Sunday, March 16, 2008

Teaching Children to do for Themselves

Having been raised by a Mother who thought it was too much work to allow me to cook or learn other skills because she never had the time. I found that when I finally married at the tender age of twenty that I did not even know how to boil an egg, let alone raise a family. Because of my upbringing I vowed not to follow my Mother's example and while I did let my children cook with me there were still a myriad of things I did not take the time to teach them so they could be more independent, which in turn would help build self-esteem. As I look back on my own childhood I received the message loud and clear that I was not capable enough to learn the things I wanted my Mother to teach me. It took a long time after that to build the confidence needed in order to feel like I was a capable wife and Mother.

After years of trial and error I can now do these things with my eyes closed, but still find myself repeating the same parenting pattern my Mother did from time to time with my own children. I guess what we experience as little children is so engrained in us it is a hard habit to break, but one we must, if we want our kids to become self-reliant and capable human beings.

I have been away from my family for just short of two weeks and I miss them dearly. The time we have been apart has given me a new appreciation for them, and I am sure that my husband is finding that having to take on the role that I am for the time being on hiatus from, is probably a bit of a rude awakening for him as well as the children. I do know that doing too much for my children has been their detriment as before I left for my journey I realized how little they really know how to do on their own. Something I vow to change on my return.

Happy Parenting,


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