved an extract from a book that I read in a magazine today. It was by a self-confessed TV-addict mother who, wanting to be the best mother she could, brought up her now 11-year-old son Carey with no TV at all.

When Carey was really small she would sneak away to watch her favorite programs in the spare bedroom while he napped, but once he was a bit older she had to cut that out so he wouldn't realise what she was doing.

The hardest part, it sounds, was not having the "TV nanny" that so many parents use to give themselves a break. But she found an innovative way around that. Her husband had just shown the 3-year-old how to use the kitchen timer and Mom told Carey that he could set it every day (he was thrilled!) for 20 minutes and that was Mom's time, he wasn't to interrupt her. "Even if I bang my head?" he asked. "Well you can call me if you bang it really hard," she replied.

To her amazement, her son quietly sat and watched the kitchen timer for the full 20 minutes and she got a peaceful nap on the couch. They followed this routine each day and Carey soon learned to entertain himself quietly and happily for up to an hour while Mom had her own time.

At 11, Carey has many interests and hobbies but they still don't include television. Because it was never made an issue, he knows he can watch TV at his friends' houses if he wants to, but most of the time he's really not interested.

I thought that was a great story :)

Happy parenting,

Cassie

The family pet

Happy summer holidays! Here in the UK it really feels like summer at last - with the kids off school and the weather suddenly hot.

If you are doing your travelling early in the summer, or if you're not going away this year, the summer holidays are a great time to get a pet for your kids.

One of the best ways for a child to learn responsibility is to let them care for a pet. By showing your children what it takes to be responsible for a living creature’s survival they are actually learning important social skills. A child who learns to care for a pet and treat it kindly and with patience will learn to treat people the same way.

Check out The Family Pet for some ideas on choosing the right animal for your household.

Cyberhugs,

Cassie

Parenting - Slow down this summer!

Hopefully some of you lucky parents out there are getting time off with your kids this summer rather than having to work all the way through and leave them with childminders. It's tempting to schedule lots of exciting outings and activities ... but what about unstructured time?

Maybe we should also consider the value of a child taking things slow and having the space to think about what they are learning as they go through their day? How do children really learn? Is incessantly providing new stimulation and new learning experiences truly the best thing we can do for them, or do they need time off – time to assimilate what they have learned, ponder the world around them and draw their own conclusions about life by unhurried observation before launching into the next activity?

Happy parenting,

Cassie

A child's self esteem - dealing with mistakes

How best to deal with a child who has made a mistake is a question that recurs over and over for most parents. After all, we all make mistakes. Some of us are able to forgive ourselves more readily than others. I have real trouble with this myself. During childhood, I was taught over and over about sin and punishment; and even now when I make a mistake I am almost completely unable to forgive myself.
Some ideas to consider when you want to take your child's future self esteem into account when you reprimand them to discuss their mistakes with them:
1. If you need to reprimand a child for a mistake, be careful to focus on the behavior and not the child. What a child did may have been misguided or plain naughty, but that does not mean the child himself is naughty through and through - so always make sure your language reflects that.
2. ALWAYS give a child the opportunity to explain his mistake and give you his side of the story.
3. Give a child the space and time to learn from his mistake and choose how to apologise in his own way whenever possible. If you constantly rush in with instructions on saying "sorry", you are not letting him learn how to apologise in his own way.
4. Represent mistakes as opportunities to learn and improve. Do not allow your child to see a mistake as a reflection that he is "useless" or "bad".
5. Point out to your child that everyone makes mistakes. Encourage him to forgive others for their mistakes and - just as importantly - make sure that he learns how to forgive HIMSELF when he makes a mistake.
Wishing all children all over the world happiness and a high self esteem!
Cassie

Teaching Kids about Money Management

My fifteen -year - old daughter, who has Asperger's started her first job a few weeks ago. She was determined to stick it out even though apple thinning in an orchard is not exactly a glamorous job, especially in the heat of the BC summers. But to her credit, she persevered it and last week received her first paycheck. She was thrilled, and I took her to our local bank and set up an account for her, complete with a debit card. She deposited the check with a big smile on her face

She has a goal of saving up for a tablet PC, some kind of newfangled computer that she found online that doubles as a lap top or can be set up like a regular PC, and they don't come cheap. Starting at about $1500- $3,000+. Every cent she makes is going into the bank until she has the money to buy her dream computer.

Money management does not come easy for children and it is up to parents to teach your children about savings, rather than blowing every cent they get. As soon as your child has an understanding about the concept of money,, it is a good idea to set up a savings account that they can put a portion of their allowance in or save for something they really want such as a bike or computer game.

Happy Money Management

Monicka