Thursday, December 13, 2007

A friend in need is a friend indeed

I know that when I have any kind of dilemma in my life, the first person I turn to is not my husband, although I love him dearly, it is Cassie. She knows me so well and we are so in sync that I know if I cannot come up with a solution all on my own she will more than likely know what to do. Now here I am with a dilemma and no Cassie, as she is away in Scotland for a few days.

My friend Cassie means the world to me. She motivates me and supports me and I try to do likewise for her. Our children also need friendships. Sometimes there are things they just cannot discuss with their parents as much as we would like them to. A friend can be a sounding board and a support system for your child to turn to when things are not going as planned. Sadly, there are children that do not naturally develop the social skills needed to make friends and sometimes a child may be shy or lacks self esteem, and it is more difficult for them to bond with their peers.

If you notice that your child is friendless, sit them down and have a talk with them. Rather than say that they look like they are lonely and would like a friend, ask them if they are happy with their friendships? In this way the child will be much more likely to confide that no, he is not happy with the way his friendships are going. You can then ask them why they think it is that way? By letting your child open up to you about his struggles in social areas rather than coming out and saying I noticed you have no friends, you are telling your child that you are not feeling sorry for him, which could hurt his self confidence. He will be thinking gee, if my Mom or Dad noticed that I have no Friends, I must really be a loser. By asking if he is happy with his friendships you are opening the door for him to tell you about his friendship problems. Once your child opens up to you, you can ask if he would like help and then offer suggestions on what could be done. This all goes back to what Cassie said about helping our children to solve their own problems.Rather than saying you have a problem, you are asking if there are any problems? Just a little bit of rewording of a question can make a huge difference in how your child perceives himself. Now I am going to email Cassie with my problem.

Happy Parenting


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