More on Goal Setting

Day six of the challenge and after copious cups of coffee I am fired up enough to attempt the blog this morning. Not much sleep last night so my energy is a little low, but hopefully the coffee will fire up my neurons enough to complete the task at hand.

This writing challenge is not the loftiest goal I have ever set for myself, but I want to make sure that I have a handle on this one before I tackle something even more challenging. The book I read on willpower suggests not taking on too much too soon, as it can deplete your willpower. For instance if you want to stop smoking it is not a good idea to start a diet or exercise program at the same time. If you tax your willpower too much you can wear it out and then all your good intentions will go out the window.

In yesterday's blog I talked about how with children it is a good idea to start with small easily attainable goals or they could get disheartened and want to give up. Apparently with adults this may not be the case according to an article I read, "Those who set more ambitious goals tend to be happier." Here is the link so you can read the article in its entirety. Anyway, I hope you find it informative - it sure gave me some food for thought :))

Well that is my blog for the day and will add the link for the goal setting worksheet to help you get your kids started on goal setting.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka

Goal Setting

Day five of my blogging challenge, and the topic for today is "goal setting." I read this awesome book on willpower and it inspired me to set a goal of my own; which is to improve my writing by blogging on a daily basis for a minimum of thirty minutes. By following a few of the suggestions in the book, such as setting aside an allotted time to work on whichever goal you choose. In that allotted time you don't have to work on your goal, but you can't do anything else. You can sit there and twiddle your thumbs or look off into space but that is about the extent of it. Another suggestion is to hold yourself accountable by telling someone close to you of your intentions. That way they can check up on you from time to time to see if you are following through and give you gentle nudge if you start dragging your butt : ) Willpower is just like a muscle and if you start using it on a regular basis it will get stronger - the caveat being; like a muscle if you use it too much you can burn it out - so start slow in the beginning.

You can help your child to set small attainable goals, but nothing too lofty or they could get discouraged. As they start realizing the smaller goals they will gain confidence and be able to set even bigger goals. Speaking of bigger goals I read an article yesterday about the importance of not setting your goals too small, but that is only when it comes to goal setting grown ups. I will tell you what that is all about in tomorrows blog. So until we meet again...

To help get your little ones started on their goals I am including this link to our kidsgoals goal setting ladder.

Happy Parenting and Goal Setting,

Monicka

Those Parenting "AHA" Moments

Quick update on my son's first night as mascot for our local hockey team the Silverbacks. First off, I am soooo proud of him for not letting his fears get the best of him. I guess we as parents and caregivers would love to shelter our children from anything that can cause them harm physically or mentally, whether real or not. But... by being too protective we are not doing them any favours. I saw how nervous my son was and I knew inside he was counting the hours as the time to leave for the arena was drawing closer. I suggested a good run on the treadmill to alleviate some of the stress he was feeling and he agreed that was a good idea and it really helped lower his stress level. To make a long story short - it all worked out just fine. Unfortunately, the teams previous mascot didn't show up so my son was not able to shadow him as planned. It looks like we are back to square one, and he will have a bit of training on Wednesday night when the arena won't be as packed. That way when the weekend comes he will be prepared for the larger crowds and have a better idea of what they expect from him.

I also want to blog a bit about the aha moment I had with my daughter yesterday. I had asked her to do something for me and she basically told me to do it myself! Now normally I would have told her to have some respect and would list all the things that I do on a daily basis for her without asking, but something inside me told me to be quiet and bite my tongue, so that is what I did. So although I felt a little hurt I carried on with what I was doing and within about ten minutes my daughter came to me and apologized and asked me what it was I wanted her to do and she did it without grumbling. My goodness!! I was shocked to say the least and couldn't wait till my husband came home to tell him. You see my daughter has Asperger's, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder and she sometimes has fits of rage and it doesn't take much. She knows how to push my husband's buttons big time and more times than not something trivial will turn into a shouting match. My aha moment was realizing that by taking that extra time and not reacting too quickly my daughter came to her senses - no harm done. As her Mother I always struggle to find the best way to parent my daughter, after all she is twenty so she is considered an adult, but sometimes she acts so young and it makes me realize and there are so many things that she still needs to learn about life, but that I will leave for a later blog.

Sometimes all we need to do is take a deep breath before we react to our children when they are being belligerent or rebellious. I am not saying you should let your children get away with being mouthy or refusing to do something you ask them; rather, let them have a bit of time to cool off and then you can sit down and talk about it when cooler heads prevail. You may be surprised by the difference that will make in your relationship with your child.

Happy Parenting,

Monicka