According to the survey by the Centre for Disease Control about one-third of American children are either overweight or at risk for becoming overweight. But the obesity epidemic is also evident throughout other parts of the world especially the industrialized nations.
One of the most loving things that you can do as a parent is to provide your children with nutritionally sound food and make sure they are active. With the recent rise in childhood obesity it has become apparent that too much fast food and a sedentary lifestyle is to blame. Try to lead by example by keeping the sweets and fatty foods to a minimum in your home and encourage regular exercise by making it part of your families regular routine.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Gift of Goal Setting
When I was at university, I learned about Goal Setting and about various study techniques (watch out in the next Kids Goals newsletter for some interesting ways to help your kids with homework, by the way) ... and I was so taken aback by the power of these techniques that I have felt compelled ever since to figure out ways to help kids learn these things at a much younger age.
I believe that I would have been much more successful in everything in life if I had been given the gift of being taught to set and achieve goals when I was a small child. Like learning a language, if something like goal setting is taught very early on, it can become a natural part of a person, so that they do it successfully without much effort or thought required.
Imagine if your parents never taught you the habit of brushing your teeth - how much more difficult it would be to acquire that habit as a grown up?
THAT's why I say that any parent (or aunt, teacher, etc) that takes the time to teach a child how to set goals is giving them a wonderful gift!
Happy goal setting with your kids,
Cassie
I believe that I would have been much more successful in everything in life if I had been given the gift of being taught to set and achieve goals when I was a small child. Like learning a language, if something like goal setting is taught very early on, it can become a natural part of a person, so that they do it successfully without much effort or thought required.
Imagine if your parents never taught you the habit of brushing your teeth - how much more difficult it would be to acquire that habit as a grown up?
THAT's why I say that any parent (or aunt, teacher, etc) that takes the time to teach a child how to set goals is giving them a wonderful gift!
Happy goal setting with your kids,
Cassie
Monday, February 26, 2007
A Star is Born
Happy Monday Everyone
Just a very short blog but hopefully one that will really make you think. I just finished watching the Academy Awards and Jennifer Hudson pretty much a nobody a few years ago took home the Oscar for best supporting actress for Dream Girls. I saw an interview with her a few weeks ago and she said she owed it all to her family because they believed in her and had NO DOUBT she would accomplish great things.... kind of says it all doesn't it.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Just a very short blog but hopefully one that will really make you think. I just finished watching the Academy Awards and Jennifer Hudson pretty much a nobody a few years ago took home the Oscar for best supporting actress for Dream Girls. I saw an interview with her a few weeks ago and she said she owed it all to her family because they believed in her and had NO DOUBT she would accomplish great things.... kind of says it all doesn't it.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Sunday, February 25, 2007
A Small Gesture
Happy Sunday Everyone
I am a little late with my blog today. I usually like to complete it the day before but for some reason it slipped my mind. Since the theme for February is all about love and friendship I thought it very fitting to write about an experience that my eldest daughter told me about on the phone yesterday.
She was having an exceptionally bad morning as she headed off to work and was feeling quite upset. As she was driving along she happened to notice a middle aged homeless lady on the side of the street who was not very well dressed for the kind of day it was weather-wise. She kept thinking about the woman and was almost at the office she works at when something inside her made her turn around and head home. Because she could not get the feeling that she needed to help this woman out of her head, she decided to go home and get a pair of mittens to give to this woman so at least her hands would be warm. So that is what she did. With her small gift in hand she went up to the woman and handed her the mittens and also gave her some money. The woman was so thankful and told my daughter that she was starting to feel like the world was not a very nice place and this made her feel like maybe it was not so bad after all and she hugged my daughter. It was just a very small gesture but it made a huge impact on this woman and when Kayla saw how the woman's mood changed it changed her mood too and she realized that what she gained was sooo much more than the small token of friendship she had given the woman.
By showing our children by example how to be kind and loving we are helping to mould them into caring adults who will care about their fellow man. My daughter's random act of kindness is an example of this, as she was raised believing it is better to give than to receive and even as a child she was always willing to share her toys with other children.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
I am a little late with my blog today. I usually like to complete it the day before but for some reason it slipped my mind. Since the theme for February is all about love and friendship I thought it very fitting to write about an experience that my eldest daughter told me about on the phone yesterday.
She was having an exceptionally bad morning as she headed off to work and was feeling quite upset. As she was driving along she happened to notice a middle aged homeless lady on the side of the street who was not very well dressed for the kind of day it was weather-wise. She kept thinking about the woman and was almost at the office she works at when something inside her made her turn around and head home. Because she could not get the feeling that she needed to help this woman out of her head, she decided to go home and get a pair of mittens to give to this woman so at least her hands would be warm. So that is what she did. With her small gift in hand she went up to the woman and handed her the mittens and also gave her some money. The woman was so thankful and told my daughter that she was starting to feel like the world was not a very nice place and this made her feel like maybe it was not so bad after all and she hugged my daughter. It was just a very small gesture but it made a huge impact on this woman and when Kayla saw how the woman's mood changed it changed her mood too and she realized that what she gained was sooo much more than the small token of friendship she had given the woman.
By showing our children by example how to be kind and loving we are helping to mould them into caring adults who will care about their fellow man. My daughter's random act of kindness is an example of this, as she was raised believing it is better to give than to receive and even as a child she was always willing to share her toys with other children.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Catch your Kids doing something Good Today
Once upon a time there was a Naughty little boy. Not only was he Naughty, but he was very Sneaky too. His Mommy and Daddy had to keep a very close eye on him, to catch him doing Naughty things and tell him off or send him to his room.
The Naughty boy had a lot of fun doing Naughty things, but deep down he wasn't happy because he sometimes wondered how his Mommy and Daddy could love him when he was so Naughty. In fact his Mommy and Daddy loved him very much - more than anything in the world - but they were very sad to always catch him doing Naughty things. "If only our Naughty little boy would be better behaved," they said, "we would all have so much more fun together."
One day the Naughty little boy's Daddy - who had an important job in an office - was summoned by the Man who Daddy worked for. "Oh-Oh!" Thought Daddy. "I hope he's not going to tell me off - I wonder what I could have done wrong?"
But instead of telling Daddy off, the Man said he had caught Daddy doing something specially good at work, and he gave him something very nice. The something was a Golden Nugget of Praise. The Nugget made Daddy feel very happy, and he took it home with him in his pocket.
That evening, Daddy was thinking about his Golden Nugget of Praise and how happy it made him feel, and he decided that he wanted to catch someone else doing something good, and give them their own Golden Nugget of Praise too.
Just as he was thinking this, he saw Mommy helping the Naughty little boy with his homework before bed. "That deserves a Golden Nugget of Praise," thought Daddy. So after the Naughty little boy went to bed, Daddy gave Mommy a Golden Nugget of Praise, and said, "I caught you being a great Mommy, helping our son with his homework, and so I wanted to give you this Golden Nugget of Praise."
Mommy felt very happy and put her Golden Nugget in her pocket and gave Daddy a big hug.
Now the neat thing about Golden Nuggets of Praise is that when you give one to someone, it doesn't use up the one you have in your pocket. So now Daddy had one in his pocket and so did Mommy.
Mommy had an idea. "Do you think we could give our Naughty little boy some Nuggets?" she asked.
Daddy thought this was a wonderful idea. "We love our little boy so much. Even though he is a very Naughty little boy, maybe if we watch him very, very carefully, we'll catch him doing something Good, and then every time we catch him, we can give him a Golden Nugget of Praise. Just think how happy he will feel!"
So from that day forward, Mommy and Daddy were always watching their Naughty little boy very carefully, and every time they saw him do something Good - they would give him a Golden Nugget of Praise. And every time, the Naughty little boy felt so happy, that he became a little less Naughty every day.
Before long, the Naughty little boy wasn't sneaky anymore, and was hardly ever Naughty, and everyone started calling him the Good little boy because he was so polite and thoughtful. He became a very kind little boy as well, and he often caught his friends doing something good, and gave them one of his Golden Nuggets of Praise to keep, which of course didn't even make the Golden Nuggets in his own pockets any less, because of the magical quality of the Golden Nuggets, how when you give one away you magically still get to keep it too.
And when people asked Mommy and Daddy how come their little boy was such a Good little boy, they just smiled, and touched their own Golden Nuggets, that they always carried in their pockets, and said, "We just love catching our little boy whenever he does something Good!"
cyberhugs,
Cassie
The Naughty boy had a lot of fun doing Naughty things, but deep down he wasn't happy because he sometimes wondered how his Mommy and Daddy could love him when he was so Naughty. In fact his Mommy and Daddy loved him very much - more than anything in the world - but they were very sad to always catch him doing Naughty things. "If only our Naughty little boy would be better behaved," they said, "we would all have so much more fun together."
One day the Naughty little boy's Daddy - who had an important job in an office - was summoned by the Man who Daddy worked for. "Oh-Oh!" Thought Daddy. "I hope he's not going to tell me off - I wonder what I could have done wrong?"
But instead of telling Daddy off, the Man said he had caught Daddy doing something specially good at work, and he gave him something very nice. The something was a Golden Nugget of Praise. The Nugget made Daddy feel very happy, and he took it home with him in his pocket.
That evening, Daddy was thinking about his Golden Nugget of Praise and how happy it made him feel, and he decided that he wanted to catch someone else doing something good, and give them their own Golden Nugget of Praise too.
Just as he was thinking this, he saw Mommy helping the Naughty little boy with his homework before bed. "That deserves a Golden Nugget of Praise," thought Daddy. So after the Naughty little boy went to bed, Daddy gave Mommy a Golden Nugget of Praise, and said, "I caught you being a great Mommy, helping our son with his homework, and so I wanted to give you this Golden Nugget of Praise."
Mommy felt very happy and put her Golden Nugget in her pocket and gave Daddy a big hug.
Now the neat thing about Golden Nuggets of Praise is that when you give one to someone, it doesn't use up the one you have in your pocket. So now Daddy had one in his pocket and so did Mommy.
Mommy had an idea. "Do you think we could give our Naughty little boy some Nuggets?" she asked.
Daddy thought this was a wonderful idea. "We love our little boy so much. Even though he is a very Naughty little boy, maybe if we watch him very, very carefully, we'll catch him doing something Good, and then every time we catch him, we can give him a Golden Nugget of Praise. Just think how happy he will feel!"
So from that day forward, Mommy and Daddy were always watching their Naughty little boy very carefully, and every time they saw him do something Good - they would give him a Golden Nugget of Praise. And every time, the Naughty little boy felt so happy, that he became a little less Naughty every day.
Before long, the Naughty little boy wasn't sneaky anymore, and was hardly ever Naughty, and everyone started calling him the Good little boy because he was so polite and thoughtful. He became a very kind little boy as well, and he often caught his friends doing something good, and gave them one of his Golden Nuggets of Praise to keep, which of course didn't even make the Golden Nuggets in his own pockets any less, because of the magical quality of the Golden Nuggets, how when you give one away you magically still get to keep it too.
And when people asked Mommy and Daddy how come their little boy was such a Good little boy, they just smiled, and touched their own Golden Nuggets, that they always carried in their pockets, and said, "We just love catching our little boy whenever he does something Good!"
cyberhugs,
Cassie
Friday, February 23, 2007
Dream Big
Happy Friday Everyone
I was recently contacted by an old friend from past that I had not spoken to for 17 years (WOW!!!). He is now a full fledged airline pilot working for an airline in the Middle East and he is very happy. Since I was writing my article on "Possibilites" for the newsletter I started thinking about my friend and what he has become. When I met him he was flying a small transport plane, and now look at him. Makes me wonder what kind of an upbringing he had that would make him believe that he could accomplish such an amazing feat. Might make a great interview.
Remember you play a huge role in helping your child to discover his potential, but don't let that scare you. Just offer all the love and encouragement you can and here's the biggy!!! Let them follow their own dreams not what you dream for them.
Have a great weekend
Monicka
I was recently contacted by an old friend from past that I had not spoken to for 17 years (WOW!!!). He is now a full fledged airline pilot working for an airline in the Middle East and he is very happy. Since I was writing my article on "Possibilites" for the newsletter I started thinking about my friend and what he has become. When I met him he was flying a small transport plane, and now look at him. Makes me wonder what kind of an upbringing he had that would make him believe that he could accomplish such an amazing feat. Might make a great interview.
Remember you play a huge role in helping your child to discover his potential, but don't let that scare you. Just offer all the love and encouragement you can and here's the biggy!!! Let them follow their own dreams not what you dream for them.
Have a great weekend
Monicka
Thursday, February 22, 2007
A Very Loving Goal
As I was writing out my list of goals yesterday, a new one came to me that made me feel very happy.
There is someone special in my life who I push away at times, and treat poorly, because of feelings of insecurity. I decided to set a definite goal to not push this person away until the end of March. Not that I'm planning to be nasty to him after that :) ... but just to give me something to aim for. Rather than phrasing the goal negatively, I reworded it to the effect that I will be loving and welcoming towards this person.
If you sometimes find yourself losing your temper with your kids, or snapping at them when you could be patient and loving (after all, none of us are perfect!) how about a goal for the month of "being consistently loving and polite towards my children"? I bet the feeling you would get when you set a goal like that would be awesome!
Cyberhugs,
Cassie
There is someone special in my life who I push away at times, and treat poorly, because of feelings of insecurity. I decided to set a definite goal to not push this person away until the end of March. Not that I'm planning to be nasty to him after that :) ... but just to give me something to aim for. Rather than phrasing the goal negatively, I reworded it to the effect that I will be loving and welcoming towards this person.
If you sometimes find yourself losing your temper with your kids, or snapping at them when you could be patient and loving (after all, none of us are perfect!) how about a goal for the month of "being consistently loving and polite towards my children"? I bet the feeling you would get when you set a goal like that would be awesome!
Cyberhugs,
Cassie
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Support and Self Esteem
Happy Tuesday Everyone
Cassie and I have switched blogging days this week. She is such a dear friend and knows me so well that she realized yesterday that I was under a lot of stress and gave me a helping hand, by writing my blog for me. So today it is my turn and I thought I would write a bit more about another important aspect of friendship and that is to provide you with love support and encouragement and yes sometimes even a good butt kicking is in order to get you back on track.
Until your children are adults they may not have such a support system, so you as the parent have to fit that bill. If you always have an open door policy with your children and they know that if they are struggling in any aspect of their lives and need a hug or even a shoulder to cry on you will always be there for them; you may not be aware but you are helping to build their self esteem. In order for a child to feel good about himself he has to always know that there will always be people out there who will never let him down and will love him unconditionally no matter what ..... his parents.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Cassie and I have switched blogging days this week. She is such a dear friend and knows me so well that she realized yesterday that I was under a lot of stress and gave me a helping hand, by writing my blog for me. So today it is my turn and I thought I would write a bit more about another important aspect of friendship and that is to provide you with love support and encouragement and yes sometimes even a good butt kicking is in order to get you back on track.
Until your children are adults they may not have such a support system, so you as the parent have to fit that bill. If you always have an open door policy with your children and they know that if they are struggling in any aspect of their lives and need a hug or even a shoulder to cry on you will always be there for them; you may not be aware but you are helping to build their self esteem. In order for a child to feel good about himself he has to always know that there will always be people out there who will never let him down and will love him unconditionally no matter what ..... his parents.
Happy Parenting
Monicka
Talking to Your Kids
Yesterday I was on the phone with my dearest friend Monicka, and as we were chatting away she was also telling her 10-year-old to get ready for bed.
I said to her, "I love listening to you talk to your kids!"
"Why's that?"
"Well you are always so polite, patient and kind with them, unlike some parents who if they have to tell a child to brush their teeth twice might sound a bit annoyed or rude the second time, you always ask them nicely. It's no wonder they are so kind, thoughtful and polite back!"
The thing is, Monicka talks like that to her kids all the time without thinking about it. So my challenge for all you wonderful parents today is to catch YOURSELF doing something good, and give yourself a big pat on the back. How often do you spend nice time with your child, speak to them nicely, do something with them, help them with a problem? Take this opportunity to appreciate yourself for all the things you do RIGHT every day as a parent - our children are the future, and you as a parent are the most important person in the world for nurturing your children!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
I said to her, "I love listening to you talk to your kids!"
"Why's that?"
"Well you are always so polite, patient and kind with them, unlike some parents who if they have to tell a child to brush their teeth twice might sound a bit annoyed or rude the second time, you always ask them nicely. It's no wonder they are so kind, thoughtful and polite back!"
The thing is, Monicka talks like that to her kids all the time without thinking about it. So my challenge for all you wonderful parents today is to catch YOURSELF doing something good, and give yourself a big pat on the back. How often do you spend nice time with your child, speak to them nicely, do something with them, help them with a problem? Take this opportunity to appreciate yourself for all the things you do RIGHT every day as a parent - our children are the future, and you as a parent are the most important person in the world for nurturing your children!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
Monday, February 19, 2007
Goal setting for kids
I was so upset this morning, when I heard on the radio while driving to work that results of a UK study just out found that the average British 6-year-old had watched 1 YEAR of TV. Maybe that's silly. After all, it means that a child had spent on average 4 hours a day watching telly - of which I'm sure some was helpful and educational.
But it just sounds wrong. Goal setting and goal achievement is, as far as I can see, the crux of what's good in life. And sitting watching TV is such a passive activity that it can only harm our development and our potential to achieve what will make us happy in life. To teach a small child that it is a sensible choice to spend 1/3 to 1/4 of their waking hours watching television just seems to be an insane thing.
I have a challenge for you. Watch your kids this week and see how many hours, on average, they spend watching TV. If you decide it is a healthy amount, good for you for making an informed decision. But if you think a little of their time could more productively be spent on their goals, please help them in the future to put goals before TV watching.
As well as structured activities, kids need time (away from the TV!) to just BE - to relax, use their imaginations, and switch off.
Happy parenting,
Cassie
But it just sounds wrong. Goal setting and goal achievement is, as far as I can see, the crux of what's good in life. And sitting watching TV is such a passive activity that it can only harm our development and our potential to achieve what will make us happy in life. To teach a small child that it is a sensible choice to spend 1/3 to 1/4 of their waking hours watching television just seems to be an insane thing.
I have a challenge for you. Watch your kids this week and see how many hours, on average, they spend watching TV. If you decide it is a healthy amount, good for you for making an informed decision. But if you think a little of their time could more productively be spent on their goals, please help them in the future to put goals before TV watching.
As well as structured activities, kids need time (away from the TV!) to just BE - to relax, use their imaginations, and switch off.
Happy parenting,
Cassie
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Schools, Goals and Competitiveness
As parents it can be tempting to encourage our kids to be competitive at school, sometimes at the expense of children learning and practising other skills such as how to get on with their peers.
Being competitive has its place of course, and can be a great asset to a successful track record as a goal setter. Success at school, too, is a fantastic thing to encourage and praise our children for.
But just as important - well, perhaps more important if we are looking at our children's long-term happiness, are social skills and friendships.
In February, why not take time out to set some social goals with your children. Your own goal could be to help your child become a master of social skills - because his ability to make friends will bring him pleasure and multi-faceted rewards for the rest of his life - much more so than being top of his primary school class in math or whatever.
Happy Parenting
Cassie
Being competitive has its place of course, and can be a great asset to a successful track record as a goal setter. Success at school, too, is a fantastic thing to encourage and praise our children for.
But just as important - well, perhaps more important if we are looking at our children's long-term happiness, are social skills and friendships.
In February, why not take time out to set some social goals with your children. Your own goal could be to help your child become a master of social skills - because his ability to make friends will bring him pleasure and multi-faceted rewards for the rest of his life - much more so than being top of his primary school class in math or whatever.
Happy Parenting
Cassie
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Talking to your kids
Today I got my free DV, "Chatter Matters" produced by the children's charity I Can.
One of the tips on the DVD is "Talk in sentences one word longer than your child." For instance, if your three year old can string together three or four word sentences ("Tommy go to park") you can help develop his vocabulary and communication skills by talking back to him and introducing an extra word or two into the sentence, "Going to the park to play," etc.
Taking the time to talk with your children, and of course also to really listen to them, is a priceless expression of love.
Happy parenting,
Cassie
One of the tips on the DVD is "Talk in sentences one word longer than your child." For instance, if your three year old can string together three or four word sentences ("Tommy go to park") you can help develop his vocabulary and communication skills by talking back to him and introducing an extra word or two into the sentence, "Going to the park to play," etc.
Taking the time to talk with your children, and of course also to really listen to them, is a priceless expression of love.
Happy parenting,
Cassie
Friday, February 16, 2007
Mommy Mode
Happy Friday Everyone
Since I am suffering from major lack of sleep due to the fact that my son has the croup this blog is going to be short and sweet.
Because of my son's illness I have been spending an inordinate amount of time with him. Not that I don't usually spend time with him but in this case for the last few days we have been pretty much joined at the hip. He has a difficult time breathing at night due to his illness and so must sleep with his head propped up. He was having a time of it trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and still remain elevated so I decided to sit on his bed and let him prop his head on my chest. I was thinking through this sleepless night as he lay there in fitful dreams that when our children are ill we go into "Mommy Mode" - we find the energy that is sorely lacking from no sleep and too much worry and use it to help our chidren get through this trying time.
I know that when he is better I will have to play catch-up but for now I am content to stay close by and make sure he is OK and that is fine with me. They stay little for such a short time that we should even appreciate the times when they are ill because it bonds us even deeper.
Monicka
Since I am suffering from major lack of sleep due to the fact that my son has the croup this blog is going to be short and sweet.
Because of my son's illness I have been spending an inordinate amount of time with him. Not that I don't usually spend time with him but in this case for the last few days we have been pretty much joined at the hip. He has a difficult time breathing at night due to his illness and so must sleep with his head propped up. He was having a time of it trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and still remain elevated so I decided to sit on his bed and let him prop his head on my chest. I was thinking through this sleepless night as he lay there in fitful dreams that when our children are ill we go into "Mommy Mode" - we find the energy that is sorely lacking from no sleep and too much worry and use it to help our chidren get through this trying time.
I know that when he is better I will have to play catch-up but for now I am content to stay close by and make sure he is OK and that is fine with me. They stay little for such a short time that we should even appreciate the times when they are ill because it bonds us even deeper.
Monicka
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Tweens, Teens and "Love Lifes"
My step-daughter was with us at the weekend, at 17 years old she is a bit of a stunner and frankly when she's all dressed up and made up she can look older than me! However we still sometimes forget and think she's about 3 years old and our little baby.
She was full of stories of her new boyfriend, Robin, and how romantic he is - cooking her a meal for Valentine's day, etc etc.
The "love life" of a teen - or "tween" for that matter is not always this great. Most of them have an upsetting time at one stage or another.
One thing to consider if you have a child at this stage - or indeed earlier in many cases - is whether you can do anything to help them develop a healthy body image.
Monicka wrote an awesome article about just this, which I thought some of you might find helpful, so here is the link:
Help your child to foster a healthy body image.
Happy Parenting,
Cassie
She was full of stories of her new boyfriend, Robin, and how romantic he is - cooking her a meal for Valentine's day, etc etc.
The "love life" of a teen - or "tween" for that matter is not always this great. Most of them have an upsetting time at one stage or another.
One thing to consider if you have a child at this stage - or indeed earlier in many cases - is whether you can do anything to help them develop a healthy body image.
Monicka wrote an awesome article about just this, which I thought some of you might find helpful, so here is the link:
Help your child to foster a healthy body image.
Happy Parenting,
Cassie
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!
When I was single I hated Valentine's Day I would look on with envy as I watched men and woman rushing to the shops to pick up last minute flowers, cards or candy for their significant others. Now that I am married I no longer dread February 14th; but I have not forgotten how in the past this day just seemed to make me feel extra bad for not having someone in my life to celebrate it with.
If you are single you can still celebrate this special day. Why not be your own Valentine. Do something nice for yourself, buy yourself some flowers or a new outfit just because; and treat yourself extra special today or get together with your single friends and do something fun. If you are a single parent do something enjoyable with your kids. Make up a batch of sugar cookie dough and let your kids cut out heart shapes and decorate them and then you can all enjoy the fruits of their labour while you snuggle up and watch a funny movie together or better yet read to them. Valentine's day is all about the love so show your kids in a special way that you love them by showing them that you truly enjoy spending time with them.
So you do have a choice. You can choose to wallow in your sorrows, envious of others or you can appreciate all the blessings in your life as it is; and show gratitude for the most amazing blessing of all, your children.
Happy Parenting
If you are single you can still celebrate this special day. Why not be your own Valentine. Do something nice for yourself, buy yourself some flowers or a new outfit just because; and treat yourself extra special today or get together with your single friends and do something fun. If you are a single parent do something enjoyable with your kids. Make up a batch of sugar cookie dough and let your kids cut out heart shapes and decorate them and then you can all enjoy the fruits of their labour while you snuggle up and watch a funny movie together or better yet read to them. Valentine's day is all about the love so show your kids in a special way that you love them by showing them that you truly enjoy spending time with them.
So you do have a choice. You can choose to wallow in your sorrows, envious of others or you can appreciate all the blessings in your life as it is; and show gratitude for the most amazing blessing of all, your children.
Happy Parenting
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Love and Goal Setting
When goal setting with your kids, it is a good idea to encourage them to set goals in different parts of their lives. A sports-mad child might get excited about goal setting for sport, and it is a nice idea to ask him to think about setting other goals as well, in different areas of his life.
He can use goal setting to succeed and enjoy himself at school, and also in his family life.
Siblings often fight or argue - which is natural, after all they didn't pick their brothers and sisters and while for the most part siblings have loving relationships, sometimes the sparks can fly!
If you find this happens at your home, an idea for school-age kids is to ask them to make it a goal to behave nicely with their siblings. You can use a chore wheel (click on the link and scroll down to find the Chore Wheel Craft!) for consequences if there are any arguments, but more importantly make sure you praise and reward them when they manage to behave harmoniously for longer than usual! Maybe a treat or outing.
Another idea is to encourage siblings to have a joint goal of some kind if they have an interest in common - perhaps a goal to do with a family pet or shared hobby.
There are so many things you can use goal setting for with your family and your children, let's remember that as well as just "achievement" in the traditional sense of the world, we can use goal setting to achieve a more harmonious and loving family!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
He can use goal setting to succeed and enjoy himself at school, and also in his family life.
Siblings often fight or argue - which is natural, after all they didn't pick their brothers and sisters and while for the most part siblings have loving relationships, sometimes the sparks can fly!
If you find this happens at your home, an idea for school-age kids is to ask them to make it a goal to behave nicely with their siblings. You can use a chore wheel (click on the link and scroll down to find the Chore Wheel Craft!) for consequences if there are any arguments, but more importantly make sure you praise and reward them when they manage to behave harmoniously for longer than usual! Maybe a treat or outing.
Another idea is to encourage siblings to have a joint goal of some kind if they have an interest in common - perhaps a goal to do with a family pet or shared hobby.
There are so many things you can use goal setting for with your family and your children, let's remember that as well as just "achievement" in the traditional sense of the world, we can use goal setting to achieve a more harmonious and loving family!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
Monday, February 12, 2007
Loving, Effective Discipline
A New Way of Thinking
When I find a great idea it always makes me want to share it; so with that in mind here is an awesome way to get your kids to comply without a real punishment. Keep in mind; this is not for the little ones but for older children who require less supervision.
I am sure you have all heard about using "time out" as a means of discipline for children when they are misbehaving; but here is a bit of a slant on the old standby. Instead of making your kids take a time out when they are misbehaving, you be the one to take the time out. Here is the scenario. You are in the kitchen and dinner is late and you are frustrated because your boys are battling out over something silly and refuse to stop. Say to them "OK, I am going to leave the two of you to work this out in a civilized manner. When you can act like the children I know and love, I will be in my room come up and let me know, and I will commence with making dinner."
What an awesome, loving way to get your point across without having to punish your children. Not to mention you get a breather yourself. It is a win/win if you ask me. I am going to try it on my two the first chance I get.
Happy Parenting
When I find a great idea it always makes me want to share it; so with that in mind here is an awesome way to get your kids to comply without a real punishment. Keep in mind; this is not for the little ones but for older children who require less supervision.
I am sure you have all heard about using "time out" as a means of discipline for children when they are misbehaving; but here is a bit of a slant on the old standby. Instead of making your kids take a time out when they are misbehaving, you be the one to take the time out. Here is the scenario. You are in the kitchen and dinner is late and you are frustrated because your boys are battling out over something silly and refuse to stop. Say to them "OK, I am going to leave the two of you to work this out in a civilized manner. When you can act like the children I know and love, I will be in my room come up and let me know, and I will commence with making dinner."
What an awesome, loving way to get your point across without having to punish your children. Not to mention you get a breather yourself. It is a win/win if you ask me. I am going to try it on my two the first chance I get.
Happy Parenting
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Talk to Your Kids, "Chatter Matters"!
Another shocking story in the paper today! Research by children's communication charity "I CAN" found that:
Please visit them and claim your free DVD pack!
http://www.bteducation.org/resources/view.ikml?id=191
cyberhugs,
Cassie
- Half of children were entering primary school unable to speak properly
- 350,000 5-year-olds per year are unable to string a sentence together
- On average, parents spend more time watching TV than talking with their children
Please visit them and claim your free DVD pack!
http://www.bteducation.org/resources/view.ikml?id=191
cyberhugs,
Cassie
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The "Dangerous" Game of Tag
I could barely believe what I was reading in the paper today when I saw that a primary school headteacher in Lincoln, UK has banned children from playing tag during recess. Even worse, the children have been told they are forbidden from touching each other. Best friends aren't even allowed to link hands. The only time the children can touch a classmate is if they need to help a pupil who has fallen over.
This story really upset me, in particular as I had just finished writing an article about how important it is for babies and children to have plenty of loving physical contact in order to grow up feeling loved and secure. Naturally this is needed most from their parents, but affectionate and playful physical contact between children is a vital part of development.
I just hope the parents of the kids at Bracebridge Heath Primary School make a stand quickly, before this misguided head teacher does too much damage to the children!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
This story really upset me, in particular as I had just finished writing an article about how important it is for babies and children to have plenty of loving physical contact in order to grow up feeling loved and secure. Naturally this is needed most from their parents, but affectionate and playful physical contact between children is a vital part of development.
I just hope the parents of the kids at Bracebridge Heath Primary School make a stand quickly, before this misguided head teacher does too much damage to the children!
Happy parenting,
Cassie
Friday, February 09, 2007
Keep it to Yourself
Happy Friday Everyone
I am a little late getting my blog written today, I seem to be having a few problems in the sleep department. Not sure why, but I keep waking up at an ungodly hour and then have a devil of a time falling back to sleep. When I finally nod off again it seems like minutes before the alarm goes off and I have to drag my weary self out of bed. I must have looked a fright this morning because my youngest son asked me with a worried look on his face, "Are you OK?" Now I could have gone on and on about how I haven't slept very well for the last week and woe is me but decided to tell a little fib and say "Mommy is phenomenal!!" He looked at me again and smiled and it got me thinking of how we place our burdens on our children's minds without knowing it. How many times do they hear us with the negative self talk? How many times do hear us berate ourselves when we don't quite measure up to the impossible standards we set for ourselves?
Let's make it a goal this February to really think about the negative messages we are sending our children; either by what we say or even by our body language.We see how our children are affected by the way we are feeling, why do we feel it is OK to place this weight on their little shoulders? Like it isn't stressful enough just being a kid we don't need to compound that stress with our own worries.
Happy Parenting :-)
I am a little late getting my blog written today, I seem to be having a few problems in the sleep department. Not sure why, but I keep waking up at an ungodly hour and then have a devil of a time falling back to sleep. When I finally nod off again it seems like minutes before the alarm goes off and I have to drag my weary self out of bed. I must have looked a fright this morning because my youngest son asked me with a worried look on his face, "Are you OK?" Now I could have gone on and on about how I haven't slept very well for the last week and woe is me but decided to tell a little fib and say "Mommy is phenomenal!!" He looked at me again and smiled and it got me thinking of how we place our burdens on our children's minds without knowing it. How many times do they hear us with the negative self talk? How many times do hear us berate ourselves when we don't quite measure up to the impossible standards we set for ourselves?
Let's make it a goal this February to really think about the negative messages we are sending our children; either by what we say or even by our body language.We see how our children are affected by the way we are feeling, why do we feel it is OK to place this weight on their little shoulders? Like it isn't stressful enough just being a kid we don't need to compound that stress with our own worries.
Happy Parenting :-)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Love and Support at Home and Away
Parenting should be a joint effort - or even better, a team effort. In so called "primitive" societies many mothers have all kinds of support and parenting help, not only from their husbands but from grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.
Nowadays not only do many families feel the lack of an extended family who are around for support on a day to day basis, but sometimes even the sacred bond between the two parents is disturbed, so that one parent is doing most of the parenting and not getting the support they need from their partner.
For any Mothers or Fathers who find themselves in this difficult situation, a couple of tips that might help a tiny little bit:
1) It is vital that you take care of yourself. Try to spend some time each day doing things that you enjoy. Relaxation exercises, a beloved hobby, talking to a friend on the phone, a nice bath, half an hour with a book. Make it a priority! To be a great parent, you need to take care of yourself too.
2) Don't get into pointless arguments with your spouse. State your needs clearly and calmly. Use phrases like "I need xxx" or "I can't do xxx and I need help." It's tempting to get emotional and to use blame, and sometimes it's well deserved! But it doesn't work well. Repeat your needs calmly and clearly, over and over if necessary, and make it clear that you expect your spouse to pull his or her weight.
Good luck to all you loving parents out there!
Cassie
Nowadays not only do many families feel the lack of an extended family who are around for support on a day to day basis, but sometimes even the sacred bond between the two parents is disturbed, so that one parent is doing most of the parenting and not getting the support they need from their partner.
For any Mothers or Fathers who find themselves in this difficult situation, a couple of tips that might help a tiny little bit:
1) It is vital that you take care of yourself. Try to spend some time each day doing things that you enjoy. Relaxation exercises, a beloved hobby, talking to a friend on the phone, a nice bath, half an hour with a book. Make it a priority! To be a great parent, you need to take care of yourself too.
2) Don't get into pointless arguments with your spouse. State your needs clearly and calmly. Use phrases like "I need xxx" or "I can't do xxx and I need help." It's tempting to get emotional and to use blame, and sometimes it's well deserved! But it doesn't work well. Repeat your needs calmly and clearly, over and over if necessary, and make it clear that you expect your spouse to pull his or her weight.
Good luck to all you loving parents out there!
Cassie
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
A Soft Place to Fall
My 23 year-old daughter just met a fellow on an online dating site and they seemed to hit it off right from the start. After a few phone conversations they both agreed that they should meet in person. He had emailed a recent picture of himself to her and she forwarded it to me for my opinion. From what she had told me he seemed like he was goal oriented, and was close to obtaining a degree. It was a nice photo and I very much approved of this clean cut fellow with the enchanting smile. I gave him the thumbs up and started getting excited for her as she planned what she would wear for her first date.
Unfortunately the date was not to be as she called me last night, obviously very upset for having been stood up. I kept making excuses for him saying maybe something came up and he couldn't make it but she said he had his chance and he can go to you know where as far as I am concerned. My heart ached for her as she had really gotten her hopes up that maybe this guy was quality. I guess appearances can be deceiving sometimes.
As far as I am concerned it is that young man's loss because my daughter is not only beautiful physically, she is also an incredible person with a huge heart and wiser than her years. I felt so blessed that she called me when she was down and allowed me to try and console her. We as parents need to make our children aware that they will always have a soft place to fall and it is always safe to tell us anything. If they can get that message they will never feel like they are alone even if the rest of the world has let them down, we will always be there for them.
We all want the best for our children and try to bring them up knowing they are loved and that they are walking perfection in our eyes. We would love to keep them from all of the hurt and disappointment but sadly that is not often possible and they must sometimes experience pain and heartache in order to grow.
Happy Parenting
Unfortunately the date was not to be as she called me last night, obviously very upset for having been stood up. I kept making excuses for him saying maybe something came up and he couldn't make it but she said he had his chance and he can go to you know where as far as I am concerned. My heart ached for her as she had really gotten her hopes up that maybe this guy was quality. I guess appearances can be deceiving sometimes.
As far as I am concerned it is that young man's loss because my daughter is not only beautiful physically, she is also an incredible person with a huge heart and wiser than her years. I felt so blessed that she called me when she was down and allowed me to try and console her. We as parents need to make our children aware that they will always have a soft place to fall and it is always safe to tell us anything. If they can get that message they will never feel like they are alone even if the rest of the world has let them down, we will always be there for them.
We all want the best for our children and try to bring them up knowing they are loved and that they are walking perfection in our eyes. We would love to keep them from all of the hurt and disappointment but sadly that is not often possible and they must sometimes experience pain and heartache in order to grow.
Happy Parenting
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Mission KidsGoals -Loving Yourself as a Parent :))
Parenting is a difficult job at the best of times, isn't it? Our children are so very precious, we want so badly to do it all perfectly for them!
It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that it's inevitable that we'll make some mistakes in our parenting. Mistakes that can harm our children's self esteem, for instance.
What to do?! It's such a dilemma. We could spend all day blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up for being imperfect. Much better though, to accept and love ourselves as we are and focus on those things we do RIGHT, and focus on doing more of those good things for our children.
So a little reminder for today - let's remember to love ourselves for all the wonderful things we do for our kids, love ourselves because we love them and they love us.
You love your kids! And just that deserves a big pat on the back, so please give yourself one right now!!!
Please check out this article on parenting stress for more ideas on loving yourself as a parent!
Hugs :))
It can be hard to come to terms with the fact that it's inevitable that we'll make some mistakes in our parenting. Mistakes that can harm our children's self esteem, for instance.
What to do?! It's such a dilemma. We could spend all day blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up for being imperfect. Much better though, to accept and love ourselves as we are and focus on those things we do RIGHT, and focus on doing more of those good things for our children.
So a little reminder for today - let's remember to love ourselves for all the wonderful things we do for our kids, love ourselves because we love them and they love us.
You love your kids! And just that deserves a big pat on the back, so please give yourself one right now!!!
Please check out this article on parenting stress for more ideas on loving yourself as a parent!
Hugs :))
Monday, February 05, 2007
February competition
Cassie and I would like to announce that we are having another competition in February where we will be giving away Elmo "What Makes You Happy" DVD's to ten of our lucky readers. You can enter at www.kidsgoals.com and then click on the enter contest link by big bird. Or directly at
The competition closes March 2nd so make sure you enter soon
Good Luck
Monicka
The competition closes March 2nd so make sure you enter soon
Good Luck
Monicka
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Friendship
I don't know where I would be without my friend Cassie. She appeared in my life at a time when I was at my lowest and I am thankful every day for having her in my life. Our friendship is a very special one, as you could not find two people more in sync. There are times she will say exactly what I am thinking. I would be lost without her.
Friendship is important for children too. Not only to provide them with someone to play with but it is also an integral part of your child's development. Friendships will help your child develop his social skills, problem solving abilities and self esteem.
Monicka
Friendship is important for children too. Not only to provide them with someone to play with but it is also an integral part of your child's development. Friendships will help your child develop his social skills, problem solving abilities and self esteem.
Monicka
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Kids' Goals and Rewards
Monicka blogged yesterday about milestones and about how important it is for children to have short-term goals. Most children can't think in terms of months or years so it is so important that they can see the rewards of their goals in short order.
For a young child, daily is not too often to ensure they get rewarded and congratulated for taking a step or achieving a mini-goal.
So a little reminder today to watch out for your kids' achievements and reward them - a treat is fine but even more powerfully you can reward them with a hug and with your loving voice. If you do this regularly they will learn to reward themselves with positive self-talk - and that is a gift they will be thankful for throughout their lives!
Happy goal setting with your kids,
Cassie
For a young child, daily is not too often to ensure they get rewarded and congratulated for taking a step or achieving a mini-goal.
So a little reminder today to watch out for your kids' achievements and reward them - a treat is fine but even more powerfully you can reward them with a hug and with your loving voice. If you do this regularly they will learn to reward themselves with positive self-talk - and that is a gift they will be thankful for throughout their lives!
Happy goal setting with your kids,
Cassie
Friday, February 02, 2007
Milestones
I found my very first gray hair today. :-( I knew it would eventually happen, that first sign that I am getting older. I was surprised at how well I took it, considering it was something that I have been dreading. Every time I see my stylist and she assures me that there are none to be found I found myself breathing a sigh of relief. I have been lucky up until today and with my 45th birthday looming ahead probably luckier than most. I now find myself looking at the future and where I would like to be when I turn the big five O. Which brings me to the topic of this blog of setting long term goals with your child.
I think for the sake of your child's sanity long-term goals are usually not a good idea. I know my 50th birthday will be here in a blink of an eye, but to a child even two weeks seems like an awfully long time. The idea of reaching a goal even a few months down the road might be a little too much for your child and could dampen his enthusiasm about reaching his goals. If your child does have a long term goal in mind have him break it down into shorter mini goals that he can reach in a shorter time span. The mini goals will ultimately lead to the long term goal being realized.
So I am off to see my stylist to confess about my recent find. Maybe it is time to accept the gray and embrace this new milestone. Not!!!!
Happy goal setting
I think for the sake of your child's sanity long-term goals are usually not a good idea. I know my 50th birthday will be here in a blink of an eye, but to a child even two weeks seems like an awfully long time. The idea of reaching a goal even a few months down the road might be a little too much for your child and could dampen his enthusiasm about reaching his goals. If your child does have a long term goal in mind have him break it down into shorter mini goals that he can reach in a shorter time span. The mini goals will ultimately lead to the long term goal being realized.
So I am off to see my stylist to confess about my recent find. Maybe it is time to accept the gray and embrace this new milestone. Not!!!!
Happy goal setting
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Goal Getting and Mistakes
When we and our children are working on achieving an important goal, it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. If we aren't making any mistakes we're probably not taking much action, and almost certainly learning very little!
This is an important lesson to help your kids learn. Why? Because a lot of people in the world will say and do things to suggest to your kids that it is NOT OK to make mistakes. Children may get this message over and over in school, for example.
So please remember to repeat to your child, as many times as necessary for you to be sure the message is getting home to him, "Mistakes are a good thing because if you're making mistakes then you are taking positive steps towards your goal, and learning. There's no learning without mistakes! So when you make a mistake go 'YAY - what can I learn from this?!' ..."
Happy goal setting with your kids!
Cassie
This is an important lesson to help your kids learn. Why? Because a lot of people in the world will say and do things to suggest to your kids that it is NOT OK to make mistakes. Children may get this message over and over in school, for example.
So please remember to repeat to your child, as many times as necessary for you to be sure the message is getting home to him, "Mistakes are a good thing because if you're making mistakes then you are taking positive steps towards your goal, and learning. There's no learning without mistakes! So when you make a mistake go 'YAY - what can I learn from this?!' ..."
Happy goal setting with your kids!
Cassie
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