Sunday, September 25, 2011

Those Parenting "AHA" Moments

Quick update on my son's first night as mascot for our local hockey team the Silverbacks. First off, I am soooo proud of him for not letting his fears get the best of him. I guess we as parents and caregivers would love to shelter our children from anything that can cause them harm physically or mentally, whether real or not. But... by being too protective we are not doing them any favours. I saw how nervous my son was and I knew inside he was counting the hours as the time to leave for the arena was drawing closer. I suggested a good run on the treadmill to alleviate some of the stress he was feeling and he agreed that was a good idea and it really helped lower his stress level. To make a long story short - it all worked out just fine. Unfortunately, the teams previous mascot didn't show up so my son was not able to shadow him as planned. It looks like we are back to square one, and he will have a bit of training on Wednesday night when the arena won't be as packed. That way when the weekend comes he will be prepared for the larger crowds and have a better idea of what they expect from him.

I also want to blog a bit about the aha moment I had with my daughter yesterday. I had asked her to do something for me and she basically told me to do it myself! Now normally I would have told her to have some respect and would list all the things that I do on a daily basis for her without asking, but something inside me told me to be quiet and bite my tongue, so that is what I did. So although I felt a little hurt I carried on with what I was doing and within about ten minutes my daughter came to me and apologized and asked me what it was I wanted her to do and she did it without grumbling. My goodness!! I was shocked to say the least and couldn't wait till my husband came home to tell him. You see my daughter has Asperger's, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder and she sometimes has fits of rage and it doesn't take much. She knows how to push my husband's buttons big time and more times than not something trivial will turn into a shouting match. My aha moment was realizing that by taking that extra time and not reacting too quickly my daughter came to her senses - no harm done. As her Mother I always struggle to find the best way to parent my daughter, after all she is twenty so she is considered an adult, but sometimes she acts so young and it makes me realize and there are so many things that she still needs to learn about life, but that I will leave for a later blog.

Sometimes all we need to do is take a deep breath before we react to our children when they are being belligerent or rebellious. I am not saying you should let your children get away with being mouthy or refusing to do something you ask them; rather, let them have a bit of time to cool off and then you can sit down and talk about it when cooler heads prevail. You may be surprised by the difference that will make in your relationship with your child.

Happy Parenting,


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